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I Was Unable Tio Envision My Life

Guest letitbe

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Guest letitbe

This is my 1st new computer. It's light brings on rather unpleasant sympts really fast.

I have not filled out my bio because I need to be calm and do it at a time not posting.

Thread title is because no matter where I read, look. go, explore aoput POTS, most all people had some kind of life, skills, mate, family, education etc "in order" prior to getting severe in illness. You young ones are truly blessed that you may get your dreams IF you LEARN how to manage this with the skills I didn't know existed till I was older than dirt---which was when I was diag. as well.

I heard someone say on TV tonightthat their life was a lie. I remember cog/sleep/racy, learning probs and so much more by very young.

I never envisioned.

It was like I forgot. I FORGOT. I just lived day to day. I have an article about Adolescents with POTS-CFS and Depression and it's describing me.

It even says we had all these skills but didn't TRY things because we 'believed we could not do them.' (no ox-eee-gen in the noggin')

That was true. Phys gym things, projects, clubs, groups. It said that we white knuckle every moment so planning wasn't an option. Phen POW, my life changed and I moved and betrayal and sicker than ever with little that belongs to me. Lost everything. I Have food and shelter and would be offended if anyone ,mentioned that. I am highly aware what takes place all over the world at any moment.

But I didn't plan. Then got too sick to think. Always knew I would be a mom and forgot!!!



4 unfinished colleges.

Now I can start from anywhere cause I have nothing and no one, but that may not be as much fun as some readers may think.

You have a warm place to fall!


All I knew by toddling, is that I wanted to change the world. Still do. That was the one thing that never left my soul. Or at least 3rd world assistance. Others saw it in me as well. Still do.

I must begin (IF I begin) to wellness or nothing will ever be true. ALL the normal stuff even creeps have, not me.

As a child, I could not envision. Every little girl dressed like a bride. I didn't. I still want that.

I hate this and that has to be ok. I am also so much less patient with people.

Gotta figure out this bright light too!

xoxoxox to all.

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How are you doing today? I will be praying for you... I know when I am feeling especially down I have Gods grace to get me through another day... which I know you do too. This illness does strip us of the lives we may have wanted, but what works for me is taking it one day at a time and doing my best for the moment everything else will eventually work its way out.


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I totally understand your frustration. And the 'white knuckle' reference - I get it! I am different in that I found myself to be much more patient with people after I got sick. Even though I was always helpful and nice, now I have a much deeper compassion and understanding. It helps me to remember that we are ALL fighting some kind of battle, dysautonomia or not. I send my very best wishes to you in your journey.

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