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Trauma And Pots


Guest danielvasel

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Guest danielvasel

a year ago, while travelling, i had a "psychotic episode", or a "psychotic experience"... it lasted for a month or so...

i was dellusional... i was sure i was being followed(even by your CIA, hehe :) )

i was actually in malaysia then... i thought the cops were following me for drug traffic(it?s not what you?re thinking!! i?m not a drug dealer, i never even touched a drug )

it all started on the airplane(going to malaysia)... weird thoughts were rushing through my head.... i thought that the air attendants were planning something against me... i thought they would try to put drugs on my backpack, to incriminate me.... i had read that drug traffic is punished with the capital sentence in malaysia... so i was so scared....

when the plane landed, i was the first one to get out... i actually ran through the airport, and got out as quickly as i could..... all i wanted to do was to get out of the country, any destination would do...

well, im not gonna go into details here, as it is a POTS forum, Ill just write whatever i think is relevant to the topic.... (if someone is interested in knowing the details of what happened just email me, id be glad to share it with ya)

anyways, the next days were just crazy, I slept on the bushes, i travelled hundreds of miles until god knows where(still in malaysia), I got robbed and beat up by 3 guys(they took just about everything I had), I got arrested, A cop beat me up, I was almost hit by a car, etc etc.....

eventually i got to the brazilian embassy.... they did a wonderful job, got me back to brazil, and then my parents put me in a psychiatric institution....

they gave me lots of drugs(so much that i can?t even remember what happened there the first days)

eventually I became aware of everything, i was not sure why it had happened to me, but i was ME again...

i started looking on the internet for possible causes... then i found out it is very common that people who are travelling or move to a new city have a "psychotic episode", and that most of them don?t have any mental problems or disorders, and that they will probally never have another episode, as long as they don?t put themselves through such stressful situations....(which is very sad, I can?t travel no more :) )

so i was pissed off, for wasting 2.400 dollars(that is a lot in my country!!),

but I kind of liked the experience.... i know it sounds crazy, but when i was having this "episode" i was not aware of danger... danger didn?t mean nothing for me.... so it was like dreaming while awake, ya know? or like being the protagonist of your own movie... or like being in a video game.... I can assure you that it was fun...

the only thing that scared me a little bit was the thought that I would be executed for drug traffic, as I said before.... but deep down, i felt "unbeatable".... no one could get me... i had super powers... even if they got me, id think of something.... ya know?

im saying that to make a point here.... i certainly don?t see it as a trauma.... at a consciouss level, it was not...even when the cop was beating me up, i wasnt afraid... when they arrested me, i was sure i?d get out in no time...( i actually did, hehe :) )

but im aware that there?s also another level.... the unconciouss one....

does anyone know anybody who?s been through a similiar situation, and then developed POTS?

and the most important question would be: what would the prognostic look like then?

there?s another thing i should mention... i developed POTS almost a year after this "episode".... is it possible for someone to develop a "trauma induced POTS" a year after the episode/incident/accident/stressful situation?

thank you very much for reading this far.... and if you have any relevant information for the topic, please post it here :D

PS: before i went to malaysia, i had already been "on the road" for a while

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Well, ummm, I don't know if what I'm about to share with you really counts or not, but here goes.

I believe that I've had POTS/Dysautonomia since birth and I've always noticed that when I'm under great amounts of stress, I get a little, shall we say "off". A little more paranoid, a little more anxious and yes, even bordering on what, I would call, Psychotic.

Case in point, I just got back from a vacation in the mountains of Colorado (I live in Denver, so not a long journey at all), but, I still had huge anxiety while I was there and then when I came back (just this last Saturday) my mind was racing and I had this horrible image in my head that I couldn't shake (it's too awful to even share) but needless to say, it scared me.

I had just started on a Beta Blocker right before I left for the trip and if you read my posts about that, you'll see, that for me, it might just be the "drug" and how it effects my system, personally. I hadn't slept in nearly a week and I was emotional to say the least.

I'm not sure about "developing POTS" AFTER an event like that, though. I'm sorry that I can't really help you. I do know, that for my entire life, I've had moments when I truly questioned my own sanity and have felt like I was holding it together by a thread. I've learned that that can merely be the chemical imbalance that we all have in our bodies, ie. autonomic system being off kilter. Although, knowing that and FEELING it, are two different things.

I hope that this made some sense, I'm having a bad day today and can't seem to get it together, sorry!!!

Good luck on your journey!!!

Bec

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