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Disability comment in Court


justme
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Get this. My wife was involved in a custody battle - very long story. I was appalled by what the judge did. My wife adjusted her posture in the court room like she has been taught to by her physical therapist when she is experiencing pain. The judge told our attorney (names are being left out for legal reasons) after she made this adjustment: "By your client's demeaner, I can tell she is not listening to me". At the end, for other reasons my wife's disability was brought up and the judge said "If you are disabled, why did you file for custody?" We are already raising a 16 year old son who is well adjusted and on the honor roll.

I was appalled, but you can't say anything. I was going to get the transcripts and pursue this, but when I started to do research I found this is a very common problem in the court system.

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Guest tearose

This is 2004, where is this judge from? Kinda gives new meaning to the word judgmental! I am sorry that you and your wife had to go through this. Are you going to write a letter after the custody case is resolved? It sure sounds like you already have a good reason for appeal if things are not in your favor! Good wishes to you, tearose

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I could understand if the lawyer had said something but not the judge. That is horrible. I have primary custody of my children and I am terrified that my ex will try to get full custody of them. Of course if any judge lets him then he is as bad as my ex ( he is just a plain mean man). He currently has supervised visits. I keep as much information as I can about my illness from my ex's and unfortunately I have told my children there is no need to discuss my health with any of them. I do know that some judges are biased and it doesn't matter. His statement was so uncalled for and stero typed. I am sorry the world is filled with such idiots. Sorry for the vent but it makes me mad.

Paige

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We haven't decided what we are going to do, if anything. We are running out of money as this is the second round in the courts - long story, but is a very bad situation. We just don't feel like "wasting" any more money. Our attorney hasn't said much about this at all. I think he was as in much disbelief as we were at the time. To be honest, I think the court reporter, and others in the court room were as appalled as us. I felt really bad for my wife. This whole situation has been really hard on her. She has enough to deal with without these types of comments. She was simply trying to protect her children.

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Guest Mary from OH

I will talk to my husband about this. But I am fairly postive you can get FREE legal representation in this specific case because it is an ADA discrimination. (my husband is a HR consultant and the firm he works for is HR people and lawyers. I'm not positive which group it would go through, but she would be represented for free. I'll let you know. She may not be able to pursue it until after the case is closed. I'll find that out too!! Mean people suck!!

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How awful! As was already mentioned, taking it to the media would be a great thing to do. And free!

So sorry this had to happen. I guess there is no end to ignorance or insensitivity . . .

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Thanks for all of your support on this. I will wait for you to get back to me on this Mary. I greatly appreciate you looking into it. It is just aggravating that my wife is already very ill and her fybromyalgia has got very bad in part due to the stress. The travel and everthing was hard to start with. Then this was just the topper to a very bad experience.

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Guest tearose

dear justme, I just thought this judge might be the person for your 5th bracelet! I'd be happy to split the cost of this with you!!!! I'm still pissed off at this judge! Hope you and your wife are able to figure out what to do next. best regards, tearose

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Guest Mary from OH

I talked with my hubby about your wife's case briefly. He said that judge's have a lot of "power" and lea way (sp??). First, I was furious. Then, he went on to explain that it might be the judge testing your lawyer or your wife to see her reaction or capability of caring for the kids. He said some judges do this. My husband said that he would be happy to talk with you privately. He also did say that this guy might just be a jerk. Also, the bad thing is that you may have to wait for him to actually discriminate against her specifically because she is "disabled" and have it on record before you can do anything. I'll email you privately and give you my hubby's email. Let him know who you are and the history. I wish you the best of luck. I HATE BUREAUCRATS!@!!@

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You are exactly right Mary. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like there is much that we can do. I don't think that this was a test as these comments slipped when she appeared a bit angry about the situation. I'm not going to go into alot of details, but the whole thing was really messed up. I have contacted a number of organizations. I think the most that would happen is that she may get cautioned or sent a letter, neither of which is considered disciplinary. We can't prove that my wife was discriminated against. Everything I have seen so far points to the fact that we would be foolish to pursue anything as it could jeopardize future action with this judge. I know it's not supposed to be that way. I have learned that it is almost impossible for honest people to come out on the right side in the judicial process, especially where family court is concerned.

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