Feel Totally Betrayed By Doctor!!!

[lieze]

I don't know what to do...

For one thing I'm not sure how much my family doctor has helped me...the last time I was there the concepts I presented she said were over her head.

When I did have a bad allergic reaction a year ago she did not send me on to an allergist. It was after feeling like my throat was closing up after mashed potatoes that I said to heck with this Russian roulette-I'm taking myself to an allergist.

So I have had to advocate for myself.

[lieze]

The thing that has me upset is I went home tonight and was having trouble breathing...I asked my husband if we could see if our carpet cleaner works because odors and allergens often get trapped in carpet not to mention our cat has been peeing everywhere.

He said he'd had it with my lunacy...said I had multiple personalities and he had people in the community that would back him up....supposedly somebody I worked with that never knew what mood I would be in---I was like yeah??? The way things were at home I often went to work very upset and when things were going better I was relieved or cheerful not to mention I often got 4-5 hours sleep duh! Then he says my doctor mentioned something to him. Where she is concluding I have some type of multiple personality disorder I have no clue...he is not approved on my HIPPA form to discuss any medical information and for good reason because he is bipolar and making threats against trying to take our children.

I am furious!!!!

[lieze]

This is just crazy and I am so angry.

I want to fire her and sue her at the same time.

I guess you people are the only ones who would have a clue as far as what I have been through.

Prior to getting sick I worked full time for 20 years as a nurse and I always got superior reviews. My boss never once indicated there was any issue with my mood or behavior or anything psychological.

In fact any conversations I had with her about my husband and his bipolar episodes, behavior, and accusations against me she always backed me up and said it's not you-it's him.

Yes I was very rattled by what I was living with and I'm sure it was apparent and I didn't necessarily report everyday what was going on that was making me feel the way I was...in fact I felt like I talked about it too much and people probably didn't know enough.

So I worked and provided for my family and kept my job based on his continual threats of divorce so that if he did leave I would know I could support my family until I finally got sick and then you all basically know the drill-it's similar for all of u's.

Well I knew it was devastating for me to not be able to work-to lose that-it made me dependent on him.

Ugh!!!

What on earth made my doctor think that and of all people why did she discuss it with him?

[janiedelite]

From your previous posts, you mentioned that your husband has some mental and emotional problems of his own. I suggest you go get a copy of your medical records from the last few visits with your doctor. If you take issue with anything that is in them, you should get a new doctor. It sounds like you may need a new primary doctor anyway, if she's not willing to work with you to get you the help you need.

[lieze]

How do I go about requesting that?

I don't have any experience with this.

Another beef-when I went to the hospital with chest pain SOB and a heart rate of 169 was why I called the squad...I ended up having low potassium. She said she'd order labs for every six weeks well that was back at the beginning of June. Do I have to actually have a heart attack to be taken seriously cause I'd rather not.

[lieze]

And that whole work situation...there was so much stress there and gossip. I just kept to myself tried to go in and do my job and stay out of trouble.

There were many times I did not agree with things or whatever felt pressure or worried about the constant threats of budget cuts and I kept my mouth shut.

I think everyone in the building has mood issues-not many people are really happy there.

[potsyturvy]

It sounds like your doctor is the one with multiple personality disorder! jk. Wow. I wish I could say I was shocked to hear all this, but I've had similar experiences with my family doctor. First of all, obviously your doctor doesn't know much about psychology, because Multiple Personality Disorder is EXTREMELY rare... so rare that maybe 3 or 4 people ever have been confirmed of having it and even at that, there are doubts that they really had it. (I have a B.S. in psychology, so I'm not making this up or anything). Second, it would take many counseling sessions and tons of psychometric testing to determine that someone had MPD.

Next, that is ridiculous that she talked to your husband when he is not approved on your HIPPA form. If I was you, I would at very least write a letter of complaint or call and complain about that.

It definitely sounds like you need a new doctor. I understand where doctors are coming from with the psychology stuff. We all probably have some depression and anxiety issues with this, how could we not with dealing with a very misunderstood chronic illness? It is ridiculous though, when they try to blame all of our physiological problems on mental disorders that they do not even understand.

My family doctor tries to blame all my physical symptoms and diagnoses on depression. I quit having him refer me to doctors after he told an endocrinologist that he referred me to that it was depression and the doctor did not take me seriously at all because of that. I have seen four different counselors/psychologists since my symptoms started and after multiple sessions and psych evals, all of them told me that I had some minor depression and anxiety that was CAUSED by a medical/physiological problem and needed to see better doctors.

We all really have to be our own advocates since so many doctors don't take us serious or don't understand what is going on and try to blame it on other things they don't understand. I'm glad to hear that you went to an allergist on your own! I hope you can find a better doctor soon! Do you have any good support people around you? I know we all need all the support we can get going through all this. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

[lieze]

That was my gut feeling on that...that she has not even spent enough time with me for one to assess something like that. I think she is jumping to conclusions and the repercussions of her assumptions could be huge for me...like the custody of my children.

That angers me and hurts me to the core.

I have always felt a bit awkward socially but I try anyway...I don't think that constitutes a mental illness especially not one of multiple personality disorder.

[kclynn]

Umm... You really don't know that your Dr. said anything to him. He has BiPolar and has been verbally abusive to you, how do you know that he isn't just making that up to upset you? Could he think the Dr. said that too him? My point is did he say anything to you that only your Dr. would have known.

On the other hand from what you said, maybe you do need a new Dr.

[lieze]

You have a good point but what made me believe him was she also said something to me about him and she was basically dead on...she said there is only one way and it's his way and he isn't going to change.

I have confided in her that he is abusive that things are bad at home etc...so I would have thought even if she suspected something regarding me she would have not shared it with him.

[janiedelite]

Sounds like she hasn't really been helpful anyway. I suggested getting a copy of your records so you could see if she really thought you had a mental health issue. If you could get your husband to tell you exactly when the doctor spoke with him even when she wasn't authorized, you could make a formal complaint. However, I'm not sure what good that would do. I try to keep on good terms with my physicians, even the ones that I no longer see for various reasons. That good rapport can only be helpful if your new doc talks with your old doc or reads her notes about you.

Mostly, you need a doctor with whom you can have a good working relationship. Try to focus on advocating for yourself.

[lieze]

That's really good advice.

I have cooled off from the initial shock-I think that's mostly what I felt.

I don't think that I have MPD.

I think regarding allergy issues I'll see an allergist etc.

It would make sense why when I went with my stomach issues and she referred me to the GI doctor the nurse practitioner dismissed me so quickly and said it was just stress-that she couldn't do anything to help me/

I think she is writing right on her referral that everything is stress or anxiety related.

I think she's basically a dead end for me.

I don't think I will pursue discussing it with her because she may either deny the entire thing or refuse to discuss it.

I really need a POTS doctor who won't blow off my symptoms.

I noticed a tone to her voice when I did get my allergy results almost like I had went over her head but I was right there was something there.

Maybe it's not even her fault maybe we're just not a match.

I was shocked when she said my stomach issues did not sound like POTS because many of you here are dealing with the same exact thing.

She says she has some POTS patients but???

My nurse therapist said the same thing but in both cases I was surprised that based on that neither of these people were able to help me more or be more understanding.