So...I want to address some of the things in this thread...But I am really worried about being misunderstood or offending anyone...I hope that what I say will be received in the spirit of just me sharing my own experiences... And not as me making any judgments or implications for anyone else...I would never try to discourage any woman from motherhood. It has given meaning to my life in my most desperate times, the way nothing else ever could. But it is also the most physically and emotionally draining and exhausting thing that has ever happened to my body, directly causing me extreme harm, in financial, emotional, intellectual and physical ways, which I cannot overemphasize to anyone with chronic health issues. Pregnancy itself was so hard the first time, that I swore I would never do it again. Then I ended up remarried to a man with no kids who wanted them, and the second pregnancy was 100 times harder. Marriage and in laws and parenting are difficult in the best of circumstances. 25 years old, long distance, the word disability, and living at home with parents (and questionable boundaries about appropriate topics for family dinner conversation when you are not present), are all red flags for why I am glad to hear that you and your fiance are taking your time to prepare for marriage. However, I must also say, that the longer you wait, the more difficult pregnancy could be on your body, and the less energy you may have to parent an active toddler without family support. Family support will be very important when you have babies. Including in law support. We live far away from family, and my husband has to take a sick day to watch the baby when i have complex doctor appointments. I struggle with my mother in law but I could really use help. Try to see this from the mother in law's perspective. She doesn't want to see any of her kids struggling or stressed. The word disability is terrifying to a parent. My husband is taking all this very hard. I wasn't actively "sick" when we met and married. He needs time to process this, for example, yesterday I raised the idea of getting a handicapped tag for the car. He completely freaked out. Your mother in law needs time. And your fiance needs to stop raising the subject of your health status at family dinners when you're not there. Also. Please look into the genetics of how well your methylation pathways function before trying to conceive. I don't want to give formal advice, but my oldest is on the spectrum and I recently learned I have methylation mutations. Cerebral folate deficiency has been in the news just this week. I believe the connection is real. I wish you strength and positivity and a healthy marriage and healthy babies. You can absolutely handle it, with preparation, determination, and a huge amount of family support!