Exhausted

[worththewords]

This morning I woke up completely exhausted. I had slept hard but woke up feeling like I had only been sleeping like 15 minutes before my alarm went off signaling the madness that has become my daily routine. I thought about how celebrities suffer from exhaustion. I was wishing one of their doctors would just appear, diagnose me with exhaustion, and give me a few days off from life. If only..

I found out in late June that my mom was sick and was going to have to go through 6 months of treatment. I'm really the only family in the area so for the past 4 weeks I've been taking care of my mom day and night. We have one month down and five more to go! Taking care of her is a full-time job but I'm not complaining, I wouldn't have it any other way. She is my mom, afterall.

On top of it though, I am going to school full-time. In December I graduate from the substance abuse studies program and become a certified addiction counselor. Therefore this semester's courseload is harder than usual and even more demanding of my time. I have two patients for the first time and my every word and move is being supervised. No pressure or stress there!

Suprisingly out of the past 4 weeks I've only had 1 day where I was really sick (dizzy, low BP, etc.). Oddly enough, (and knock on wood as I type this) some of my symptoms (besides the exhaustion and overall body ache) have subsided. I used to suffer with tachycardia so many times a day I could never even keep track and it really made me feel horrible. I only seem to get an episode if I'm startled (ringing phone really early in the morning, bad dreams, alarm going off, etc.) or from the heat and it goes away rather within minutes.

Perhaps I'm just conditioning myself even more?!?! This is a rough lifestyle to maintain if it is what it takes to condition my body, if that is even possible with this condition. It might be that I just haven't had time or allowed myself to crash. My body definitely aches but I am continuing on somehow.

And just when I thought I couldn't get go in any more directions my lease ended and my landlord wanted to raise my rent dramatically, so I will be moving into a new place on October 1st. The good part is the place is less than a mile from my mom so I will be able to sleep at my own place and still be there for her the rest of the time. I just dread the thought of packing (I will be making a huge donation to Goodwill to lessen my load), carrying things in the Florida heat, and unpacking!

I need some suggestions for energy. Yes, I know sleep would be a good one and I try to get as much of it everytime I can. I haven't touched caffeine in 5 years and I don't plan on starting. I take Klonopin which helps maintain my tachy episodes but it makes me so tired sometimes. However, I don't think it would be a good idea to stop taking it. I've heard about Provigil that helps some people. What are the side effects? Any other suggestions? I don't want to start anything where the side effects are going to put me out of commission. For the most part, I am very happy with all that I have been able to maintain in the past month. It's really a juggling act at times. However, I don't know how long this will last and if there is anything that might be able to help me I'm willing to try.

If you managed to read all of this, thanks for listening and any suggestions would be appreciated.

[nadine]

I don't have any great ideas- just wanted to say that I think you have good reason to feel exhausted. I also take Klonopin and especially need it for sleep, so if I didn't have that- I would feel even worse. You may be right in not stopping it, maybe just adjusting when you take it.

I assume you may already take vitamins? I know when I miss mine it makes a huge difference and when I am not eating well, that makes me feel worse also.

take care and good luck with your move. Perhaps once the move is done, that will be a little less stress as well.

[worththewords]

I take Klonopin twice a day - in the morning and at night. As odd as it sounds, the one I take at night doesn't really make me sleepy but I have to fight the sleepiness in the morning after taking it.

I don't take vitamins. I've had some doctors tell me to take them and others tell me not to take them. It was too many conflicting opinions for my taste. Maybe when I go back to the doctor next month I'll see their current thoughts on it.

And I always eat healthy but maybe not well. It seems by the time I prepare food for my mom and sometimes my fiance. Take food to her, run back and forth getting her a drink, salt, whatever else she wants, and start to tackle the mess of the kitchen I'm too tired to even eat myself. I'd rather take that time to just lay down while I have a break while she is eating! That's something I could work on more but I like to grab a nap whenever I can.