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Sunfish

Back To Hospital Land

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Melissa--I hardly know what to write. I don't really know you at all, I have just witnessed your experience through the window you offer on DINET and your website, that I have looked at a few times. I do feel that DINET is a community, more than just a web-based forum, it is a community I cherish, and you have been a good part of the glue keeping us together, despite your huge challenges. I just want you to know that I deeply appreciate this and admire you. I am so sorry for all you have to endure with this rare condition. Thank you for sharing so frankly your full experience--this is a gift. I am thinking of you and wish you peace.

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Sorry to hear that you are back in the hospital world. I can say I understand. I was back in the hospital in Dec. this sepsis. I had to have my line replaced in while in the hospital, and have a PICC line placed finally two weeks ago I was able to get a new central line. I know how crappy it is to be there and worry am I going to make it out of this one. Why do I keep getting sepsis........ The bad this just like you I have to have a line more meds, and fliuds, or I will not be able to have any quality of life it a all.

I want you to know you are not alone, and I am thinking about you, and hope everything goes well, and you are back home soon! THinking of you-

Amy

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Melissa,

Thanks so much for sharing with us from your heart and for sharing truthfully. We love and appreciate you so much! Your perseverance and joy are such an example to us all and those are just 2 of your many wonderful qualities! My husband and I will be praying for you diligently.

Love you sweet Melissa!

Lisa

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You already know how much I don't want this to be your new reality, and also just how much I admire the way you are handling it... With grace, strong faith, and authenticity as always. You are a bright light for God, a terrific friend, and an amazing example in my life.

Love,

Kristen

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Oh sweet Melissa,

I've been avoiding this thread as I didn't want any more bad news..... because I love you so much. And now I've got tears running down my face. Your honesty and courage serve as an example to me and all of us. Heed dear Tearose's words. God has his time-not necessarily the same as your doctor's- and miracles happen everyday.

Your spunk, spirit and determination have been an awesome force of nature to behold. I feel so lucky to have gotten to know you. You have spent so much precious energy reaching out to so many, not just on this site. You've done His work and shined His light to so many.

I will pray that God holds and keep you in the palm of his hand until he's ready to bring you home. And, that he'll keep your parents, and all of us who love you, in his other hand.

Julie

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Melissa,

My heart and prayers go out to you God Speed! This may sound a little new age, but just try to visualize your body(or God or a warm, white light, whatever you prefer) attacking or dissolving the bacteria that's causing the sepsis. In you can muster the time or energy, focus on this frequently several times throughout the day. Also, you may want to focus on a time when you were perfectly well and healthy. Remember what it felt like, what you looked like. There is so much scientific evidence now that proves we have a profound influence over our bodies - positive visualization really does work. Our body naturally wants to heal itself. Our cells are greatly influenced by our thoughts and emotions. Our thoughts send out different chemicals in our bodies, and our cells receive and act upon them, which in turn influences our organs, immune system, nervous system, etc.

t's so easy to focus on everything that is going wrong, especially when the simple act of living takes such a tremendous effort. I admire you for facing the possibility of death and for maintaining a sense of humor and kindess through it all.

I know you must be simply exhausted from fighting this, both physically and emotionally. But as everyone else has suggested, miracles can and do happen. Hey little fish -- if you are not ready to quit swimming yet, then don't!! You have been an inspiration to me and hundreds of others on this board.

One website to check out if you have a moment http://www.brucelipton.com/store/biology-of-belief

You can read some excerpts from his book online.

P.S. Did you ever get my PM I sent about the use of L-glutamine against sepsis?

I pray that you are free from this sepsis very soon.

Sending so many hugs and healing thoughts,

Gena

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Melissa,

Hi, I know we don't really "know" each other, but I was saddened by all the struggles you have endured and are currently going through. I wanted you to know that I am sending you positive thoughts, and hope all is as well as can be.

I too admire your honesty and how you are able to deal with everything that has been thrown at you! I think you are stronger then what I could ever dream of being! You are a wonderful example of how to stay strong and deal with everything in stride and with great determination.

Thank you for all the help you have given me by being that wonderful example and your wonderful advice and help through the board!

Sending positive healing thoughts!

