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"you Don't Look So Good"


dawn
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Hi,

I am so tired of hearing "you don't look so good" from my family ALL THE TIME. Every morning, when I get up from a nap, when I'm just sitting watching TV. I mean DUH!!!!!!!!! I look like I feel. I have told them that I am aware how I look, we do have mirrors. I know I am pale and my eyes get that sunken look.

I know they are just concerned but you would think they would be used to it by now. Yesterday I put on ALOT of makeup and then I heard, "you look better without makeup." I give.

Anyone have similar experience and what is your response?

Dawn

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Hi,

I am so tired of hearing "you don't look so good" from my family ALL THE TIME. Every morning, when I get up from a nap, when I'm just sitting watching TV. I mean DUH!!!!!!!!! I look like I feel. I have told them that I am aware how I look, we do have mirrors. I know I am pale and my eyes get that sunken look.

I know they are just concerned but you would think they would be used to it by now. Yesterday I put on ALOT of makeup and then I heard, "you look better without makeup." I give.

Anyone have similar experience and what is your response?

Dawn

Hi Dawn -

My next door neighbor stopped over today and started getting the same "helpful" comments that I'm sure my dad got along the way. I kind of got mad but bit my lip. I don't think there is any quick effective response, unfortunately.

I know from before I got sick, watching my dad's progression from the other side, it just never made any sense- I always thought there was more my dad could do, or he was focusing on his non-specific illness and he just needed to get out more, be more social. Trust me - its so hard for healthy people to comprehend that there isn't a lot to be done in this no man's land between disease and health - they just think you should do something more.

If you could say "it's because I have MS (Lupus)", I think they'd stop offering advice.

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I have days my mom or sisters (who I don't see that often, but speak with on the phone) might say my color is bad. But when I see people in general it's GEE YOU LOOK GOOD?? when I am feeling like crap and heading for the nearest comfy chair or couch?!

Cripes, a ton of well applied makeup, I guess I do look 'good.'.

Most of us suffer from the INVISIBLE disabilities defense. If it weren't for my weight loss over the years, nobody would guess I was ill.

Folks can say all sorts of things "well meaning" but I think most would rather worry about somebody NOTICING WE LOOK LIKE WE FEEL..and many would pay money to have loved ones hovering over us waiting on us hand and foot.

THank God I have a very, nice room mate who has known me for years and seen my progression. Usually I SOUND BAD on the phone on my rough days.

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Hi,

I have the opposite problem. People keep telling me how "healthy" I look and that upset me because I know that I can faint within seconds. They tell me how energetic and full of life I am.

My hematologist even told me last week that he can't understand how come I am not depressed with alll that is going wrong with my body!

Personally, I would rather people tell me I look sick because this is the way I feel all the time. I feel my body is betraying me by making me look good when in reality I am sick.

I am glad that my medical proves it.

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All I usually say is "Well, thanks, I don't feel so good either." People tell me I wear too much makeup (Ok- boys tell me), but I wear it to hide the racoon eyes and the pallor, and when I tell them that they usually shut up about it.

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"Oh, I'm sorry I don't look good.... But it's a good thing I look better than I FEEL!"

It has happened, especially since, a lot of times, when I'm on a downturn, I am really pale. But most of the time, it is more of hearing how good I DO look...... Which I find harder to deal with.

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oh my gosh.....

am laughin my butt off @ some of your replies.....

thanks!!!==we all need to laugh so very much.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it will help me say something----other than FREEZE WITH THE HURT.....perhaps, next time it happs to me...

so sick of people in general---who have the dang audacity to say anythingggggg---to anyone!!!!====in regard to how they look---or what they wearing....or WEIGHT---OR WHATEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

SICK OF THEM===PERIOD-END!!!!

thx for the topic...as know we all go thru this crap---like we need it??????---on top of everything else :) ------oh myyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

makes me sooo angry :blink: .......and anger===is really equal to=====hurt....which i find to be true.

got to toughen up, e1====and practice on our replies.......instead of clamming up and lettin them sink us deeper into our holes....

nooo more....enuf's enuf!!!!!!!!!!!!

the 'SQUASHED TOMATO FACE'----IS A CLASSIC!!!!!!!----as were the rest===!!

MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD....... :blink::blink::huh::huh::lol:

again, thx to all.....

let's go for it, my friends!!!!!!!!

((((hugs)))))

Maggee

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