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Looking For Moral Support. Overdid Things, Now Crashed.


abbyw

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Hi everyone,

Looking for some moral support here. As I have posted many times, I self diagnosed POTS a few months ago, and with an SSRI, I have been doing much better. I have been working, and running the house, even though I am very tired a lot of the time, but I have been really functioning well.

The last few weeks have been crazy, I had relatives coming in to town to visit and I had a big family weekend that I planned. I ran around doing errands for weeks, and I planned menus, cooked and cleaned, and pulled off a great weekend. I was exhausted at the end of each day and felt really overwhelmed, but I pushed through. Sometimes, I was so exhausted that I cried, and I went to lie down with a house full of guests at really strange times, but I kept going.

Well, now its over and everyone left, and I am sooooo exhausted I just can't snap out of it. I have to get work done, and I just don't have the strength. My body is just done. Even while I am sleeping, I feel exhausted. I slept for an hour and a half this afternoon, and I felt just as tired when I got up as when I went to sleep.

I knew while I was doing it, that it was too much, but I felt that I didn't have a choice. I wanted to do this for my kids, my family and myself. But now I have deadlines at work and a home to run, and I feel like this condition just won't let me do it.

I know that this is just a long vent, and there isn't much you can tell me, I am just so frustrated that this has happened to me. I was trtying to just pretend that I could keep going as if POTS isn't here, but I can't.

There was another thread today about the kid who was "cured" by Mayo with the program of "pretend it isn't there". Well, I tried, but it is just too much for me.

Thanks for understanding me,

Abby

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Abby, hang in there. I'm going through a time too. It's very hard when our bodies are not the bodies we are used to. And, trying to get back to our "old" bodies is an exercise in frustration. I've been there and am going through that. I'm usually a 70+ hour a week attorney, two young kids, run my house like Martha Stewart and I've been battling my ongoing hypotensive issues the last 15 months. Having to work P/T (looking at taking a leave of absence) and not doing much around the house....it's very frustrating. I hear you. The things that have helped me are to journal each day and write down "all the things that went right today" and then go back and look at that. The fact that you pulled that off for your kids is great! But, I've had to learn that (a) my health is the most important thing; and (B) life is much more manageable when we scale back and then can "depend" on our bodies for that reduced scale. When I had my second child, my therapist said to me, "just because you had a second kid does not mean that God added more hours to the 24 hours in a day." Some things have to give. ((hugs))

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HI Abby,

If you happened to have the flu today would you take a sick day? Maybe you need to let yourself take a "sick day" to recover so you can move on from the great weekend. Even people without POTS often need a day to recover from company or a vacation. And, taking care of yourself is never wrong.

Katie

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Can totally relate to what you're saying abbyw. Have done this to myself in a similar manner many times. It seems that somehow we can pull enough adrenaline into play that we can get thru some of these big situations but our bodies make us pay for it in the long run.

Wish I had an answer for you to make it better, but since I'm currently on a leave of absence from work and was told my my POTS doc "you can't keep pushing thru everything and thinking that you can do everything like you used to", I obviously haven't figured it out myself yet. LOL :rolleyes: He told me I needed to pace myself better. So far I'm failing at pacing. LOL When I'm feeling bad, pacing isn't an issue because I "just can't" (and believe me I HATE using the word "can't"!!") but on the days I feel relatively ok, I don't even think about it because it's my nature to be up and doing as much as I can. Then when I "hit the wall" as far as energy I remember..."oh yeah, I was supposed to be pacing myself. OOPS".

Hope you feel better soon!!

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Thanks for the understanding, guys! I think a lot of my frustration is the lack of clarity between the school of thought that says "Just live your life and don't think about your symptoms, that's how people say they got better" and the one that says "Pace yourself, don't overdo it or you will crash".

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Abby, my husband and I just had that argument last night! he's a "push through it at all costs" kind of guy...I said, hey, I've pushed through it for 15 months and I have not improved, so can I take a step back, take a leave of absence from work, and try to start again. Kind of like learning to ride a bike....hang in there girl!

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