Petty Vent

[mattsmum]

Hi,

After reading even a few posts on here I think my problems are probably very small compared to what most of you face on a day to day basis. However I decided to post anyway thinking maybe if I could just vent maybe I could deal with things better.

I have come a long way since my dx and on my medication I am somewhat surviving but that somewhat doesn't seem to be good enough. My husband hasn't been intimate with me in months, when confronted he tells me nothing is wrong but still I got a bad gut feeling that is not the truth. I am putting on weight with the florinef but now I go to the gym 3x a week for 30min session. My first weigh in after a month I put ON weight and have toned up a little.

I work a swing shift which I had managed to negotiate a 4 day week shift however we are experiencing a staff shortage at the moment where people are doing ridiculous hours. People look at me like i am not sick so couldn't I help out abit more? I felt really guilty this week when I found out someone worked 9 days in a row. So I put my hand up for just one extra day but they don't realise that that is huge coming from me.

My MIL helps look after my son after school hours if I have to work and my father in law was a real PITA today when I was trying to negotiate a play date for my son to play with a kid up the road after school. I totally messed up today putting up my hand for the extra shift because my sons xmas present was being delivered that day and I tried to call them all day today to arrange another day and no one answered the phone.

My parents are moving house soon and are paying a fortune for the movers. I felt horrible last weekend my neighbours had a big moving truck outside their front lawn. I asked them if they were moving they said no they were helping their parents move. I felt so guilty I know how much I would love to help my parents move.

I am angry all the time I feel like I can't get ahead there's always something more I haven't done.I have noticed that my screaming when I get home is so bad that my son has adapted to it and is doing his own which makes me feel incredibly guilty. I get home from work and look at all I need to attend to and I am just too tired. Fatigue will always win in the end and no one understands. Makes me feel like just finding a nice quiet place to hide to cry. Wish the world would cut me a break sometimes.

Anyways I know this is really petty but thanks for the vent.

[MomtoGiuliana]

I don't think these concerns and frustrations are all that petty, although I do understand what you are saying. I also know that my struggles with POTS are minor compared to what many on this forum face. We are all at different places with POTS and each with our own challenges. By coming together here on the forum we can better understand what we are going through ourselves as well as support each other. It helps to lay out frustrations and concerns in writing, I find.

I also work full-time and have a young child. I know how exhausting it can be at times when you try to do more than you really can. I think we are all striving to be as "normal" as possible and it is often not possible.

Have you and your husband tried counselling? It may help him to understand what you are going through and help you both negotiate the challenges together better.

Sometimes you have to let things go. Do you have to take on extra days in order to assure your employment? If not, don't do it. I have made the huge mistake of taking on way too much work and too many hours and paying for it with flare-ups. My boss does not expect this level of dedication--I want it of myself, but it is not realistic. I try to let go of tasks at home too. In the evenings I try to mostly focus on spending time with my daughter. There are things I wish I could get done, but some of these things I just let go of. Yoga (positions that don't cause more POTS symptoms) and regular light exercise (e.g, walking) helps me to re-focus too.

Hope things get better for you soon.

Katherine

[pat57]

I sure hear you!

I have no solution but as someone who posts here says ,take things one minute at a time. That works. That way you don't think about what "he" did or didn't do in the past. Likewise what you did or didn't do. And the tragic WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE forecasts.

[Eli6596]

Hi,

I know how you feel. Overdoing it or feeling guilty when I don't overdo it are problems with which I struggle too. When people ask me to do something that I know will be too much for me, I simply state that I cannot due to my health problem. I tell them that my health problem keeps me from doing everything that I would like to do. When I keep it simple and firm, people seem to understand that I am serious, and cannot be talked out of it.

I try to let go of all my negative emotions because they just make my POTS worse. I try to focus on what I CAN do. I apologize to family when I am grumpy.

Take care of yourself,

Karyn

[runningshoe]

You are not alone in this struggle. I totally understand what it is like to want to do more, feel you are expected to more but can't do more! The best money I have ever spent is on the psychiatrist I see to help me figure all this out. You spend most of your life being one way and then wham everything changes. Anger makes me feel worse so I try to dumb all my bad feelings in the dr office. When I am over tired and overwhelmed I feel very crabby. The weight gain from the meds (florinef, elavil, betablockers etc) is a bummer to. I seem to be able to keep my weight down only if I eat very little. That is no fun! Forgive yourself! Find a place to cry, come here and vent. We understand.

[mattsmum]

Thank you everyone for your heart felt support. It means alot to me that someone out there understands.