" But now somethow i feel insecure again. I feel as if i need to manage my days at work on my own if necessary" I think its a good idea for you to work on your own, but test that when your sister is in. Then you can feel secure and reinforce your thoughts of independence. The reason you feel insecure right now is that your backuip won't be there. If you want feel to secure when she is not there it would require changing your standards from ( for example) If I need anything sis is here, to (for example) I'll lay down if I need too and I'll ask someone else to deliever papers, if I need too. A sense of humor can be a big help. Because I don't know if you could lose your job, etc I can only make poorly informed comments. However you are insecure and so you feel insecure, its necessary to redefine what is ok. The base line for taking a secure thought is, I am not going to collaspe mentally nor die. Hense the saying "its not going to kill you". Also you are currently bearing future issues, that never helps. Planing is good ,but anticipate a good outcome, anything elese will be a burden, good luck. Just for clarity , I am not saying go to work and expect everything to be fine. You have the power to decide, plan and act as you deem best. If you plan to stay home, anticipate a good result for that. good luck