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I dunno, Im tired,......

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Hi All,

Went to psychiatrist today. He agreed to manage all the centrally acting drugs for me so I dont fry my brain (or the 4 other docs prescribing meds).

It was sort of the usual 1st time see a doc explain, explain (pray he doesnt think Im menopausal with an anxiety disorder) explain........

But he asked me basically 'Have you ever thought about what your gonna do when you get better'

My brain froze, I had no answer, I was in a stupor and it wasnt from POTS. Hmmmmm. Am I going to get better? Now if i was my former self, when my brain actually worked I would have responded with "Do you know someone one something that will make me better" But nooooooooo, I stayed in a stupor.

I am spending so much time, energy and money on finding ANYONE to validate my disability in writing and send it to Unum so i dont have to prove every month that Im still sick for a stupid check. (that I am very thankful for).

What would i do if i got better? Go back to the ER and work 65 hours a week night shift in the trauma unit. Id finish my masters. Id ride my horse like a bat out of ****.

He wrote me a script for valium. I now can add depression and generalized anxiety disorder to my DX kist, WOO HOO!

On the brighter side, my daughter in law is due any day now with the nameless baby boy. Her ultra sound measured the baby at 11 lbs 15 oz. We go back tomorrow for another ultrasound. If it confirms the baby is big they are going to induce her. My poor daughter in law, she is miserable, record heat here, a 12 lb baby, hopefully all goes well and we have a healthy baby boy with a name this weekend.

Have a good night all.


Is Pooh home yet?

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Janine, I always think about what I'd do if I got better... but that's a twisted thing for me to think about most days. I'm unlikely to get better. Somehow, I can't help to think about it.

I wish your daughter-in-law the best...all I can think to say is... well... Ouch. That's one big boy!


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