Therapy Or The Forum?

[bizbiz]

I will not be treated like a hypochondriac nut and I will not tolerate a patronizing attitude!

This is exactly what happened to me when I went to see a psych to help me deal with this illness when I first got diagnosed. Anytime I would talk about any of my symptoms she would 'remind' me that I had 'health anxiety'

It really made me lose faith in psychs, which was really disapointing for me because I felt that I could do with the help.

I also started to understand why a lot of people with metal health issues had felt like the health system had let them down here in Australia, but on the other hand I feel that it is unfair of me to form this sort of opinion after one bad experience.

For me, now, the forum is all that I need. There are some very wise, caring and compasionate people here who have offered better advice than any doctor, nurse or professional health worker ever has. And when there are times that I feel no-one understands, I know I can come here and communicate with people who are in the same boat as I am. In saying that however, there may well come a time where I feel like I am having trouble dealing and will need the help of a therapist.

This forum has given me a lot of comfort, but I can still understand your need to hear some input and options from someone on the 'outside'.

I hope it works out for you,

bizbiz

[Noreen]

Reen,

I did report her,but I ended up being micro managed from that office until some staff changes were made. That's what I get for standing up for myself. I reported her the same day, but coudln't rememeber her name. I was so upset because of that, but they said they would know who it was based on the time and date I spoke to her. They have a way of figuring it out. Now I know who is was, but they are still employed. The so called apology letter from the head nurse was so cold and sarcastic it was just plain ignorant.

My therapist was helpful, but I switched to my other therapist that I went to when I first crashed with POTS. They are both GREAT, but my insurance covered her better. Both therapists have gotten me through some rough times, and both validated my illness was real.

Reen, it's so much worse then I imagined-----the struggles I ended up with due to this incident. I thought it would be easier to get over, especially when someone else stepped up with a simular complaint. I still strugle with Trust issues, and I think it's obvious in some of my postings today. I couldn't live with myself doing something like that----especially to someone who is sick and vulnerable. I remember being on that hospital campus one day because I was hosting a patient who came to see the ANS doctor there. She was pulling some research from the library and I got disoriented while trying to find where I parked. I was such a mess. It was July, and hot out. I kept going the wrong way, and I don't know why because I had been on the campus 1000 times. When I finally got pointed in the right direction, I slowly walked to my car. My body started to shut down, and I had to walk very slow. A woman was coming from another direction, and I don't know if she was a doctor, but she must have noticed something because she looked at my face, walked by, and then started to turn back towards me, but I lokked at her and gave an, "I'm OK smile". I really wasn't OK, and I felt embarrassed.

I think about times like this, and wonder what this nurse must think about------how she ended up like that. That day is like many days I have dealt with, and I've struggled beyond that with other issues----like PAIN.

There's days when I'm angry and feel like hunting the troll down and telling her what a piece of work she is, and others when I just feel sorry for people like that who have to entertain themselves with stuff like this-------their lives have to be pretty unhappy to want to suck the life out of people like that.

Maxine :0)

Maxine-

I totally understand having trust issues after something like that - it is a violation - a type of rape, if you will. That is why I said report her to the licensing board and the State Nursing Association. It is not too late to write a letter and might even be cathartic for you especially in light of the fact that she has further abused patient trust by doing this to someone else. I wouldn't thought a complaint to the employer would get you far - even though it should.

Ethics are a big issue these days. You mentioned the practice is associated with a hospital - depending on how you feel you could always CC the Joint Commission on Accreditation for them to keep in their file for the next visit. What the heck - she deserves some discomfort in her life.

Noreen

[firewatcher]

I am cautiously hopeful since this therapist is specifically referred to me by my former and my son's current psych (for ADD.) This doc was one of the two who pressed me to go get a diagnosis, he was adamant that my symptoms were NOT caused by anything psychiatric, and he personally referred me to my current neurologist (the one his family sees.) I have a poor opinion of psychologists in general, but this is a therapist, so we'll see. I will NOT tolerate a questioning of my dx, unless it is by the same docs at Vandy who diagnosed me. There are too few "professionals" who have any knowledge of dysautonomia for that.

[erik]

In most cases, the worst they can do is "say bad stuff" to you. You are aware of yourself and your condition and are an adult and will certainly be able to handle this. In some situations, a bad doc can throw a wrench into things horribly... but it sounds like in your context this is not the case. At worst it will be "a very bad aggravating day"... with appropriate fallout from that, but not a chance of worse. Does this seem like the case? People aren't trying to have you "committed" or anything right???

P.S. (I may be repeating) but there is probably a good chance a therapist will recommend using something like this forum... so the answer to your post topic question might be "both"

Edited April 11, 2010 by Erik

[Noreen]

Well, I've got an appointment. May 18th. We shall see if it helps, I have a list of questions ready for the first appointment; my best friend says that they are all "trick" questions, but I'm not spilling my soul to someone unless I can trust them. I've been burned by people I thought were my friends, so I'm overly cautious with my feelings. Respect is also a huge issue, and I need to know upfront where we both stand. I will not be treated like a hypochondriac nut and I will not tolerate a patronizing attitude!

Firewatcher-

I understand where you are coming from - essentially you are interviewing a colleague to see if you want to work with them. After all, you are the source of my life saving mantra - "I am a bland potato." I don't know if it still the case but psychiatrists used to be compelled to go through therapy for years as part of their training.

