I Promise Not To Complain Anymore........

[Tommyhoney]

If only I can get through this "hole" I promise I won't complain anymore about the change this has made in my life, about the day to day symptoms, and inability to do the things I've always done. I am so sick, just like when I first got this stuff, feels like I'm never going to get better....I know ya'll know these feelings all to well, but I guess I had a better handle on it than I thought. Started with sinus stuff, brought on by gag stuff (some of you may have seen previous disgusting post) went to dr. at husbands urging on Tues, started antibiotic. Felt slightly better yesterday but then last nite bottom fell out, my usually highish BP was low, freezing, shaking, dizzy, all the usual. This a.m. I thought I'd successfully slept it off, but as the day wore on (maybe I overdid it.....unloaded dishwasher, did a couple loads of laundry, didnt even shower (gross) here I am again. My son needed a ride home from school, and I felt lucky to have made it. I am so sad that this has gotten this bad again. I apologize for the whining, I know so many of you are worse, way more often, but I just needed to vent. I HATE this.

Ha, and I thought I had accepted this. Fool me.

Thankyou for listening.

[firewatcher]

Tommyhoney, sweetie, whine..cry...beat your fists against our wall...whatever you need! It will get better darling! Hang on a little longer! Don't promise not to complain, you'll either become a liar or cut us off as a resource! Do NOTHING but take care of what you MUST, no more. Healing is what you need to do now.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug with tissues for your nose)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Jennifer

[EarthMother]

So sorry sweetie. Trust that it all comes in waves.

What I find hard is to notice "progress" when the pain and symptoms are moving around like a game of 3 card monty. One clears up ... or subsides ... just as another one begins to flaire. The end result is that you feel like CRAP all the time. But what may be happening behind the mayhem and chaos is a strange order of healing. One part, after another, after yet another.

At times like this, I pick one symptom and just watch it to see how it changes. Sometimes it DOES get worse, but I tell myself, That's Ok, change is good ... change means something is on the move. Sometimes it gets better. But I keep the focus on one small part and then I can be sure to notice (and appreciate) when it subsides -- just as yet another symptom takes center stage.

Another thing I have done is to make a very simple list of little things that I can't do at the moment and then checking them off when I accomplish them. Too often our "little lists" get usurped by even higher goals and we forget to celebrate our baby steps.

A recent list of mine included really SMALL ACCOMPLISHMENTS like: Eat one meal with the family at the table. Not sleep in the clothes I will wear the next day (because I am too sick to change in the morning). Take a shower without my husband in the same room. (When I was too weak to turn on or off the water, let alone stand to get in and out.)

I know its hard to recognize a step forward, when we often take two steps back at the same time. But celebrating every inch of our journey makes it possible for us to see that we are always moving ... and ultimately we are more than our symptoms.

Gentle hugs to you on your healing journey.

~EM

[mjan]

Hey Sweetie.. WHINE all you want ok? And never promise not to again ok? Its only the sickness talk anyway.

I am therapist.. and yet I need to whine...at least a little

HUGS to you ~!

Jan

[masumeh]

Isn't it lovely how this disease jumps in and gang beats you whenever you get any other illness, flu, infection, ect... Well, try to relax and push your chores back a week to let your body rest. There's not much other than patience and waiting that can help some times. It can definitely be way more frustrating than a person can really accept, but what other option do we have?

Hope you feel better soon.

-masumeh

[momofsara]

(((((((((((gentle, healing hugs))))))))) to you from me. Dont beat yourself up for venting, the dysautonomia will handle the beating up!!!!! I'm so sorry you are going through all this, I understand its so frustrating and depressing, but just know that we are all here for you anytime. And please dont stop communicating, dont hold it in, just vent away... OK???? Just come here and vent, whine, cry, scream, etc all you want too and you will be understood and cared for like nowhere else.

Much love and concern,

Susan

[Tommyhoney]

Thank you to all for this support, it's so good to have a place to come where everyone understands. I thank the people who keep this board going as well. For the longest I've just "lurked" here, I feel I don't have much to give, as far as taking part. But you who commented here have been like the cavalry to me. I appreciate it sooo much.

Hope everyone has a peaceful day today.

Tommy

[Rene S.]

HI Tommy,

My heart goes out to you. We have to stop blaming ourselves. We didn't ask for these conditions. I get so frustated too when I think of all that I used to be able to do. I can't even take a simple 20 min walk anymore. I'm lucky if I can go up and down the stairs a few times a day.

Take care of you! I know "normal" people have no idea of what we're going through. They don't understand why we can't go and walk through a mall or supermarket shopping.

Anytime you want to vent, we're all here to listen. So vent away. We can totally relate.

Hugs,

Ruekat