Just Want Your Opinions: Disability

[LindaJoy]

Hi, everyone,

I just want to ask your personal opinions on something. Since my medical bills have become astronomical, my husband and I visited our county's Job and Family Services. We spoke with the rep who helps with home health care and nursing home placement. We were hoping to get a medical card for me so that I could get help with my medical bills and help at home. Sounds good, but here's what's keeping us in limbo about going ahead with it:

One, we would have to spend a lot of our money so we don't have quite so much cash, which is fine, but we have to put it into our house or something, not pay bills with it, which we have a lot of medical bills left to pay from last year. I told the lady this, and she said, "Well, you won't need the money for medical bills; we'll be paying your bills." Yeah, the new ones, but not the ones from last year, from CCF, Mayo and our local hospital, thousands of dollars worth. To me, this seems like a waste of money.

Two, I'm not allowed anything in my name: car, house, checking or savings accounts, etc. Everything we have would be in my husband's name only. Also, if I do happen to come into any money, through inheritance, etc., they would take my money and give it to my husband. I'm not allowed anything, period. I have one IRA, which I got after I quit my last job. It's not much money, but I have it kept back so that if I die, John has money for my funeral and a little something left for each of my kids. It's all I have in the world that's actually mine. The lady said I have to sign it over to my husband or buy my funeral with it, now. What a sweetie.

Three, our cars, which are both very old, are never to be too nice. Period. If one of our cars dies, we have to buy a used, not to nice car again.

Four, my husband's insurance still has to be used firstly, to pay medical bills, then medicaid would pick up the rest. I was hoping I wouldn't have to use my husband's insurance at all, to get away from all of the hassles which are only adding to my stress. But, noooooo.

I just don't know that getting a medical card is worth practically becoming a non-existent person and non-partner in my marriage. They'll only be paying a couple thousand dollars a year, if that. Is it worth it?

What do you all think? I already do not own either of our cars, so that's no big deal, and I only just got my name on John's house title (yes, I moved into his house after our marriage--it's never really felt like my home) last year, so coming back off is no big deal, except we have to pay to have that done, but to not even be a partner on our bank accounts? Maybe I'm too prideful, but I think this whole thing is asking too much. Again, what do you all think?

Thanks.

LindaJoy

[Tammy]

I would feel the same way you do about it. I never understand how all those aid type programs work. Why they won't let you pay your medical bills from last year is just rediculous! I can relate with that my brother was born with cebral palsy and I remember when he was 18, the high school he was at, suggested he apply for disability, but my parents refused to access the information due to how it could control his life in some ways - they were more worried about they type of medical help he would get through state aided insurance but also to have to deal with reporting how any sort of funding would be spent would have been more stress on my parents than what it was worth -so to speak. My mom was at home with us kids and dad was a janitor so they definitely could have qaulified but by choice, as like you stated, it sometimes isn't worth it but it's a tough decision to make. That was over 20 years ago but from what you have noted, sounds like not much has changed. I think if it got to a point where if you didn't get this help you'd end up on the streets, all the loss of individaulity and independence would be understandable and more acceptable.

Well I hope this all makes sense. Having a really bad day so sometimes it affects how my train of thoughts go together!

- Tammy