I can't seem to control myself anymore, i think its the inability to control stress anymore. I don't know what to do. Here is what happened to me today.. My mother was taking me to the mall to help pick out my girlfriend a gift. The thought of going to the mall started stressing me out instantly. I am super self conscious since i look creepy in my mind being 5'10 120lb 22 year old male and just feeling awful about myself. I start talking to my mom in the car about gaining weight, i told her i was going to eat half a loaf of bread throughout the day. She said to me last time you ate to much you got sick you can't eat that much bread its crazy. I told her i wanted to try again because i don't have many options, but she kept saying i was crazy, this made me even more stressed out. My hope to gain weight from bread was squelched and i felt even worse. A migraine was starting to set in, my chest started hurting worse. And my ability to focus on driving was somewhat impaired. As i was driving to the mall i was telling my mother how i hated going to the mall and basically venting to her about how terrible i felt. Eventually i got so upset at her that i blew up and said i was going to take her home and do it on my own. So she said how i was crazy and why can't i just get over it or control myself, how i can't do this for my girlfriend, how i don't care about anyone and i'm selfish. While arguing with her it felt like i was going to have a heart-attack the chest pain got so bad, so i had to stop talking all together. The truth is my "positive" feelings of love and things are pretty much hard to relate too, i don't feel these positive emotions very much, or any emotion other than something depressing or physically painful. My hopes are very easily crushed by outside factors such as other people or my physical inabilities. What i don't understand is why people think i can control these feelings, as if i want to be miserable all my life. Can anyone relate, what can i do? i hate feeling sorry for myself it all just compounds and makes me hate myself.