Special Cme Exam: Canidae (canus Lupus Familiaris), As Patients With ? And Diagnosticians For -- Dysautonomia

[Tachy Phlegming]

In a funk? Take this Continuing Medical Education Test and cheer up! (or not ... )

PART I: Qualification for This Special CME Test.

1.) Do you know what it means to be as sick as a dog?

http://www.cvm.missouri.edu/neurology/Dysauton/DYSAUCVT.htm

2.) How have you enjoyed your most recent visit to the doctor?

(Essay question)

PART II: Case Study of Canidae (canus lupus familiaris) as Patient; Differential Diagnosis.

1.) If:

a. the dog in the above article were your pet;

b. you took him to the vet; and

c. you told the vet he had dysautonomia,

which of the following would happen:

A. The vet would tell you there is nothing wrong with the dog.

B. The vet would recommend treatment of the dog by a dog psychiatrist.

C. The vet would look in the DSMKIX, and tell you you had Doggie Munchausen Syndrome by proxy. Your dog would be given a pilocarpine test to see whether you had poisoned him with atropine.

D. The vet would tell you your dog looked like you and that your dog had sympathy

pains. (Compare I)

E. The vet would say that your dog had asthma, poor anal tone, photophobia, and a distended bladder.

F. The vet would refer your dog to a specialist for treatment.

G. The vet would tell you that nothing could be done for your dog.

H. The vet would tell you that your dog needed a sleep study.

I. The vet would tell you your dog had a disease of the sympathetic nervous system and prescribe bethanecol and pilocarpine.

PART III: Canidae (canus lupus familiaris) as Diagnostician

1.) Do you have a dog?

If you answered yes, go to question 2.

If you answered no, go to question 3.

2.) Does your dog know when you are sick?

http://dinet.ipbhost.com/index.php?showtopic=4474&hl=

3.) Do you have a doctor?

4.) Does your doctor know when you are sick?

http://dinet.ipbhost.com/index.php?showtop...+horrible\

5.) Who is dysautonomic man/woman?s best friend?

A. Dog

B. Doctor

6.) A diagnosis of dysautonomia often involves:

A. 101 Dalmations.

http://www.breederretriever.com/forums//showthread.php?t=29

B. 101 Doctors.

http://dinet.ipbhost.com/index.php?showtop...+take+you\

PART IV: The Perils of Point Mutations in Canidae as it pertains to diagnosis of dysautonomia in Hominidae (in particular, homo sapiens).

_{(Caveat: this section is a little esoteric and only serves to elucidate the material in Part III on a more technical level).}

1.) What are the letters used in the genetic code?

http://www.brooklyn.cuny.edu/bc/ahp/BioInf...eneticCode.html

A. A

B. C

C. G

D. T

E. All of the letters above

2.) What is a point mutation?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Point_mutation

http://www.genetichealth.com/g101_changes_in_dna.shtml

A. The difference (change) of one letter in the genetic code.

B. What this test is about.

C. Both of the above.

3.) What is the difference between a do-G and a do-C?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/doc

A. One letter.

B. A point mutation.

C. Relative sensitivity to your low blood pressure and high heart rate.

D. All of the above.

4.) How does the substitution of one base, C (cysteine) for G (guanine) affect the phenotypic expression of a do-C as compared to a do-G?

See, e.g.,

http://www.jci.org/articles/view/26956/version/1

A. The expression of the do-C variant is bipedal and intelligent in appearance whereas the do-G variant is less intelligent in appearance (despite superior intelligence), quadrupedal, and hirsute.

B. The expression of the do-C variant exhibits almost complete insensitivity to low blood pressure and high heart rate in homo sapiens whereas the do-G variant does not demonstrate such insensitivity.

C. Where there is incomplete penetrance of the mutation, a do-C can be terrific.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penetrance

D. All of the above.

5.) What is a do-A?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_on_arrival

A. Another point mutation - the substitution of arginine for guanine.

B. Doctorspeak for your greatest fear when you call an ambulance.

C. What may happen to homo sapiens with low blood pressure and high heart rate after too many encounters with do- C variants.

D. All of the above.

Disclaimer: This thread is not intended to be used as medical advice. For diagnosis and treatment of dysautonomia, please consult a qualified physician. _{(But if none is available, a dog may monitor your health more constantly and carefully. )}

[firewatcher]

Tachy,

Most vets actually know more about dysautonomia than doctors. Sad, but true. I have threatened to crawl on all fours (have to sometimes anyway) and call myself Fluffy to get in and see a vet who would treat me. Before my dog died, he hovered around me. I thought that it was because he was so sick, now I realize it was because I was.

Rest in Peace, Ivan.

[Tachy Phlegming]

When I read that article (and at [many and] various times before that), I also felt that I might have been much better off had I been a pet seeing a vet. I'm glad to know someone else has had exactly that thought.

And of course, the second part of the test was to point out your second observation ...

[Mrs. Burschman]

Dogs are less likely to get accused of psychological problems, I would think.

Lucky dogs.

[erik]

101 Doctors! That kills me!

I have long believed that there is something similar to the Rainbow Bridge for any loving doctors that happen to pass before we do??? I think the poem goes something like this:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When a doctor dies that has been especially close to someone here, that doc goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are stethoscopes and sphygmomanometers for all of our special friends so they can mock and fail to diagnose each other. There is plenty of food, water and benzodiazapines, and our friends are warm and comfortable but a little groggy.

All the docs who had been ill and old and dense and insensitive are restored to health and former diagnostic "skill". Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our hypnogogic & lucid dreams of days and times gone by. The docs are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. Their beloved POTS patient.

They all cold-pressor test and sigmoidoscope each other, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body presents essential tremor. Suddenly he begins to run from the mainstream medicine group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy investigational prescriptions rain upon you; your heart again beats at 180 bpm upon standing, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your doc, so long gone from your life but never absent from your tachycardic heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... and your doc "mysteriously slips" over the edge into the chasm below.

Author pleads the 5th...

[juliegee]

I don't know who wins the delightfully snide creativity award, Eric or Tachy. Keep 'em coming. We all need to laugh!