TearsInMySoul

Thank you all for your prayers and kind words! I have so missed the feeling of comfurt I get everytime I log on here. For those of you who know what I am going through from personal experience my deepest of sympathies and for those of you who haven't I pray you never will. I have not been following up with my doctors appointments the way I should have and I am sure that was a contributing factor. However, here you can't even see and OBGYN till your 8 weeks anyway high risk or not ( wonderful world of the army's way of doing things). I guess I just don't like the idea of facing there is something wrong with me. It hurts on such a deep level and I am sure you all know what I mean. I do have to say though I have learned so much being in this community and I thank you all for teaching me so much. I have an appointment on the 5th so I will try yet again to get with another cardiologist hopefuly this one knows what he is doing. I have had such bad experiences with them before. Much love for you all Jenn<3 "If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life? It is other life, it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth." -Mitsugi Saotome

Hey y'all, I know it has been a while since I have been on. My internet has not been functioning right. I feel like everytime I come on here it is bad news. Once again Matt and I got pregnant and once again I have lost him/her. It is becoming clearer to me that maybe this is going to be a difficult task. The biggest problem here though is you can't see a OBGYN until your 8 weeks and I either make it just a few days past 8 weeks or like this most recent time I can only make it to 6. The last pregnancy befor this one, I was 9 weeks and the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. This time I was just about 2 days shy of 6 weeks and then I miscarried. Maybe my heart is causing to much of a strain on the baby... I don't know but I know it is becoming painful and I am about to throw in the towl. I have one beautiful son that I am thankful for. I just wish I could have the big family I always wanted. I know I have years and years ahead of me. I just feel like it is a sick joke someone would play like here congrats your pregnant....now let me have it back... I don't know. Once again if you could keep my family and me in your prayers if you pray I would appriciate it, and any words of wisdom is always welcome. I missed being on here I hope to offer any kind of advice for you if you need it. I missed being on the forum that everyone no matter where they come from can come together and help each other out. MUCH LOVE<3

I think I might take a copy of that article to the first doctor I saw when being tested with my heartrate... She wouldn't listen to a word I said and insisted it was anxioty... THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE ARTICLE!

I haven't been on in awhile, my husband just returned home from Iraq so it has been really busy here. I went into the ER on the 30th for problems with sinus pauses ... I have them quite frequently and I was just curious do any of you know if this is a problem related to POTS or if it is just something new I have develouped because it is really becoming a concern not only for me but for my family as well.

I haven't been on in awhile... I AM SO VERY SORRY... I Know that it is hard.... May I ask how far along were you? Y'all are so sweet... thank you for all your prayers... I can't tell you how much I appriciate it.

Thank you all so very much for your support I love you all .... Y'all are like family to me... <3 wishing the best for all of you .... <3 Jenn

Well, I could not thank you all enough for your advice and your congrats on my pregnancy. Unfortunately I lost the baby last week. I would have been on here sooner but it was too hard to tell anyone ... I was 9 1/2 weeks along however the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. I know in my heart she is in a better place though I am still fighting not to be angry about it. I just thought I would let you all know... for those of you who pray please pray for my family <3 thank you.

Thank you so much for the offer of support. I do have my family who live in the DFW metroplex, whom I will be staying with for at least the first 3 months, until I get past the 1st trimester, and I see how things are going to progress. Matt should be home the end of November, and we are going to be moving to Fort Benning right before the baby is born. My mom has been great and is helping out with Christian, and letting me stay with her, even though she is stricken down with advanced young onset parkinson's disease, and has her own disabilities to deal with. She has always sacrificed herself for her kids, and I feel bad putting this additional burden on her, but she's all I have - my dad is deployed too, to Kosovo, and has been gone over a year now. He and Matt should be coming home the same time, and we're all looking forward to thhat. I'm just so new in the military wife family, that I haven't figured out how to get the support system from them yet, but I will take some pointers from mom, before I leave for Fort Benning. I know that i have the support from this group, and I'm thankful for that! I did post a new topic regarding my pregnancy, becuase, it has sunk in now, and I'm scared for my baby! Please read it and let me know if you have any words of wisdom to impart to me. Thank you, ya'll are GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jEN

I appreciate everyone's replies, and words of encouragement that I have read on this website since I found it a few months ago. Now I find myself expecting my second child (a very planned event, when my husband was home for R&R from Iraq the middle of July). But, now that it's here, I can't help but be afraid as to what POT's will do to me and my baby during this pregnancy. I haven't been able to get into and see a cardiologist yet, and I don't have my first ob appt for another 3 weeks. The army, is having to research whether they have a cardiologist who specializes or has experience in POT's before they will make me an appt, or give me authorization to see a civilian doctor, and LOT'S OF WIVES ARE HAVING BABIES with their husbands coming home on R&R or end of combat tours, thus delaying my first ob appt. I have the same tiredness as I did with Christian, (who turned 1 in June), it was post-partum that I developed POTS, and I'm still trying to figure that out! I can't work, because of the frequent fainting, and graying out spells I have, and the general fatigue it all causes. So that makes it hard on us financially. People who have never heard of this problem, look at me like I'm just lazy, and melodramatic! Has anyone else been treated and/or ostracized for their problem? Can anyone give me advice for making it through this pregnancy, so that the end result is I have a healthy, happy baby. and that I come through it well too? I've heard the horror stories, of miscarriages, of developing worse problems, of dying....and I would like to know the facts, the statistics, and personal experiences. I'm so afraid for my baby, and for my son. What do i need to do, t o know, and to look forward to? Thank you for providing any advice, words of wisdom..........can I have more children in the future, or will this be my last chance to have a child? Thank you, Jen

Aww thank y'all and I will .... My son is one... and yes my husband is in the military but no we don't have a good support system as far as I have found...

