Feeling Okay.....until

[cardiactec]

Hi all,

I have been doing okay for the most part.....i can at least work part-time. my job requires minimal standing.......i usually dont have to stand longer than 20 minutes at a time and i feel fine with doing so.........my body totally psyches me out though because when i go into a grocery store in particular, where i'm standing for 30-45 minutes, i get so sick!!!!!!!! i was feeling fine when i went in to the store, even had just taken a beta blocker (my second afternoon dose).........after 30 minutes it started to happen.........dizzy, light-headed, nauseous, weak in the legs, short of breath............i was miserable. my mom was with me and luckily there was a bench in the middle of the store and my mom said "here's a bench, sit down, that is why the bench is there"........i was so angry at how i was feeling that i literally yelled out, heh, as an elderly person walked by, "no mom, this bench is here for 85 year olds to sit down on, not 24 year olds!".........

i dont understand how i can feel pretty good at work with standing, but the added 20 minutes of standing at the grocery store sends me into COMPLETE sick mode!

does anyone else do okay, for the most part, with 20-30 minute standing but then find themselves ill ill ill with more than 30 minutes? perhaps it is because in the grocery store you are stopping a lot and just standing still to look at items and when i'm at work i'm moving more?? ya think?

this is so frustrating.....i started crying after i left the store.....i saw a woman, an elderly looking woman, in a motorized cart, and i feared that would be me sooner than later..........i know some of you already have had to go to that extreme to manage your symptoms ...................and i feel for you...........

i'm so depressed over this condition....i try not to let it get to me but it literally is robbing me of my life.........i saw one of my high school friends yesterday, now happily married, with two kids.......and i couldnt imagine physically trying to manage children with pots, trying to have a relationship with a husband with pots.........i cant even do what i want to do for work because of pots..............so i sit, 24, alone, no husband, no kids, no job that i so desperately want.......one thing after another, it feels, to be plucked off the list of things i wonder i will never have, all because of pots...........i spent a whole 3 minutes trying to play with my friends two year old and after only 3 minutes, i was completely wiped out! ........i hate to complain so much........i know there are some of you who cant even work.......i should be grateful that i can at least work, even if it's not doing exactly what i want to do career-wise...........

sorry to vent. just feeling miserable today after such a hard day yesterday..........

[futurehope]

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this at a young age. It is frustrating beyond belief to feel older than you are.

And, there is no way I would ever stand in a grocery line for 20-30 minutes if I can help it. If I must, I lean over the cart with my leg up on the rung of the cart, but like I said, there is no way.

I usually go when there are less people and go for less items or take my husband and sit on the old-lady bench. There are many times I've sat on the bench or gone to the car and reclined.

Yep. It's a pain. But that's the way it is. I can understand how you feel. I'm sure many of us can.

[cardiactec]

thanks futurehope,

i caught your signature out of the corner of my eye, "i can do all things through christ who gives me strength". this is so true yet sometimes hard to believe. FAITH is so important to have through such trials. it was never promised that this road would be easy, but faith, that little tiny mustart seed faith, can carry us through it all, to triumph.........

thanks for the reminder through your signature of the strength that never fails, even when mine/ours does.

[sjprice23]

I understand completely!!!! I am only 25 (24 when the symptoms started) and I was already older/more mature for my age, now even more so since all this started. And to your comment about having kids/husband...the husband/boyfriend thing is much easier than the kid thing, I'll tell you that! I know there are many here that have their own kids and although manage somehow, do have trouble keeping up with it.

I have a boyfriend whom has 3 young boys!!! It's not easy to take care of them when they are over (only part-time). They are boys, they are young, and they are VERY full of energy. Over the recent months I have explained to them, as much to their understanding, that I am "sick" so at most times when my bf is not there to step in, they will have some degree of understanding to settle down or relax a little. I have become a second mom to them so they understand completely that I have authority over them and that they have to listen or they will be punished, but it is very, very difficult physically to take care of them. Most of the time the only thing that keeps me going is that they are young children and they need to be cared for, not only cared for, but loved (becasue they're real mother is somewhat of "trailer trash" ~ I hate saying that, but its true ~ so she doesn't care for them the way they should be cared for). So, I trudge along each day they're here and I think I'm on auto-pilot when it comes to physically doing things and even mentally/emotionally caring for them (which is the most frustrating for me), but it gets done, and they don't notice the difference. One good thing that has come out of it is that the oldest one of the three has learned to be more of a good example to the younger two than he probably would have because I have made him understand more about my condition than the younger ones and have talked with him face to face about being responsible for his actions because they directly link to those of his younger brothers. And because of talking with him, I have noticed a huge difference in his behavior from helping the younger ones be more quiet more often to just plain over all behaving like sweet little boys instead of tearing through the house like its a jungle gym (which is what their mother lets them do).

Why did I go into so much detail about this part of life? Because in my opinion, the kids part of life is the hardest thing to do out of all the things you've listed Cardiactec since it is a 24 hr/day job. Children never stop needing in some way or other. And all the rest is in my opinion, much easier, although, obviously, not "easy" in laments terms! Because its still a struggle everyday for me to keep the relationship with my boyfriend a good one (despite what he says that he loves me more than anything and is here for me no matter what my health ), and I am still not working, but am trying on that last one to figure out a way to bring home money!

So, keep your head up, and use that bench in the store!!!! I'm jelous, my stores don't have benches! Use it for me at least if not for yourself!

~Sarah

[cardiactec]

thanks sarah!

haha, i'll use the bench for us both! )

hang in there yourself with the three boys! wow, what a handful. you are so right, children never stop needing........it's not their fault, it's just their nature. hopefully one way i will be well enough to have my own.......but no rush on that!

sometimes i wonder if i would be too much of a burden on a guy if i ever got involved romantically with him, but ya know, if he truly loves me, just as your boyfriend has proven to you, he'll stick by me - care for me when need be........hey in sickness and in health, right? that's true love, and true devotion......it's still hard though not to feel sorry for yourself and think you're a burden to others, but i bet i can ask a bunch of my guy friends who would never think of me as being a burden to them with my physical limitations........sometimes i think our biggest critic and biggest monster to face is ourself and the untrue thoughts we have and believe, always listening to what we feel about the situation or circumstance instead of what the reality of the situation/circumstance is. i'm sure there are guys/people who probably wouldnt stick around to have to deal with the medical issues of a girlfriend, but those are the ones that most likely are just looking for one thing??? )

[mom4cem]

Hi Cardiactec,

I work part-time in the school during lunch. For 2 hours I stand and walk around. I usually feel miserable after. I'm not running, just standing and walking around a bit. It takes a while for my heartrate to go back down once I sit, or I feel so hyper by the time I get to my car and leave that a full blown tachy episode happens.

Does not matter how much I drink, if I take a beta blocker before, if it is going to happen, it happens.

Hang in there. As for men/guys, that's right , if they are worth anything, they will stick with you through thick and thin. I was o.k. when I met my hubby but a year into being together I started with palpitations, found out I had mvp. Some gyno problems, dealt with that, and for the past two years now,(we have been married 14 years) with tachy, chest heaviness, and all the other symptoms, and he is still here. (and we have three kids).

There are good ones out there

[lalalisa]

I wish I had something helpful to add...I just wanted to say that I'm right there with you on the bench in the grocery store. The other day I met a lady who was 101 years old! We were both resting on the bench while someone else stood through the line to buy the groceries.

It is hard feeling so old/tired out at such a young age - that's for sure!

Lisa