daquinn

I know what you're describing and how frustrating it is. My SO who has POTS goes through this deep exhaustion as well. In fact, today it seems like she can barely put one foot in front of the other. We just came back from a trip to the Midwest, which was both physically and emotionally difficult so we know that at least part of her exhaustion can be attributed to that. At the same time, however, her extreme fatigue can come about for no apparent reason and hit her quite suddenly (like a ton of bricks, to use a clich?). I've gotten to the point where I can often (but not always) tell when it hits her as she gets very quiet, her voice actually becomes weaker and she withdraws into herself. I feel sooooo bad for her at these time, but know there is little I can do; usually, she just has to "ride it out" by going to bed early, isolating and/or reading. Unfortunately, this inexplicable exhaustion seems to be an unpredictable symptom of her illness. To her credit, she has learned how to deal with it in her own way, but this doesn't lessen her frustration, of course. Good luck in finding some means of coping that works for you. potshelper

And a lot of women are spoiled as well. I think it is less a gender issue and more of an issue of how we are brought up and what our expectations are of a partner. To varying degrees, we are all products of our childhood, no? Of course, I am simplifying here, but, in general, if a male child is not taught how to pick up and keep a house clean, in other words, if his parents constantly pick up after him, he is less likely to do so as an adult. I was fortunate in that my mother and father both expected me to be able to take care of myself and my own house as an adult. It's easy for me to do that now, thanks to them; of course, I'm a little OCD which doesn't hurt either I think what you are really upset about is that your husband is reluctant to change his behavior now that you are ill. And while I am sorry that this situation is causing you anxiety at a time in your life when you REALLY don't need any more, asking him to change is, well, a pretty big deal and may take a lot of time, love and patience on both sides. Someday, he will likely "get it." In the meantime, it might be healthier for you, in the short term, to adjust this expectation of him...easier said than done, I know. Good luck.