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Horrible Experience!


Dizzy Dame
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Hi all,

This afternoon when I came home from the grocery store, I found that every last handicapped space was taken. The only available parking was quite far away from the building and it's hot out today so I knew I was in trouble. That's when I spotted a man and a young woman walking away from their car that they'd just parked in a handicapped spot. I noticed he didn't have a placard so I rolled down my window and asked him if he would move his car, since he wasn't disabled and I needed the spot. He answered that he was just running in for a second and would be back out very shortly. I told him that was fine and I'd wait for him and take his spot when he returned.

20 minutes passed and he finally came back out to move his car. At this point I was seething for having to wait so long for a parking spot, so I rolled down my window and asked him (in an angry tone) what took him so long, and that I've been waiting for the spot for 20 minutes.

"f*** you b***" he responded and continued to curse at me violently as my boyfriend pointed out that I was in a wheelchair and that we really needed the parking. Then he treatened to "push me out of my f***ing wheelchair"! He got in his car and drove away.

I called the police and told them what happened but they said there was nothing they could do. In the meantime, my heart's still racing because of the event. I've never been talked to like that before...and he really was acting like any minute he was going to come over to my car and hurt me. It was terrifying.

I can't belive that someone would act that way, especially because he was very much in the wrong, and he should have been apologetic...not agressive. I wish there was something that could be done, but I don't think there is. I guess if I see his car in handicapped again, I'll just call the towing company rather than being nice and waiting for him to move.

Thanks for letting me vent.

-Lauren

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People can be so insensative and nieve at times. My parents had the exact same thing happen to them. My brother is completely disabled since birth and they have a van that transports him with a handicapped license plate and wheelchair lift. They were parking in a handicapped spot which was the last one there and a car pulled up behind them blocking them in and the guy gets out and threatens to ram their van because he wants the spot and he wasn't disabled in any shape or form!!!!!! My parents are in their 80's and take care of my brother and do the best they can. I just don't understand people sometimes, so I understand your venting and irritation.

Tammy

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Yep...People are aweful. My mom was at stop and shop and i was sitting in the car with the a/c on in a handicap spot (my mom is legally blind) and 2 older women shook their heads at me and one was even going to report me!

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Poor sweetheart, that's terrible. I would just pity the guy's ignorance- terrible that people can go about like that in this day and age. If he treats everyone like that, eventually he will get his comeuppance! Cheer yourself up with my story about another bad driver of a different sort on chit chat...

Keep smiling, go and have a nice hot bath and relax!

Know that we are all totally backing you and behind you and that that moron was just an arse!

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We get an awful lot of that in the UK to, so many people just ignore the disabled signs and park as they feel fit , not only this but when we have found a disabled parking space , get parked and got out of the car to get our sticks sorted ,people have come right up to use ( as we limp and struggle to walk away together ) and ask ' are you disabled '???

when they can clearly see a zimmer frame ,a huge first aid kit ,a small portable oxygen bottle & mask in the boot ( just in case )

'no mate I like using a stick and having morphine patches stuck to me for fun ' :)

But worse than this my hubby ( he has only one full arm/hand as he cut the other hand off in an accident years ago) was stopped in the street once by an elderly man and his wife who said to him looking him up and down 'people like you shouldn't be allowed out ' he was so shocked he didn't know what to say , he was dressed in jeans and a tee-shirt had short hair and was clean and smelling lovely ( aftershave mmmmmm nice ) :angry:

I do get so cross when out and about that people just stop and stare at us , we both use sticks , have two heads, tentacles coming out of the top of them and are bright green all over..................well you'd think so by there stares!!!!

Willows

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That is horrible :rolleyes:

There is a program that the local police department here every once in a while runs an ad for in the local paper. It is to recruit people to train them to look for and write out tickets/or to photograph the car and license plates of people illegally parked in handicap spots.

It is volunteer and I am so tempted at times to take the course. I don't have the need for a disabled space but it burns me when I see someone pull up and park and have no card hanging from the window. I understand some have disabilities that you cannot see, all well and fine, have the card hanging, otherwise anyone can say they have a disability and park.

People are just becoming more rude and violent as time goes on. Scary.

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Shoot! I should have taken a photo of his car illegally parked in that spot! Oh, well. Best not to think about it now...

Thanks all for your support and warmth! People are becoming more violent as time goes on. I can't imagine what was in that man's head when he threatened me. He must have felt so big and strong threatening a disabled girl in a wheelchair! :rolleyes:

But I guess there was a lesson for me in that expereince as well, I'm not strong enough to defend myself if someone attacks me, so I best be on the defensive at all times. I shouldn't have confronted him, even if his reaction was unwarranted and outrageous. Next time, I'll just call the police and let them sort it out.

