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blizzard2014

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Everything posted by blizzard2014

  1. That is so true Pistol, but this is the second cat to be put down in 2 years. It is taking a toll on me.
  2. Thanks for the response. I know it has to be a slow gut, just hope it is more medicine related and not permanent. It does cycle for me as I had 1 full week of going to the bathroom full amounts 4 times a day and then being cleared out to eat normal meals. I mean normal as in a sandwich and some chips. What I ate last night was not normal at all. It was how I used to eat two years ago before POTS kicked in. I would get depressed and just eat and eat and eat the pain away. I had 6 cooked eggs, 12 pieces of bacon, 4 biscuits, and 2 large cherry turnovers. I knew it was going to come back to bite me and even said it to a family member. My cat is dying and I can't get the look of her wasting away not eating since last Sunday out of my head. I went and saw her again today and she is still in rough shape. If her blood work is not improving by tomorrow, they might have to put her down. She hates the vets and I didn't want her last days to be spent there, but she was suffering laying inside her litter box in pain all day on Sunday. I took her to the vet before work and they admitted her. She had already been there a few days prior to get blood work as she lost 3 pounds and was barely eating. Just drinking like crazy and peeing 7 times a day. I thought it would be thyroid or kidney, turned out to be a rare bone cancer Multiple Myeloma, that only 3 percent of cats ever get. A very rare illness. She was my support. But being as sick as I was earlier today, it might be easier if she is put down, because I cannot care for an animal in my current state.
  3. Pistol, I was almost ready to dial 911, but after the third round of barfing, I felt better and the level 9 pain was gone. I was thinking possible pancreatitis. I will try and get a better doc. All of this is way above my current doc's head. It wasn't a food virus. I would be still sick and dry heaving. I felt better once all that sour acid was out of my stomach. I'm sipping diet iced tea and managed to get my meds down 20 minutes ago. I also have huge amounts of stress as my cat is sick with cancer and might have to be put down tomorrow. That is why I ate so much food. I eat when I'm depressed, but my stomach cannot tolerate normal amounts of food any longer. I wish I had a lot of money and could just find a Dr. House type doctor. I can't even get 15 mins with my current doc, and he spends most of that time in front of a computer typing. I mostly diagnose myself and he give me meds.
  4. Well, after a week of almost completely normal stomach and bowel function, I started to eat like a normal person again. Earlier this morning, about 12 hours after the meal I ate, I was racked with level 9 pain in my entire abdomen. I was praying to God for help, tossing and turning, moving from the bed to the chair, back to the bed. I could not get comfortable and I could not go to the bathroom. Then I began throwing up all of my food. Undigested pieces of egg, bacon, and other stuff. I was still in intense pain, then threw up again, then when I threw up the third time a bunch of yellow sour acid came out. It burned my throat it was so horrid. I then felt a thump inside where my liver and gallbladder is and the pain finally subsided after three hours. I'm afraid to eat today, afraid to even take my medications right now. I don't want the misery to come back. I have never had pain that intense before. Now even longer since this morning, I'm still getting periodic food burps. The last time this happened was 2 years ago, but I threw up the food 1 hour after eating. I usually get this I have to throw up feeling, but most times if I wait it out and force going number 2, the nausea goes away. I don't see any other way that this could not be gastro, because 12 hours later food was still in my stomach. I just don't know if it is being caused by Clonidine and my pain meds, which can cause gastro-symproms, or if it is due to damage from diabetes or autonomic dysfunction. It is h*** to have this going on. Time to start living off of soups I guess.
  5. Nan, I would try for the disability first. If you end up getting the disability, you can do a work trial period where they won't take away your SSDI for 6 months or something like that. Also, if you do continue to work after your work trial period is over, and then eventually become too disabled to work again, you can restart your SSDI without going through the entire process from square one. You just start benefits back up straight away. I would try this method first. Sometimes I have days where I am barely hanging on, and last week I worked like there wasn't a single thing wrong with me (but only because I doubled up on pain medication). I only work 12 hours a week, just enough to pay my bills and buy food, moms gives me a free room to live in. I just pay for my food, clothes, medicine, and other stuff. I don't take a dime from her other than the free room and some electricity. That is what I would do since your hearing is so close. Don't blot it ad have to start all over again and wait even longer.
