Anyone Else Afraid Of Being Alone?

[LindaJoy]

Hi, everyone,

I'm just venting, so if you want to skip this post, please feel free. It's not going to be a full blown rant, but I am very, very frustrated, sad and depressed. I am afraid to be alone anymore and spend my nights with relatives when my husband is working, or my days with relatives or friends if he's working then. I'm so afraid of having a POTS episode, and now that I'm not on any medication to regulate my heart, I'm terrified of having a fibrillation or tachy episode and dying.

Is anyone else out there afraid of being alone? If so, what do you do about it? I feel like such a baby. Actually, I feel like giving up.

Thanks.

Linda

[Guest tearose]

I think we are "allowed" to feel whatever feelings we are having! So, then, how to manage becomes the question...

So, when I was fighting a bad, bad virus and was alone and scared and feeling like if I fell asleep my heart was going to slow down so much and stop...I have stayed up late and watched tv so I could dial the phone if needed or surf the net to distract myself. I think is was just by complete exhaustion that I finally fell asleep about four in the morning ! To my amazement, I woke up late morning...alive, and wound up doing the same thing for several nights till my hubby came back from a trip!

Do what ever makes you get through it linda, while you are going through this, try to figure what you are afraid of and how you want to deal with it. Are your fears ones you want to live with or do you want to try to make them resolve?

let me know if you want to brainstorm some ideas...my brain seems to be working these days...might as well as use it while I can!!!

Take care, tearose

[nadine]

I also don't like being alone, but I am during the day. It is such a scary illness, never knowing minute to minute how I will feel-at least for me.

Having my pets help, husband checks in by phone at noon. I carry phone with me at all times.

My daughter is home a couple days during week and I do have family in town, neighbors are close by and my doc office is only 2 miles away.

The hard part is not wanting to call anyone unless absolutely necessary and never knowing for sure when it is. My symptoms have been real bad today, heart a fluttering and several presyncopal episodes.Not sure what is up. I am trying to tell myself that I have done a lot for me and this is the first day I tried not to use a/c- that came on at mid day as I couldn't take it anymore.

So it is comforting for me to know people are near, but I do not like being alone at night for sure. I will have someone stay with me. if husband and daughter are going to be gone.

Yes Tearose - I do the same TV, computer, movies.

[Jacquie802]

Hi,

For a long time I was scared to be alone, or drive alone, etc. I am somewhat better now. The way I think about it, is if something is going to happen, it doesn't matter where you are or who you are with, because it's still going to happen....

I do have a phone with me at all times, cell phone (when I'm out), house phone (whichever room I am in), etc.

Do you think that you need to be on some sort of med., such as beta blocker, etc??? Maybe talk to your doctor.

I know how scary it can be, esp the thought of being alone. Do you talk to a counselor or anything?? I have for a few months and she has helped me out sooo much. I just don't want you to end up having anxiety about being alone, which is what basically happened to me.

Feel free to PM me, etc. if you would like to talk, because I know first hand where you are coming from!

Jacquie

[Tammy]

I can completely relate. I usually end up calling a friend or my husband when I'm alone having a severe episode or just pray really hard asking Jesus to help me. I always physically feel like I'm going to die during them, so I get so scared. I think it's a normal thing to have those feelings. I guess I don't have much advice other than to say your not alone and definitely not a baby.

Do whatever makes you feel secure and comforted

Tammy

[mom4cem]

I feel the same way. I hate being alone but on the other hand I don't want to be someone else's burden, like my family. When my hubby is home on the weekends, he usually only goes out for an hour or two for the kids soccer/baseball games but I know I can reach him. When he is at work it is a little harder for me to reach him.

My parents are older and I don't want to frighten them or make them feel they have to look out for me so I tend to only go there with my little guy and use him as an excuse. Otherwise I carry my cell phone(what did we ever do without them?), and have the portable from room to room. I used to wonder what would happen if I was home, locked in my house and something happened? How would they get in? Who would know?

Tis true though, if it is going to happen it is going to happen. Just don't want that to be while I am driving(Have had that before with tachy episodes) or out in stores(can't imagine having to lie down on the floor and wait an hour for it to pass) or anywhere. Yet I still try to force myself.

This was not much help, but just wanted you to know I feel the same way. BTW, 40 here and a big baby!!!!

