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A Day In My Life...


Dawg Tired
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Ok, So... Since I had a ham in the freezer from a hog we were given last year and only a few months to go until we will have another I decided to bake the ham for Father's Day breakfast tomorrow at church. I woke up this morning feeling absolutely like crap so I went back to bed after a bowl of cereal and giving Hector a drink of milk since he was hugging the fridge....

And I got back up about 9:30 am - still feeling like crap but maybe not quite as bad. But I HAD to get the ham into the oven so I got it out, decided to bake it in the big ol' cast iron skillet and I placed the ham in the skillet (the whole thing was sitting on the granite-topped kitchen island) and I got out the "Honey-Praline Ham Injection Kit"..... It's a Southern thing, for those of you who are not familiar with such.

Now, one would think that since I was a nurse I could operate a ham injector - I was confident this could be done easy enough - after all, a ham will not squirm, holler, gripe, yell, or bite (I used to work at a dog kennel....)

So, Following the directions, I scored the ham with a sharp knife and then cut a VERY attractive checkerboard pattern in it then I attached the injector needle to the syringe, stuck the business end into the supplied honey jar and tried to draw up the glaze. Nope, it didn't work. On closer inspection, the honey was much too thick to be drawn into the syringe. So I put it in the microwave and nuked it for 30 seconds, took it out, swirled it around and repeated the process.... Ok, this should work. I tried again. OK, I could now draw up the honey into the syringe and I stuck it into the ham and pushed the plunger. A stream of honey shot out of a hole in the ham, shooting through one of the nice checkerboard lines - right into my purse which was sitting on the nearby kitchen table - OPEN!!!

Ok - I was GOING to WIN!!! I drew up more honey (I would address the whole honey-in-my-purse thing later) and shot the ham again, all right - things were going smoothly. I continued on, then, as I was shooting it for hopefully the last time - I got a stream of honey that went straight up toward the ceiling fan.... Ok, I don't know if any actually got ON the ceiling fan or not - I still have not got up the nerve to look.

So, at last the ham was in the oven. Phew!

Still feeling like death warmed over and exhausted, I stretched out on the couch. Now Hubby has a captive audience so he makes me watch 3 hours of crime shows he has recorded (He thinks I should be interested in them...) So, at last the ham is done and I took it out of the oven, put in cupcakes I was making for tomorrow too. A couple turns in the oven and I have all of them baked. I took a nap for about an hour.

I got up, put the ham on the cutting board to slice it and I hear a loud banging - Hubby decided (after 2 years!) to take the board off of the front of the fireplace.

When we bought this house the fireplace had been sealed off - we know it has been sealed off at least since 1972. And today, while I am up to my elbows in honey praline ham - he decides to remove the boards....

Ok, so, I go in to check this out and there is a HUGE bunch of dirt, ashes and who knows what else in the bottom of a surprisingly huge firebox in this old fireplace. And he grins at me, "Ok honey, you can put the candles in now!"

(Y'all know he has a head injury, right????)

Ok, so, now exhausted, in the middle of the fibromyalgia flare I have been fighting with for the past 4-5 days, I have made cupcakes, baked a ham, and now I have the bottom of a fireplace to clean out.... a fireplace bottom that has not seen the light of day for 35 years or so!!!

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Oh, I watch them, and enjoy most of them. But he records all the reruns and crime shows on the satellite ALL NIGHT..... I mean, I would like some, Fraiser, Nanny, Golden Girls.... Just something else once in a while!!!

P.S. I have now hauled 2 five-gallon buckets of dirt out of the fireplace - it is lovely with candles in it!

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oh my gayla!! i did gillgel as i read you story of the adventures of the ham fiasco! my goodness dear....

I hope that hubby will now record some girly shows for you now!!.. though i dont have alot of room to talk b/c I love to watch the law and order marathons on tv!

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Gayla,

That put a smile on my face....Glad you finally got the ham in the oven!! LOL :rolleyes:

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