You must have trust, you must have respect, and a therapist doesn't have the credentials to diagnose medical conditions.

{hugs}

Noreen

[firewatcher]

Noreen! OMG! You made my day! I do the "bland potato thing" all the time! I'm glad it helps!

I have had soooo many people say they pity the therapist and we haven't even met yet! Am I really that bad?!

[firewatcher]

In most cases, the worst they can do is "say bad stuff" to you. You are aware of yourself and your condition and are an adult and will certainly be able to handle this. In some situations, a bad doc can throw a wrench into things horribly... but it sounds like in your context this is not the case. At worst it will be "a very bad aggravating day"... with appropriate fallout from that, but not a chance of worse. Does this seem like the case? People aren't trying to have you "committed" or anything right???

P.S. (I may be repeating) but there is probably a good chance a therapist will recommend using something like this forum... so the answer to your post topic question might be "both"

No, Erik, but commitment sounds divine sometimes! It would be like a second childhood: someone to do my laundry, cook my meals...no responsibility Of course, there would have to be hours of "art therapy" every day!

Heaven help her if she tries to say "bad stuff" to me! I've already got people saying they feel sorry for her and I haven't even met with her!

[kayjay]

As usual I enjoy what I learn from so many of you. I have not been to therapy... maybe I don't want to get in touch with my "crazy side" I know it is there but I am a private reserved person and feel the need to cling to that.

I do want to ask a question... have any of you had therapy with your family members? Is so was it helpful?

Right now I am hurt by my husband's frustration with me. he is super healthy and although he tries (sometimes) and is a really great man... my illness is a huge stresser on his life (and our relationship). He doesn't "get it".

I often feel very useless but mostly I worry about how my disability impacted my relationships.

would therapy be helpful to improve relationships with others?

[Noreen]

As usual I enjoy what I learn from so many of you. I have not been to therapy... maybe I don't want to get in touch with my "crazy side" I know it is there but I am a private reserved person and feel the need to cling to that.

I do want to ask a question... have any of you had therapy with your family members? Is so was it helpful?

Right now I am hurt by my husband's frustration with me. he is super healthy and although he tries (sometimes) and is a really great man... my illness is a huge stresser on his life (and our relationship). He doesn't "get it".

I often feel very useless but mostly I worry about how my disability impacted my relationships.

would therapy be helpful to improve relationships with others?

Yes, but would he be willing to go? It can be a safe place for both of you to express yourselves and feel like you are being heard.

A good therapist should be able to give you tools to use, such as a code word for when you are totally wiped out. It's a lot easier to say 'Marshmallow' for instance than three paragraphs trying to explain which six symptoms have you down now. Obviously, that's just an example but you get the drift, I hope.

The therapist should be able to help you celebrate the things you can do together and work with you so he doesn't feel he has to give up everything because you can no longer do something.

[Maxine]

Noreen--------------------thanks for your support and understanding, it's appreciated more then you know. I felt totally raped-----raped of my emotional well being, my spirit, and my dignity. I'm not normally a bitter person, but this left me feeling very bitter---and ANGRY. I did not receive a lot of support at the time of the incident, but two or three people did write a supportive PM to me.

I even wrote a letter to the president of that university. His letter back seemed more sincere, but in the end I'm sure he probably doesn't care any more then the head nurse did. The story is a little more complicated, and I can't really get into that here. At some point I plan on a surprise visit to the president.

I have no problem going face to face with anyone who needs to know about problems like this.

Fortunately I have have been blessed with two very good therapists, and both have validated my "physical" illness and symptoms. I see one of them off and on as I need to. The other one isn't covered under my insurance like they used to be, and the co-pay is bigger. I was lucky they were both very good, and I was still able to have therapy when needed.

One thing to think about-------------------- Things aren't always what they appear to be.

Negative words you hear from other people, no matter who they are, may have no validity behind them at all. Keep this in mind-----just because someone has a "title", it doesn't mean they know what their talking about.

Maxine :0)

[Noreen]

One thing to think about-------------------- Things aren't always what they appear to be.

Negative words you hear from other people, no matter who they are, may have no validity behind them at all. Keep this in mind-----just because someone has a "title", it doesn't mean they know what their talking about.

Maxine :0)

You got that right, Maxine. Oftentimes, the things we regret the most are those where we didn't listen to our gut feelings/instinct.

One of the most valuable things about this forum is that it validates our instincts that something is not right and helps us gather the courage to deal with those with 'titles' .

Interesting that we are right back to the answer of the question - both.

[firewatcher]

Well, I got squeezed in today with the therapist. She isn't a touchy-feely type and I think I can work with her to create a juggling pattern for my life. She seemed vaguely familiar with dysautonomia and asked about filing disability and if I was a fainter , so there was a lot to get through in such a brief time. At least it is someone other than family to kvetch to! Wish me luck, this might help.

[janiedelite]

Hey, I'm glad it went pretty well!

[Noreen]

Well, I got squeezed in today with the therapist. She isn't a touchy-feely type and I think I can work with her to create a juggling pattern for my life. She seemed vaguely familiar with dysautonomia and asked about filing disability and if I was a fainter , so there was a lot to get through in such a brief time. At least it is someone other than family to kvetch to! Wish me luck, this might help.

Hey there-

I missed this post in the midst of my own chaos. I am so glad it seems like you can work with her.

Isn't it great when we can say all that worrying for nothing!

{{take care}}

Noreen