[Guest dionna]

i always hate being alone. i am a people person. in my case though, not many people really want to help me and i feel like i am a bother to them. if i go anywhere... they have to load my wheel chair up and unload and help me out and make sure i am okay the whole time because i am a fainter and i do it usually a few times a week. i think they are more scared of it than anything though. i try not to bother anyone and i only go places if someone is already going. most of the time i wait for an invitation but i don't get them often so i have to just ask. the past few days i have been really sad because i feel so left out. my parents begged me to come back home. they promised that they would help me and take me to the doctors and all that good stuff. well i am here and i have been since may 20th. i haven't been to a single doctor yet although i have asked several times and have even broke down crying because of being in so much pain and all the fainting. i guess i am just venting now. they won't take me anywhere hardly and i am always left by myself. (long sigh). so yeah i am afraid of being alone but we both see that atleast we aren't alone on this issue. i hope you get to feeling better about it and i apologize for ranting about myself. take care.

dionna

[LindaJoy]

Thank you, everyone, for sharing. Wow, you all said things that could have come directly from my mouth! You truly understand. I will take things to my neighbors as an excuse to not be alone if I'm not feeling good. I, too, feel like such a burden on my family and friends and will only call them if I feel really, really bad, beyond bad, like I did yesterday. I, too, carry a phone with me at all times and make sure my emergency meds (albuterol pump, heart pill, benadryl, aspirin) are within reach at all times. I feel crazy, but at the same time, I know what my body can and will do, and I get through those episodes so much better if I'm not alone. Being alone just makes things worse for me, as the anxiety from it adds to the already terrible POTS stuff. Right now, my doctor and I are trying to treat me with just added fluids, salt, compression hose, staying out of the heat, not over-doing, etc., since my body decided that no meds, whatsoever, are going to be tolerated. I feel truly, truly in despair.

But, again, thanks, everyone. I know I'm not alone. And, thank you for the offers of phone calls and brainstorming. You all are so great. Send me phone numbers and you just may get a call, if you don't mind.

Love you all,

Linda

[shayden]

I am scared to pieces to be alone and Dionna....I strongly feel your frustration with people making promises and then not fulfilling them. I wish I was closer to you and I would find a way to get you to where ever you needed to go.

I think our fears are more then justified. I have had many serious injuries from fainting, when I have been alone, and I have had to wait hours until I could get help. This was such a concern for me that my family and I discussed it and decided to move into an apartment complex. I figured this way....someone would have to hear me if I screamed. lol

I am sorry that you are feeling so sad and depressed today Linda....please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

Susan

[Guest Julia59]

Linda,

I'm always afraid when i'm alone---mostly at night though. During the day I'm OK for some reason. I guess I'm just used to it. When my POTS really crashed though----woooooo-weeeee---I was really afraid. I didn't want to be alone in a room---I made my son sleep on the floor in the living room once when my husbnd couldn't be there *** me. Mostly---I was afraid of going nuts------the Docs had me convinced I was nuts. Thankfully the feeling like i'm going nuts part only lasted a couple months.

This stuff can really mess with our minds. I really think were a brave bunch in the long haul of things---I think this stuff can make the toughest person break at times. There were times that I felt really wimpy---always when I get the panic attack spells. Pat yourself on the back for how strong you are---because you really are.

Julie :0)

[LindaJoy]

Julie, I sure don't feel brave. I feel like all my life has become is a day to day struggle to survive, and what's the joy in that?

When I was on some meds that I'm now not taking because they freaked me out, just this past April, I was sooooo afraid to be alone that when my poor husband went to the bathroom, I would go in with him and sit on the floor right beside the toilet. Bless his heart, he understood.

Again, thank you all for the support and mom4cem, for the phone number. You're all so sweet and you truly understand.

If ever I can be a support for any of you, just let me know.

Linda

[ksibert676]

xxx

[SunsetParadise49]

I'm afraid of being left alone for the most part. I tend to be extremely careful of what I do when I'm home alone. I don't use steps unless I absolutely have to. If I'm just not feeling well then I get on the computer or watch tv. I know how you feel and it's alright to have different emotions and feelings like some others have said above.

Take Care!

[JenniferInOhio]

You are not alone in your feelings I'm the same way.

[dawn]

Being alone is one of my biggest struggles. I made my husband quit his job last year. He has been home with me for the past year and now financially he has to go back to work. We cashed in his retirement and gave 1/3 of it to the government for taxes, so believe me I understand. I would have lived in a cardboard box to have him home with me last year at this time. It was a rough year for me.

I am doing better now, he started by leaving for short periods and is now usually gone about 6 hours a day. I accept the fact he will be working soon. It will probably be 12 hour rotating shifts a a nuclear power plant It is the one he leaning towards because of the good health insurance. I know when he is on the night shift I will struggle. I do have a 16 year old at home and 2 dogs. I am lucky to have a girlfriend that I can call anytime of the day or night and she only lives a mile away. But, I also know how I am. I will fret over every episode of palpations and think I should call 911.

I wish I had something that really worked for me that I could share with you.

I do understand and don't be embarrassed. I always think if someone healthy had to be in our bodies for a month then they could give us their advice. I get so sick of my sister telling me to get a hobby

You are not alone.

Dawn