Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Sign in to follow this  
morgan617

Hubs has a chance to do something fun

Recommended Posts

As many of you know, I have the best and sweetest hubs. Plus a very supportive son that lives with us while he is in school.

My hubs has the chance of a lifetime to go to Daytona beach and have a ball at a Nascar thingy. He loves racing of any kind, he races on his computer with guys from all over the world. He got invited down there, with shared room fees which lowers it considerably and we have a tiny bit put aside so he could pay for the flight and food. I know how badly he wants this.

But he says he can't possibly go and leave me when I am sick. OMG, you can't believe how badly this makes me feel, and how very much I want him to go. It is as important to me that he goes as it is to him to stay. I have told him if he doesn't go it will make me even sicker, as I will feel so terrible about it.

He works over 60 hours a week, does all the shopping, at least 50% of the cooking and cleaning, and now even has to help me in the shower sometimes. He needs a break from this. I will be okay for 5 days, but I am having a lot of trouble convincing him. Remember, my son is here(except for showers B) he'd be scarred for life)

Any suggestions would be so appreciated...morgan

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Have you told us like you told him - that he works SO hard with work and you that he deserves to do this and have some fun and t will make you feel bad if he doesn't go? And remind him that your son is there to help you out. He might not think of it that way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I do not know your particular situation, but I would converse with him and tell him how you plan on doing each of the activities you normally do, with help, if needed. Also, if you have a backup plan for emergencies, then he could see that you could manage. If all else fails, you could get someone to come in and check up on you every other day from an agency.

If he sees that you thoroughly thought out all contingencies, then he'll feel more free to go.

I know that when my husband and I had a trip planned and my mother (who was living with us) had just had surgery and was not fully functional, we had a 24 hr/day caretaker with her. She didn't like the idea, but that was the only way we would go.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tell him he has been great through all this,(which I am sure he knows already),he deserves some me time, and to get refreshed!

Tell him you would rather have him happy and refreshed in a week than you being 2x as miserable feeling guilty for him staying home during that week. If anything happens, he can catch a flight back if need be and your son can keep him in the loop while he is gone.

If you feel everything will be o.k. with him gone, then he should go. It would put a smile on your face too. B)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Morgan, do you have any other friends or family who could pinch hit while he's away? Maybe he doesn't want to leave your son with all that pressure??? If you were a bit more active you could always tell him he'd better go or you'd kick his behind B) I always tell Teri not to feel guilty about doing things without me, but the guilt happens regardless of my failure to show any signs of upset--I actually tell Teri how happy I am that we both are able to do things apart from one another and have independent interests.

I hope that you get the outcome you're hoping for...wish I had more words of wisdome- Nina

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks so much guys. He promised me he would try his hardest to get it done. Knowing vacations were booked! :angry:

But, since he promised me, he asked and 3 other guys gave up time so he could go! I guess that shows you how special he is, that his work mates would do that. So then he couldn't wiggle out of it. I bought his ticket already and it's non refundable, so he is soooo stuck. And I am so happy. :lol:B):):P:D

I'm not happy he tried to trick me, but nothing good comes of tricking, except in this case where it backfired!

And this is so weird. My sister called and wanted to know if it was okay to come see me that week. So it's karma or something. Meant to be.

I will make sure he has me all stocked up on supplies and I will be very careful, and do soapless baths to make him happy.

Anyway, thank you for all your suggestions and hints. I know a lot of you have been there, where you know your sig other wants something and you know they are giving it up for you. That is the worst feeling. We have to give up so much when we are sick, but it is harder for me to see how my family suffers because of my suffering.

Thanks again, and will keep in close touch while he's gone. I'm getting potsy from being excited for him, so need to lie down...no injuries before he goes! B) morgan

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Morgan,

I'm so glad to hear he is going. And your sister coming, that is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it's hard for them to understand that seeing them happy makes us happy.

Sounds like it all worked out. B)

You take good care of yourself. Rent some good movies and have pajama parties with your sister.

If only we could drink wine B) Then it would be a real pajama party.

Dawn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Morgan,

That is great that your husband is going AND your sister will be down. That really is karma!! It's good that you have your son around to help you out as well. Your husband sounds like such a great man, I am sure he deserves this trip. I hope you and your sister have a great time visiting with each other. Take care B) !

Jacquie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband always takes some sort of vacation a year with his friend.

He is always reluctant to go and I always reassure him that I am perfectly capable of taking care of situations myself and that there is really nothing I cant handle even when I am not feeling well and that he deserves to go...

He usually ends up comming home much sooner than originally planned but at least he will go.

I think its very important for spouses to get away by themselves once in a while regardless if one of the partners are sick , so make aure to let him know its OK to go .......

I hope he has a good trip!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That 's so cool that he's going!! And, that the universe provided for you at the same time by sending your sister your way.

Even if Teri would NEVER admit it, I think the time apart helps both of us. It helps me feel like I can still be alone and/or do some things alone and/or not rely completely on just one person for my needs... and I think it rejuvinates the other person--giving them a break from the stresses of home (even if it's never referred to as stresses, we all know that caring for a disabled person is no cakewalk).

Nina

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

morgan, when i read your post yesterday i immediately agreed what a problem this is. my husband and i agreed that he really needs some time alone (to do what HE likes, i mean, without having to push my wheelchair or what). he absolutely didn't like it (as we used to do almost everything together) but now he can have pleasure in doing the things he likes (which is not very often) with his friends. he is getting used to it and is able to enjoy things.

we have talked about this lots of times and the first time i almost had to throw him out :( but he went!

i wanted to offer you some ideas like: handing him his ticket and tell him this is his birthday/christmas/ fathersday or whatever present from you to him because he takes so very good care of you.

i once gave my husband motor driving lessons for taking good care for me and for his birthday he bought a great motor (that was when i was still able to join him on his motor). the motor is HIS thing. He can take one of the kids, a friend or can go all by himself when he needs that or just wants to/

what i mean to say, writing all this, is that our caretakers just NEED something for themselves. we can listen to their stories and have fun for them as well. they really deserve it.

glad your husband is doing this morgan, and YOU deserve a compliment for making this possible for him,

corina :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...