  6. People have been using Kratom for pain relief for years, and it is especially effective in stopping opiate withdrawal symptoms. Back when I was taking 6 Norco a day, and was physically dependent on them, I detoxed with Kratom and the withdrawal symptoms were very mild. Some people in the Asian countries use this medicine to detox from heroin. It has been banned in Thailand because people were using it to get high kind of like heroin. I don't know if it is a miracle drug or anything for medical illnesses, but it is a great pain reliever and a good alternative to using opiates. I just can't afford 25 bucks every three days for Kratom when my pain meds are paid for completely by my current insurance carrier.
  7. I can honestly say that Kratom is pretty safe as long as you are not abusing it. The worst that will happen if you take too much is you will get a stomach ache. It is great for minor to moderate pain as well and it can help reduce withdrawal symptoms when you detox from Opiates. I have never heard of it being used for anything other than pain relief, but I'm interested to hear about what it can do for pots. I still have a half of a bag of Red Bali strain in my cub board. I can send you a name of a very reputable online seller. I don't want to post anything on the open forum as it might be a violation of the rules. I don't use it anymore because it would cost me too much to control my pain. I need to drink it every 2 hours. I would go broke trying to chase my pain with Kratom. But it does have a very mild pain-relieving effect, kind of like taking Vicodin. I used to do the plug and chug method Darin. I would dissolve the Kratom in cold bottled water, then down a quick swig of it all; about the size of a teacup, then chug a few cups of iced cold bottled water to chase it down. Some people use gel caps to make taking it more palatable. It is nasty as heck though, like eating freshly cut grass lol, but if you can get it down, it works pretty good.
  8. I really should see my doc but he is of no use. He barely even listens to me. My Medicaid insurance is so cheap the doctor heard us in and out of the office like cattle. I really need a better doc to sit down with me and evaluate everything. I skipped insulin yesterday and everything was fine. Sometimes I just let the sugars stay all messed up. I'm not going to sit here and fine tune every low or high just to live an extra year or two. Something has to take me out. I just hate knowing that every BS high is killing me slowly. Today I am going to closely monitor my BP though and see if all is well. Most of this is a daily thing for me. My doc once suggested I have chronic fatigue, that is about as close as he has ever come to trying to explain why I feel so terrible, but no suggestions.
  9. I have an OMRON arm BP monitor. It usually is accurate unless the erratic HR symbol comes out. I think my HR was changing so fast that the machine could not get an accurate BP measurement out of me. Usually my doc's machine has me much higher in BP than my machine. Who knows. I'm just sick of all this stuff.
  10. All of my BP readings were taken while sitting down. So the high bounce was really weird.
  11. I have been having a rough time for the past three weeks. Too tired to even force myself to leave the house to see the doc's in between my three day work week. This is the second week in a row where I have not showered for almost 6 days, then clean up on the day I have to work and barely force myself to function. On Monday, after two hours at work, I wanted to lay down in bed it was that bad. I was suffering from fast heart rate, hot flashes, and sweating. I honestly don't know how I was able to force myself to work for another two hours. I had to sham some cleaning and leave an hour early for health reasons. For the last two days I have been having low and high blood sugars. I actually saw snow bright fuzz (like someone was shining a bright light in my eyes)in my vision for 15 minutes last night with a blood sugar level of 50. I have been having a fast HR, in the 100 when sitting for two days now. I can hear my heart pound in my ear a few times, then stop, then pound again. My BP monitor is showing the erratic heart rate symbol on almost every reading. My BP seems to be bouncing very wildly, or if not, it has to be a faulty machine. I was going from 117/80 to 130/95 then to 120/46, then 118/79, all within 5 minutes of one another, all with the erratic HR warning showing up on the BP monitor. My HR was dipping to 56 a few times today, then bouncing back up to 120 BPM. Everything is all over the place and I have been very lethargic and sleeping for many hours a day. It doesn't matter how much coffee or tea I drink, I am only able to stay awake for so long before becoming extremely lethargic and too tired to even sleep in a lazy boy. I feel like death and I am contemplating quitting my job again. I can barely fight this. I was doing well and then bam, three bad weeks in a row. Yesterday's episode started after I spent an hour in the kitchen cooking. This three week episode started after 2 hours of cleaning the house. So, the over-exertion has caused this. I had the 50 blood sugar last night out of the blue many hours after my insulin should have stopped working and then woke up today with a blood sugar reading of 200, and it stayed high all day, then hit 60. It seems like everything is out of whack this week. I hope it gets better. Any how, thanks for listening to me rant. My only question is can a BP monitor be that inaccurate?
