People Comparing Their Illnesses To Pots

[pat57]

wow,

Virginia.

Was she healthy at 26?

If she was, be sure to let her know that you wish you could say the same.............

[Rachel]

I'm so sorry, Adria. Wow, that goes beyond just annoying. "Profound lack of support and compassion" was a good way to put it. I pray that you'll have the strength to cope and remain positive and caring through it all.

Rachel

[Eli6596]

Virginia,

I am so sorry that you struggle with such a burden on top of your illness. It is easier to brush off insensitive comments from people who do not really know or love us. It is a deep stab when it comes from your own mother. As we grow older, sometimes we realize that our parents are not the people that we thought they were. I have gone through that myself.

I bet your mom's anger comes out of her fear that you will not be able to take care of her. She also probably does not want to admit that her child is really sick because as a mom it is hard to deal with such a thing. She must know deep down that you are sick if you were in the ICU. It is probably just easier emotionally to deny your illness. I suspect that no matter what you say, you might not convince her of your illness. Perhaps she is also dealing with her own inside demons telling her that SHE is lazy.

I know that anger devastates my POTS. I pay dearly if I argue with anyone. If you can, I would try to remain calm at your mom's insults and let her know that her anger is not helping her own illness or yours. I would stick to what you know is right about driving for your safety, your mothers and everyone elses on the road! Unfortunately, it sounds like you will need to look out for you because not even your own mother is not strong enough emotionally. Follow your instinct about what your body needs without outside useless, damaging chatter.

Know that I understand, and you are in my thoughts.

Karyn

[morgan617]

Adria,

My dad is just like your mom. When I called and told him my then 11 year old son had arthritis, his reply was that he (dad) was so much worse off and you want to hear about pain, well he could tell me about pain. Well, I had an 11 year with his kind of pain and he was late 60's. He just must always be worse than anyone, whether it's a cold, arthritis, headaches, you name it.

I gave up letting it get to me a long time ago. People set in their ways will never get it. We all want and need approval and validation from our parents, and sometimes it's just not forthcoming. It is not the child's bad, it is the parent's bad. The only thing you have done is get sick, and that's not your fault. The next time your mom says something, just tell her you are sorry you got her genes in the health department. Then let it go. Karyn is right, anger is so hard on a healthy body, let alone a sick one.

I do really understand this one and am sorry. Sometimes it is out of fear and sometimes it's just plain narcissim. Either way, it's no fun. My dad told me to "just not think about it" and it would go away. All I could do was laugh. Sometimes you just have to laugh sweetie....morgan

[Mrs. Burschman]

The nice thing is, you can come here and get your validation and understanding from us, because we really do understand!

Amy

[yogini]

Virginia,

I'm so sorry that your mom isn't being supportive. Most of us who are chronically ill are so grateful to our family members who are there for us. I feel indebted to my mom for taking care of me at my worst - and gulity that my parents had to put their lives aside for several months for me.

Unfortunately, it seems like your mom feels entitled to have you care for her. You shouldn't feel guilty if you aren't well enough to help her out - you need to take care of yourself. I know it's hard, but I hope that there are others who can pitch in and that you are somehow able to transition your relationship so that she doesn't rely on you so heavily. In any case, if you don't receive the understanding you need from your family, this is a great place for support.

Rita