mancmm19 Posted March 20, 2009 Report Share Posted March 20, 2009 Hi everyone,Yesterday and today have been 2 of "those days"...you know, when everything is just miserable and you lay around feeling sorry for yourself. I try to be upbeat and positive, and to tell you the truth, although I've been sick for 2 and a half years and diagnosed with POTS for almost 2 months, I still don't accept it. I don't accept that I am sick with something that ruins every day of my life, ruins my dreams and plans and most of all ruins my good attitude. I find it hard to enjoy anything in life anymore when I'm constantly not feeling well or worrying if what I do will make me sick or if I get sick where is the closest hospital, etc. We all have only ONE life to live, and the reality is, I might be spending mine sick with no cure. I know other people have it so much worse, they have cancer, or are on dialysis or lose limbs, but I cannot accept the fact that this might be my life. Everything was great 2 and a half years ago!! How could it all be taken away so fast? I wish more than anything in this whole world that I will feel normal again some day. I know a lot of the literature says that 85% of people "grow out of it"...but is that really true? I need some sort of hope, something to go on. I am only 22 and the happy and healthy years of life that I had were far too short. I need to know that I will have that again and that I don't have to put all of my big plans on hold forever.One of the worst parts about all of this is that you feel like you're dying. With every system out of wack...how could you not? It is very hard to accept that that could be the cause of ALL of the seemingly unrelated symptoms, and I am constantly worried that there is something else they are missing. Every t.v. show I watch (Grey's Anaotmy, Mystery Diagnosis, Mystery ER) leave me wondering "Oh my goodness, those sound like some of my symptoms...could they have missed that?) It has been a terrible way of going through life and it needs to stop if I ever want to gain control of my life back. I'm sorry to rant, but does anyone have any advice or positive information? For the past 2 and a half years all I prayed for was a diagnosis, and now that I have one, I can't accept it. I am still left wondering if there is something else or if it is all POTS, will it ever go away? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Broken_Shell Posted March 20, 2009 Report Share Posted March 20, 2009 Hi Michele,I hope this finds you feeling a little better. I sent you a PM.~ Broken_Shell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firewatcher Posted March 20, 2009 Report Share Posted March 20, 2009 Michele,We hope because we must. Without hope there is no future. I know how you feel, many of us do. We rail against God or the Universe: Why me?! Why now?! Why this?! It is NOT fair! But you know what, you did not make a choice in this...as badly as it stinks, it IS a part of your reality now. How you deal with this is your choice. There WILL be days, weeks, months when you feel like duck squeeze! Allow yourself to feel that way! You have permission to be sick! Throw yourself a pity party and do what makes YOU feel better (I'll bring cupcakes and gatorade!) There will be doctors and uninformed/uncaring people who will truly think that you are nuts! THEY ARE WRONG! Does it make it any better to know that? No, you still feel lousy. But WE know what it feels like. Many of us care. We KNOW you are sick, and we sympathize and will try to support you! Don't give up. Please! Wallow for a while, you are allowed. With as much support and understanding as I can give through a forum:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))Jennifer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.