First, have you thought about what would happen if they actually treated you in the E.R? They are going to treat you with regular doses of vasoactive drugs. Drugs you are hypersensitive to. If you go in there with super-low blood pressure and they give you a full dose of dobutamine or something it might kill you outright. Even though it ***** to be treated like an idiot by the doctors, I think your situation is ideal in some ways. You get to sit in the E.R. under observation for a while in case something serious does happen, but they aren't treating you with medications that could be very dangerous. I can definitely relate as well. I seem to be in the exact same position as you - I've become progressively more sensitive to anything that affects the autonomic system, to the point where I can no longer drink a cup of chamomile tea or take even a quarter of a magnesium tablet without feeling like I'm going to pass out or die. My reactions are the same as yours: low or high blood pressure and heart rate in seemingly random combinations, loss of blood flow to the extremities, unable to move without making things much worse or starting to black out. I'm too scared to take much of anything myself, but if you feel like you need the pain medication I think lieze's idea has merit. E.g., I'm definitely getting the RDA of magnesium in my diet and that isn't making me feel terrible like a tablet would, probably because it's spread out over time. Plus, if you gradually titrate up, you can stop if you start to notice negative symptoms without getting a full blown reaction. I've found myself falling into the same attitude: "Why has God let this happen to me, why is everything going wrong?". In reality though, I think my situation has a lot to do with the unhealthy lifestyle I lived in the past, and without God's mercy I'd probably be dead already. I have to echo the other posters here, I believe He loves each of us unconditionally, even though we don't deserve it, and even though it may not feel that way at times.