People Can Be So Mean....

[Tammy]

With all the wonderfully unpredictable symptoms we get, plans for social events usually get cancelled. People just don't get how frustrating this is for us and them being frustrated with us for not 'trying' hard enough to be social just really stinks. Mostly I figure they haven't walked in my shoes so they don't have a right to critize me in this way, but every now and than, it gets under my skin and really irritates me, especially when it's my in-laws! thanks for letting me vent

[carinara]

Hi Tammy,

i can totally relate. Before i got diagnosed i tried and tried to keep up with the rest of my friends and family but i couldnt, i felt sick all the time. My doctors didnt have a clue what was wrong with me, so they told me as well to try harder. They suggested me to go to a sauna once a week to strenghten my circulation, i tried my best but felt really ill all the time but i was so stupid i tried it over and over again but it just didnt work. My HR went up the roof and i felt so sick with it, the same with sports to the extend that i was trying to skate a marathon. Back then i wasnt as wise as iam now, i kept going to this stupid sauna once a week and because i could only tolerate a few minutes in this very hot room, i was again told: well, you didnt try hard enough?!? Because of all them people telling me that i dont try hard enough (before my diagnosis) i even went on a pilgrim walk in spain with a heavy back pack on it in the hottest summer climbing the highest montains, i got so symptomatic i honestly thought iam going to die. But there again, i got told that i shouldnt panik over nothing, everybody feels dizzy at times and I DIDNT TRY HARD ENOUGH! I felt like a jerk all the time. I tried my best and went over my limit on a daily bases. Friends took it personal when i didnt have the energie to do things with them. They didnt understand. I lost one of my very best friends due to this and you know what? She works in the medical field and kept telling me that i should try harder.

Now after my diagnosis i can feel that my family understands a little bit more. But still family and friends keep asking me to do things i cant do without being on risk to get really symptomatic and when i try to explain to them, they still let me know that maybe i should try a little harder. Well, i dont do it anymore. I do it only when i feel its ok and necessary and not when they tell me to. I can see how some friends look at me when they see me do one thing one day and i tell them another day that i cant do the same thing. They dont understand. Through all this i do know now, who my real friends are and who isnt.

All the best for you.

[juliegee]

((((((Tammy!))))) I'm so sorry people aren't more supportive and understanding. If only they could walk in your shoes for a day! Carinara, how horrible. Your doctor told you to get in a sauna to toughen up! Malpractice! I can't think of anything worse for someone with POTS, expect maybe hiking up a mountain with a huge backpack :-) I'm sorry you've gotten such awful advice & so little support.

Hugs-

Julie