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just a quick update on the nitty-gritty from hospital land (aka saving the deeper stuff for later). yesterday had the port removed & the TEE (transesophageal echocardiogram) so between those two things and the accompanying sedation, a horrific headache come evening, and shoddy pain control i was fairly out of it and/ or in mega levels of pain all day. after a good night of sleep (i'm thankfully someone that - as long as pain is under control & people aren't actively waking me up every hour - can sleep relatively "well" in a hospital.) i'm doing okey dokey today with only minor pain around the site where the port was removed. as expected the TEE was clean (aka no infection hiding out in my heart valves) so now we're just playing waiting game until we can get clean blood cultures. they drew the first post-port-removal set this morning & will draw another tomorrow but they can't be deemed clean until 72 hours after they're drawn so that pretty much puts us in a hold pattern until at least monday.

:) melissa

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Melissa,

Just wanted to remind you I'm thinking of you. You have great strength and inner wisdom and I know you will do what is best for you.

Wouldn't it be nice if "solutions" were simple and life and death issues did not provoke such fear in people?

Anyhow, sometimes people, out of their need to dimish their own fears about life and death project solutions and expectations onto others. I wish you didn't have to experience any of that at all but if/when you do know that it's ok to keep what fits for you and toss the rest. Surround yourself what feels good and right to you because that is all that matters.

Love you,

Poohbear

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Melissa

Nice to see your update...I hope you can be made as comfortable as possible for the weekend. I was going to post more pics but my laptop is at the "doctor" as we try to figure out what is making my 1 yr old laptop act bizarre, but I digress.

My short attention span had to keep checking what TEE meant in your post..as I knew it wasn't "tee hee" as in giggle!

Glad you got through that deal.

Still thinking of you.

p.s. edit: Oops...found this photo..I did not take it but I hope you are getting around as good as this squirrel is in a few days.

Image.jpg

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Hi Melissa,

I'm glad that stage one has been completed, though sorry you had such a rotten day with pain. I'm wishing for a stable weekend for you and no bugs in the cultures so that you can get stage three under way asap and then back to your fishbowl!

all the best,

Flop

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Melissa,

Thanks for taking the time and energy to check in with us. I've been thinking of you all day. I'm glad to hear that things went fairly well and that the TEE was clean. I hope that the pain subsides and that you'll be able to rest well tonight.

Hugs,

Rachel

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melissa glad that things went well for you.. my prayers are with you always sweetie

love and hugs

linda

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Melissa I m glad to hear about the valves being clean...TG..:)~ As for the holding...time..I am thinking of you as everyone else...

Hope they are giving you some sleep as much as the hospitals can...we all know how that goes.

HUGS~B

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I hope your pain is under better control today, little fishy.

My wish for you is ... good stuff to watch on TV! (That's about all one can hope for in the hospital, is it not?)

Sending you hugs!

Amy

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Melissa -

Thank you so much for opening your heart and life to those of us on Dinet. These days "I do not exercise myself in great matters or in things too high for me" (Psalm 131) as a result of the dysautonomia so I cannot offer any great wisdom or encouragement. I, like others, know the desperation of living with uncertainties - and I am so sorry that you are having to experience this so intimately right now.

I shall be praying for you. May the source of the sepsis be identified and effectively treated, and may you will find comfort in all the sincere friends here in Dinet who truly value you. May God be with you, and may you have compassionate and knowledgeable nurses to attend to your needs.

God bless you, dear one. You are deeply loved by us, by your parents, by many many others, and by God.

CT

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hi there melissa,

thank you for taking the time and energy to let us all know how you are doing. i hope that, knowing how much you are loved by all of us, will help you in your fight. know, that we are with you in thoughts.

love,

corina :)

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Melissa,

I was soo saddened to see your post about being back in the hospital with Sepsis. I said a prayer for you last night and I will continue to do so, praying that you recover from the sepsis along with the complications.

I hope your blood work shows the Sepsis is gone. Also, hoping that the docs can get a new line in....Keep us updated...

Jacquie

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Melissa,

I have read your posts several times.

I believe we are "triune" (three-part beings). We have an eternal spirit who has a soul and dwells in the physical body.

When we accept Christ, our spirit man is with God. Things will continue to come at our flesh but our spirit man is strong

and protected. I know we all battle with fear but fear is not from God!

Physically you are in a very difficult situation. You handle it with such strength and grace.

God has his hand on you, Melissa. I know your faith in him is strong. He is your father who hurts when you hurt.

I pray for angels to be placed in the four corners of your room. I pray that they begin to heal your body as

you rest and comfort you always.

Amen and God Bless,

Dawn

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Guest tearose

I'm heading back to sleep but wanted to give you a quick hello melissa.

More good healing wishes and love go out to you.

oh, and non allergenic dust!

tearose

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