Thank you all very very much... and I will use your tips and kind words to keep myself going!

I am so very excited, I am pregnant. My husband and I got pregnant on his R&R I am five weeks today and have a long road ahead... This will be my second child and I am more comfertable because matt will be there with me for this one. Where my son I was a single mother young nieave and very seared. At the same time nervous because of this problem. I think I can do this though... I may be emotional but I will stand strong and listen to my doctors I just wanted to share this with my new found family ....

How do you deal with the pain? I have sever chest pain and it isn't until I sit down till I get it? I am sorry if I sound ignerant when I ask these types of questions... But I did not take this seriously until it has progressed to be worse! I feel like I am whining but it hurts and I don't know how to express it any other way than that... I have deep fears about it all... I wonder what my limitations will entail you know? I went to my moms this weekend to help her get ready to move by painting and getting stuffed moved. I found I wasn't much help at all... I could paint the base boards cause I could sit, but there only so many base boards in the house. I feel useless at time, I am waiting for it all to start getting better. However I am depressed all the time about it. I want to just cry curl up in my bed and never get out of it. I find myself screaming it isn't fair! Then after that I curse myself because my mom who has parkinsons is suffering 100 times worse then I am has the will and the courage to push through it all.I don't know what to think any more I just am lost and I find myself being really emotional over it. Maybe I am stressing to much or maybe I have lost my marbles I don't know.. AHHHHHHH does it ever get better? I find myself writing more though, my biggest outlet as a young teenager was to write poetry when I got mad or frustrated, for awhile I thought I had lost that ability because I was too happy with the way my life was going. Now that things feel like they are starting to snowball I think it has opened the floodgates of my mind and I poor my heart out on to paper. It also helps to come on here and look at the inspirational words that all of you write, and to see I do not suffer in this alone. I do know that I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy but I find comfurt that I don't face it alone does that make me wrong? Please I want to thank all of you for the kind words I recieved from my last post made me feel so welcome and a part of a family on here. I really do appriciate it all!

Hi, Well your definetly not the only new one to this. I am so sorry to hear about your pregnancy. I got diagnosed with pots 6 months after I had my son last year. I can tell you, you are definetly no alone here. I just posted yesterday and I have never felt so not alone in my life..... If you ever need a shoulder to lean and cry on I am here! <3

I never thought coming here I would have so many people who understood.. I thank you all for your kind replys. I really feel more comfurtable talking.. Thank you for the medical advice and the way you all made me feel... I don't feel so alone anymore... thank you all so very much!

I am totaly new to this. I was diagnosed with POTS about mid December of last year. My husband had deployed the 30th of November. I am all new to this and I have been reading up on it as much as possible... Before I moved to Ft.Hood I was supposed to be seeing Dr. Levine, however with my husband being stationed down here I thought it would be best to go ahead and move. One night my POTS got really bad... I couldn't walk from one room to the other without feeling faint and sever pain from the palpitations. I went to the ER down here and they new nothing of POTS... Going based on my word alone without any research into it they prescribed the beta blocker Matoperlal and sent me on my way, no tests or anything... they didn't even ask me for a copy of my medical records nor would they listen to me when I told them that the Toperlal XL wasn't working so why would a genaric brand that isn't extended release work? Needless to say all it did was bring down my bp and brought it down dramaticaly... So I stoped taking it and started just adding lots of salt to everything, drinking tons of water, and wearing the support stalkings. Well when I was in and out of the hospital it was difficult to get a hold of my husband because of where he was located in Iraq. Now I get to talk to him all the time over the internet and just the otherday he asked me what the big deal is with it, he doesn't understand why it hurts so much and so on and so forth. I gave him the address to POTS place and said look it up. Now he wants to change his MOS so he can be home more often becuase now he feels sorry for me. Where yes I would like his support and I like the idea of him being home more often I don't want him to "feel sorry" about it... It isn't his fault and I don't need pity. I hate that I have this, I kept asking myself and God why... I mean I am not trying to offend anyone but I AM YOUNG... I shouldn't feel like an out of shap 40 year old climing 3 flights of stairs when I walk in the mall. I want to be able to run with my son and do things that any body would want to do with there kids. I am afraid of what is to come. Me and my husband want to have another baby, but I have read conflicting articles on women with POTS and getting pregnant. I am confused and really aside from my mother who is a nurse, feel like I have no one to turn to... My husband god bless his soul wants to understand but I get so frustrated explaining things over and over again, and feel like I am being babied. I am a very independent woman who feels like she was knocked down to the ground and I want to get up by myself but now I require help ..... I hate that! Does anybody know how I feel? Can any one talk to me? I hate that i feel alone in this!