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Incoherent Rambling


lieze

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I think it's easy for my mind to go blank when there isn't enough circulation to my brain, which is often. And our illness is so complex, I find it hard to know where to start explaining it and then I can get blank or just really confused. I was at the doctor yesterday and I was having a hard time telling him why I am worse right now. You are not alone <_<

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The harder you have to concentrate, sometimes the worse it gets. Are you tweaking any of your medications? I ask this because the doctor was pulling my son off some of his towards the end of the school year. It was awful! He had to have more help then normal to write a 3 paragraph essay.He could not hardly stay focused. I'm already concerned about next school year. Thank goodness summer vacation is here.

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I am not on any meds.

I think I feel such a level of frustration because I am really trying to share and it's just hopeless.

The harder I try the worse it gets yes and I leave exhausted and hyped up at the same time and then almost feel humiliated like what just happened.

I think I need to just not talk.

Let the other person talk or ask questions because when I get on a roll it's just like a giant train wreck.

It was all I could do to drive home after.

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I am almost glad now that it happened because I'm going to work very hard to not go into this state at my hearing.

I had to go in to my previous employer to get my retirement money released because I'm moving it to a different fund.

Well that was enough pressure already and then my boss came up and asked the dreaded question.

"How are you doing?" talk about opening a can of worms.

And you know what part of the issue was by the time I left I was so muddled and confused I no longer had a sense of what I had even communicated whether I was able to relay anything at all.

As a result for my hearing I am completing a very concise list of information that I know will be asked so I can be accurate and to the point with my responses and not waste time rambling and then miss the opportunity to present information that would better convey my limitations.

Maybe I can compensate this way by knowing what I don't want to do. I obviously don't want a repeat of what happened yesterday especially during something as crucial as my hearing.

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