And a lot of women are spoiled as well. I think it is less a gender issue and more of an issue of how we are brought up and what our expectations are of a partner. To varying degrees, we are all products of our childhood, no? Of course, I am simplifying here, but, in general, if a male child is not taught how to pick up and keep a house clean, in other words, if his parents constantly pick up after him, he is less likely to do so as an adult. I was fortunate in that my mother and father both expected me to be able to take care of myself and my own house as an adult. It's easy for me to do that now, thanks to them; of course, I'm a little OCD which doesn't hurt either I think what you are really upset about is that your husband is reluctant to change his behavior now that you are ill. And while I am sorry that this situation is causing you anxiety at a time in your life when you REALLY don't need any more, asking him to change is, well, a pretty big deal and may take a lot of time, love and patience on both sides. Someday, he will likely "get it." In the meantime, it might be healthier for you, in the short term, to adjust this expectation of him...easier said than done, I know. Good luck.