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Quick Come Back Database


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How about a database of quick come backs?

To distinguish serious offerings from humor merely to amuse ourselves, I suggest we set off the humor comments in [brackets.]

Stuff to say to other people about POTS:

You can?t see my disability.

Button*: Ask me about POTS! (Have a memorized simple explanation, like, ?My body can?t regulate my blood pressure or heart rate.? Also have brochures if they want to know more.)

Think of what your house would look like if all you had was one hour, on your feet, a day to take care of all your ADLs. What would make sense under those conditions?

I have a glitch in my nervous system that makes me gravity challenged.

Button: ?Gravity Challenged.?

Button: ?Wanted: Surplus G-suit? This can give rise to an opportunity for public education.

The gravity?s different on my planet.

(When setting folding/cane chair in a grocery line or something.) It?s sit down or fall down. This way, I choose!

I have a medical condition.

["Heck, I just _____ to get the attention.? Fill in blank with ?park here?, ?faint,? ?vomit,? ?tip over,? ?stagger,? ?use a wheelchair.?]

Bumper Sticker: My other car is a gurney.

[bumper Sticker for Morgan: Honk if you see me slumped over. DO NOT CALL 911!]

To rude/curious people regarding handicapped status:

In response to, ?You look fine!?

Thank you.

Can?t lose the looks!

This is stunt make up. [The stunt of course, is walking.]

No job, no money, no life [and wise cracking, boundary-less strangers.] But, at least I look good! [Need that on a T-shirt.]

Yeah? But you should see my Tilt.

Yeah, but my ANS is a wreck!

[?Oh, you?d have to see my 24 hour urine catch to see the problem. Want to?? You could always keep a small bottle of apple juice handy.]

In regard to, ?You don?t seem handicapped.?

You can?t see my disability.

[Tell that to my wallet!]

[(Best kindergarten teacher voice) You can get a handicapped tag, too, if you qualify.]

Yeah, I used to judge others, too, before I got sick.

[Give them a maniacal smile and say, ?It?s not physical!?]

I have an invisible disability, just like you can?t see cancer, diabetes, COPD, and heart conditions.

It?s not an orthopedic condition.

Would you like to know how I?m handicapped? (Follow with a simple explanation of POTS.)

[Are you accusing me of medical bracelet fraud?]

--------------

I'm waiting to hear your wit and wisdom!

(*Craft stores sell inexpensive blank plastic buttons, magnets and key chains that you can put in design from your computer or something hand done.)

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This one isn't very nice and I don't say it often but I certainly think it a lot....

When people say "Well, you look fine" or "Well, you look good" in response to my saying I FEEL bad I, on occasion have said, "Yeah, well you LOOK smart"

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ooh, poohbear! I LOVE that! your're right it's not very nice, but i imagine it's rather satisfying to say or just to think.

i wish i could think of these things to say and then actually have the guts to say to someone's face.

like when the doc asked "why do you have so many things wrong with you?"

i just get mad! and then clam up.

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  • 4 years later...

Love them all!!! These 3 are my favorites:

-(Best kindergarten teacher voice) You can get a handicapped tag, too, if you qualify. I LOVE kindergarten teacher voices :rolleyes:

-Yeah, I used to judge others, too, before I got sick. Nothing like a quick dose of the truth.

-Give them a maniacal smile and say, ?It?s not physical!? Then cross your eyes and start drooling for emphasis!

What makes me crazy is when people say, "Thank goodness Mack (my son) is ALL better." It's relative as he did have to miss a year of school. Depending on my mood, I've been known to say things like, "Yeah, a mere fifteen pills a day & 60% of normal- we're thrilled." And, we ARE. It is a huge improvement, but NOT "ALL BETTER."

Keep them coming!

Julie

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Yeah. Julie - I went to my daughters concert and saw all the cheerleading moms who last saw me in the wheelchair. They all jumped up and said "Thank God your healed and walking"....I said "Yes...but I am going to need to sit very soon". They actually were good natured and really concerned. It is hard to understand dysautonomia. But I have had my comments for sure...most often it is from family that can't seem to get a handle on the fact that I can't do things.

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