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I Greatful But At The Same Time Want To Cry


dizzygirl
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I realize that what i am about to post.... that I should be very thankful for.. as i know alot of folks here are in the same boat that i am in..

WHile i have been in limbo now for 9 months or so about long term in home care.. the ball finally really got rolling.. I ve met with a coordinator thru a program here in the town i live in... and then today. a lady from the well Im not sure where she is from.. But she is in charge of doing evals and assements to qualify folks for either Normal in home care or nursing home levels of care...

well after going over what my pcp submitted and meeting and evaluating me.. she said that I qualify for..(cant think if waht she called it).. she said that i qualify for a nursing home level of care... that if my doc really pushed the issue that I would be eligible to placed in a nursing home where i'd could recieve 24 hour care..

i was like holy crud!!!! i told her there is no way on god green earth that anybody is puting me a nursing home.... that is just nuts...

I told her that she's have to bring all the care and services to me first.. and id have to be ALOT worse then i am now..(which isnt that great)...

But she was being honest and explaining to me what this stuff meant.....

Good news being that there is no way now for me to get denied services.. which i am very very greatful for.. b/c im barely keeping my head afloat...

I know that you all would understand my mixed emotions on this subject..im extremely greatful.. but deeply sadened at the same time b/c i know that my level of function has decreased greatly... and I am a very independent person.. so it has been particularly hard for me to ask.. let alone accept help.....

thanks for listening

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Guest tearose

I'm sending you my warmest wishes for only the best choices and decisions to come your way!

I also think big decisions need time for considering all options.

Take your time and then you will be confident in what you do.

take care, tearose

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I'm so sorry your eval was depressing - but I am very glad you are going to get in-home services! They should make your life better!

Maybe with the extra help you can manage to get a little rest.

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Oh yes i am extremely greatful for the help that i will be recieving.. it was just kind of like one of those moments .. where you cant believe that you are at this point.. its amatter of accepting what has come my way..

deal with it

grief with it.. (as i feel likeim having to give up more. does that make sense?)

and then move on.....

while the eval was depressing... i am greatful so very greatful for some help coming my way...its a mixed blessing kind of thing....it will be nice to have a cleaner apartment.. not that im a dirty critter.. just an exhausted cant keep up dizzycritter!

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Hey Linda,

I'm glad that you can get the in-home help. IF it were ME, I would also try the in-home help, before ever thinking about going into a nursing home. Maybe with this help you are going to be getting at home you'll have a little more engery then you do now?!? Hopefully... anyhow, I can understand your feelings and where you are coming from! :)

Jacquie

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Sorry to here about everything. I hope you are able to find whats going to work for you. I am still learning to deal with the fact I have a home health care worker once a week. This week twice, but I just want to do everything myself, and I feel like I am losing control, I can't even begain to know what it would feel like for you. Just hang in there!!!! I am thinking about you!

Amy

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I can understand your mixed feelings. I'm glad the powers that be are taking you seriously, and I'm glad you're getting the help you need, but I can imagine it would be a kick in the gut all the same. I hope the help not only keeps you independent, but frees up a little energy for living your life.

And I know what you mean about being an "exhausted can't keep up critter". I've had house guests spontaneously offer to clean my apartment for me. :) (I took them up on it, of course!)

spike

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