Hugs,

Lauren

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lauren,

i am so sorry that this happened to you, and all the others who shared their stories. people can be really mean!!!

when i was still able to drive i once was told that i didn't have the right to park at a handicapped place bcause i "didn't look handicapped"!!!! i was so shocked that all i could do is show them my parking card. nowadays (although i don't drive anymore, but people keep looking when my husband parks our van) i say: well thank you so much for complimenting me, you really made my day! that usually makes them speechless.

i do know how awful you must feel lauren, but i do hope you'll get over this soon. these kind of people aren't worth thinking about,

corina :rolleyes:

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My gosh...sorry the guy was such a jerk and spoke in such a vulgar manner.

I never ask about the parking spaces...so many are used up anymore...before I got my sticker, there would be lots of empty ones.

But folks are scarey and since I don't look handicapped to others, I would be afraid to challenge somebody due to the situation you encountered.

Sorry this happened and shook you up.

Hope you are able to shake it off.

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Thanks Sophia, Calypso and Corina,

I guess "fortunately" I do look handicapped because of the wheelchair...although when I don't use it I definitely look normal...I don't walk in a particularly funny way, and aside for turning white as a sheet, I look like I'm not disabled. Yesterday, however, I was in the wheelchair, so my disability was really obvious.

I've decided that the guy must have some sort of mental instability. I just can't think of any other reason he would threaten me. I really wasn't being confrontational, and although I sounded angry, I didn't raise my voice or anything that could set him off. I just think he has some kind of mood disorder.

The apartment building manager called me a little bit ago and told me that they found out who he was and he'll be issued a warning. If he threatens me again, he'll be evicted. She also apologised that I had to go through that whole ordeal, and told me they're trying to "flush the scum" from my building.

Hopefully I'll never see that man again, but if I do and he's combattive, at least I know that there's something I can do about it.

Hugs to all,

Lauren

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Hi, Lauren,

Chiming in late here but wanted to express my sympathy for your situation! <shakes head> good grief! ppl can be so mean!!! how awful!! i am so glad you are "mostly" OK! i personally believe we are living in a Society of Non-Accountability sometimes....it seems no one has to be responsible for the consequences of their actions, or wants to be....they can just fly off the handle as they please! it also seems to me some ppl are "addicted" to rage. it's a personality defect, a lack of moral fiber, and *definitely* mentally unbalanced!

it is a shame that anyone has to be the victim of such behavior (and worse) but especially when unprovoked and arising from true need on the part of ppl like us who NEED the parking space, the wheelchair, the extra time.......

i mean really, would it have killed the guy to show some courtesy? or anyone for that matter! ???

again, i am glad you've held up through the experience "pretty much" OK.

(hugs)

lulu

:)

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If someone without a placard is using the handicapped parking space, and you have a cell phone, just call the police. Don't talk to the person. Anyone who would use the space when they don't need to is a sociopath.

A friend of mine has a below-the-knee amputation, and sometimes people question whether she should be using the handicapped space. She just lifts up her pants leg, shows the prosthesis, and thanks them for helping to make sure that the space is reserved for people who need it.

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We went to the doctor and of course the handicaps are always full there, but there was one we saw that expired 2 years ago! I wish I had thought to call the police. it's a huge fine here for parking in handicap zones.

People stare at us, till I get in my chair, but i don't get dirty looks anymore. But the amount of morons out there is incredible.... :)

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I would have been extremely upset too. I have had bad experiences about handicap spots too, but nothing that bad. When someone is that nasty, I think it means that they must be miserable and disgusted with their own life. Happy, contented people don't treat other people like that.

Your experience teaches me that I will not confront people in the future verbally. Your experience reminds me of the evil in this world that exists. I could not defend myself either. The police in my town are eager to respond to complaints in general. Some people will never change their inconsiderate behavior until it hurts their pocketbooks, not their conscience. They are too self centered to care about anyone else but themselves. I pity them, so that I can dampen my anger. I try not to give them any of my power by letting them upset me....for too long.

Karyn

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Karyn,

I agree with you about those kind of people being miserable with themselves. I do feel that most people in this world are good, and are willing to help out their fellow man in a pinch, however there are those "special" few who are selfish and don't seem to know or care about right and wrong who ruin it for the rest of us. :angry:

I actually saw that guy in the elevator this morning on my way to a doctors appointment. I was so terrified that I "ran" away (well, walked as fast as my POTSy butt would carry me). I'm terrified I'll run into him again...I'm not sure what to do about that. Hopefully he'll move out of the building or something.

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How uncomfortable to have to see the jerk again! Do you think he even remembers or recognizes you? Perhaps he treats everyone like he treated you, and so the event does not even stand out for him?

Showing fear around aggressive people can sometimes make them more animalistic. I would show calm if you can muster it. I love to dazzle harmless jerks with a big smile and hello. They are completely shocked and speechless. If I think the jerk could physically harm me, I avoid eyecontact and ignore them.

If it was me, I would buy mace to put on my keychain for that guy. It would give me a sense of security even if I never need to use it. I think that they are legal. They sell small ones about the size of a cigarette lighter. (No, I don't smoke). I used to carry one a long time ago when I lived in a much bigger city. I would not carry one myself now because I have young children who might get into it.

I hope these ideas help. Hopefully he will default on his rent and get kicked out.

Karyn

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