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Aug 2004 I Closed My Eyes


DSM3KIDZ
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August 23, 2004 I closed my eyes and went to sleep happy and healthy. Aug 24, 2004 I opened my eyes and my life has been forever changed. What happened in those 8hrs I will never understand.

I close my eyes every night real tight hoping that when I open them it will be Aug 24, 2004 and this is all just a bad nightmare. When I open my eyes in the morning and realize nothing has changed my heart aches and I search for even the smallest improvement but none have yet to be seen.

When will I get my life back? Will I get my life back? Maybe I'll never know but what I do know is that I have done everything I could to make myself feel better and still have no success. Now it's out of my hands and I'm writing this to let everyone know that from this day forward I have to just let it go.

I have to accept my life the way it is and try to "bloom where I've been planted". It is definitely going to be the HARDEST thing I have ever done.

At least now when I go to sleep I can close my eyes and know what to expect when I open them this way I no longer have to have my heart broken over and over again.

Thanks for listening

Dayna

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Guest sonotech

Dayna,

I really enjoyed reading your post, but I am sure that it is really hard for you to accept the change. Sounds like you are still trying to convince yourself that you are "ok" with your "new" life.

I think that it is ok to NOT be ok with your new life, but to just learn how to cope/deal with it. I think a situation like YOURS must be more difficult than someone like me. My dys symptoms progressed over many years and has gotten worse each year.

I cannot IMAGINE going to sleep fine, and waking up the next day afflicted with this illness....it must be a shock!! I really hope that because of your sudden onset that you may have a higher chance of a full recovery. I think that you must continue to have hope for a full recovery, and never lose that hope!!

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sounds just like me except the date was August 1, 2004... i went to sleep in my rack, then i woke up August 2, 2004 at 0500 went to pt (physical training), came back for a quick shower and then to a promotion ceremony. that is when my life changed, just before breakfast.

i am still trying to convince to myself that it is okay and all i have to do is "adapt and overcome" like the marine corps tells/taught me.

dionna :)

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