  12. Thanks for the kk Thanks for the kind words Pistol.
  13. I have a panic attack every time I try and think how I will explain all I have going on to the new doc. I don't think I can do it in 15 minutes.
  14. The MJ is good. I just bought edibles and they are way too potent. I was high for 24 hours off 6 grams of chocolate edible. I will probably go to smoking one bowl every few hours if I ever stop this janitor job and just stay at home. There is no way I can drive while on that stuff. I can't even drive on more powerful pain meds like Methadone. I always take my pain meds 4 hours before I drive to work, then at work when I will be there for 4 hours. I never drive on the meds unless it is an emergency and leg is locking up and I am scared of not being able to make it home. Then I stay in the right lane and drive defensively. But on the weed no. I was never good on weed, even when I tried it as a kid. But the edibles worked so well I had to keep on reminding myself that I have a bad leg and to take it easy. My leg almost felt normal again. So many people are being cut off their meds. It really makes me feel for them. I never realize how much the meds are helping until I cut them down or stop them for seven days.
  15. Yeah. I too hope this crack down on chronic pain patients will end. I just lost my pharmacist again. Now I have to go and interview a new pharmacist and explain everything I have going on to them to see if they will actually fill my pain meds. CVS got to the point where every month I had to wait a week or two for them to supposedly get the scripts ordered. They gave me the run around and it was a big mess. I interviewed my current pharmacist and he actually hold the meds for me every month. He will not fill any scripts if only my amount is left in stock. I never have an issue and he never looks at me like I'm a junkie. Soon I will have to change GP's because mines will be retiring. Then have to explain to the new doc all these weird issues. I think I'm going to just tell new doc the meds I take work, don't focus on the reasons why, just don't rock the boat lol. I hate being a slave to doc and pharmacist. The medical industry straight up owns me now.
  16. I was wondering if any of you guys deal with chronic pain. I have been at war with myself for the past seven years over using 30-40 mgs of Hydrocodone per day for chronic pain. I have a waxing and waning pain in my entire right leg from blood clots that did not dissolve. My circulation is compromised and it can range anywhere at times from no pain at all to a level 7. Mostly, I have to lay down in bed when it acts up, as it becomes painful just sitting in a chair with my leg elevated after a while. Sitting in a regular chair for a few hours aggravates it just as much as standing does. I can stand up for almost five hours at a time now, as long as I am on pain meds. When I first tried to work, my ankle and foot would double in size from just 4 hours of standing. My leg still swells though after the 4 hour mark, but not as bad as it used to, then it feels numb and it hurts to even keep a sock on it. Lately I have been lowering my dose of meds and not taking any meds before bed. My leg gets so sore and starts to cramp after a few hours in bed, then it is so sore I can't even tolerate sleeping due to the soreness. I got up early today because of the pain. It was more of a deep soreness than a throbbing pain, but a lot of times it is a pressure type pain like my leg is going to explode. I woke up and took my meds and now my leg feels better. I have been living in fear for months that one day they are going to take my pain meds from me. I have managed to make it for 7 days without meds fighting the pain until I finally break down and relent to the pain. I have very little withdrawals, just insomnia, but mostly the insomnia is due to the pain and not necessarily stopping the pain meds. I have tried medical marijuana and it does work, but leaves me too high to function. I just wonder what is life worth when you're only able to survive because you are on a bunch of medications like Frankenstein to hold you together. Life without pain meds would be sheer h*** and I would be very miserable. But the way the DEA and CDC are coming after pain patients, it's just a matter of time before things get worse. Do you think it makes a person weak to be on pain medications for non-cancer type of pain? Just to get a respite from the grinding pain?
