In a way it is nice to see that others feel the way that I do. I need to vent..... I am not doing well this Christmas either. This Christmas has been very hard because I have spent the past 2 years so sick and hopeful for the "magic pill". Only to learn that it really doesn't exist. Then everyone in the house is so happy around me, i think that they really don't notice that i am here, in bed. I live with extended family. I am such a bother to them. I guess the realization that this coming year will be the same, more health problems, more sickness, more pain, more appointments. It is really hard to face another year of the same. Maybe I am still down because I spent most of November in the hospital. My "friends" were texting me and telling me when they were going to visit me in there, and they all just never did show, still havn't heard back from them. My family wants to take me to one of the family christmas suppers. I can't sit up for that long, plus it is squished and busy talkative people can bring on severe symptoms quickly. I don't know what to do. I am supposed to just "suck it up" when i am passing out or almost passing out, with severe chest pains, tachycardia, and severe nerve pain and crying. Fun, isn't it LOL.... I am not doing well this year and dreading the day. This is the first time in my life that i dread Christmas... Good luck to the rest of you, and Merry Christmas if you feel like it