  17. I used to have a HR all the way up to 180 before I started on meds. I have pic's of those days. My HE would flux so much that it was hard to get an accurate BP reading. Now I still flux to like 115 sometimes and occasionally when my meds do not work I can go up to 145 when working and get dizzy. But that is only once a month these days. I don't push things though. I work at a very slow and controlled pace, so who knows what would happen if I tried to exercise. Last night my HR was going up 40 points for five minutes, then went down 20 points, then went back to normal and had no changes from sitting to standing all in the same 10 minutes. This POTS is a very strange thing sometimes.
  18. Yeah, you have to figure out what the cause of the POTS is. The number one cause of autonomic dysfunction is Diabetes. I have diabetes and this could be the cause. I have been having normal A1C levels lately, but I think that test is wrong. Yesterday I ate some Doritos and my blood sugar went up to 200 and then 45 minutes later it was 69 and I was going hypo. This always happens to me whenever I eat just carbs and then go to work, or do light moving around. I was not on insulin since the night before and it had already cleared my system. It is more of a reactive hypoglycemia. That is why I usually never eat before work unless it is just a piece of beef jerky. If I do eat carbs before work, I keep eating carbs every 2 hours to prevent the hypo. I have a new theory that brittle hard to control diabetes is from autonomic dysfunction. Any how, if it is not diabetes, then it has to be from another condition that can cause nerve damage, or pooling of blood in the legs, hypovolemia, so many different causes.
  19. Winter, you have hyper-pots right? Can someone with hyper-pots pass out on a TTT. I'm really going to start looking for the local university to help me out. I just get so darn burned out from my part time job that I don't have the energy to do anything towards finding a specialist on my days off. Maybe if I quit working again I can use the extra energy to get some answers.
  20. I went back to my old dose of meds .2 mgs of clonidine and 20 mgs of lisinopril. I had to lower meds a few weeks ago because my BP was dipping too low. Now it is dipping low again, so I an now on just under .2 mgs of clonidine and 15 mgs of lisinopril. I hope you are fine during the tilt table test. At least you're going to be getting some answers soon. Hang in there.
  21. I got the BP under control finally, but it's going a bit low when sitting. But it is 109/89 when standing. I can live with that. Was a bit tired at work though from the lower BP and almost couldn't finish my shift. I had to sham some of the work and then get home. I'm hurting all over now like I've been in a cage match with some MMA fighters. At least I have three days to rest now. That is the important thing.
  22. I have to slam expresso shots all day to stay awake. Without the coffee, I will be asleep all day. I guess the low oxygen is screwing me up too. One day I will try and wear the mask again.
  23. Mine was not spiking either, it was pretty much at 88 percent most of the night. But I was not on any BP meds when I had the sleep study done. Most of my events are hypopneas and they actually suspect it is upper airway resistance syndrome in my case. I will post my results if I can get them up on here.
  24. So, the SSDI judge pointed out the fact that I remembered three words that the psychiatrist asked me to repeat after the evaluation. I was having a better memory day that day and judge said since my memory was fine that day the psychiatrist was not credible and didn't know what he was talking about. Also stated that I was not acting depressed. Well, if I would have been all dramatic they would have said I was faking.
  25. I forgot to add that I also have fatty liver disease with a mildly enlarged liver. I can spin the big wheel of misfortune to see which one of these diseases will get me first lol. Here's the kicker, been dealing with anxiety and depression all of my life. They sent me to one of their SSDI doc's and he said I could not work. Diagnosed me with an organic brain disorder. Now, this was before my sleep apnea and other diagnosis to back it up and low oxygen could cause an organic brain defect. He said I had a GAF score of fifty. You can look up what global assessment of functioning score is. He said I was a very accurate historian about my conditions and that I was not exaggerating symptoms and that he felt I was very credible. But still got denied. My memory was behaving that day. There are days when I can remember a phone number or even numbers on a dollar bill with one read through. I can have a photographic memory. Then there are days at work when I can't even remember if I had mopped a certain isle and end up mopping areas two or three times because I can't remember what I did just 3 minutes earlier. The doc's never see me when my brain is not working. I was seeing a therapist in 2016, but she claimed I was over-playing my illnesses and playing the victim. I told her it took enormous amounts of energy for me to come in and see her and she just did not get my conditions. So, never again will I see the brain quacks. I hate them all with a passion.
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