Friday Was my last day of Work

[AJVDK]

Well Fridy was my last day of work. I can't not beleive how hard it was on me. I loved my job, but I thought it would be earier then it was. I kept it togeher all day. It was when I got out to my car and sat down, I lost it. I begain to cry. I think the hardesrt part for me is that my life is changing. I can't controll it.

My health has began to so much worse..... this is just not getting better. Now it comes time for all the disablity stuff. My phone call with them in on Thursday the 12th. Please drop a prayer or thought, I really need this to go though. I am hoping since my doctor is the one telling me I can no longer work, that will help, but I don't want to get my hopes up.

I am trying fingure out what I am going to do. I am very worried about my depression as well. Over the last 2 years I have done pretty good. I got down from time to time, but now I am getting really depressed. I am seeing my doctor regarding it, and a theapist. I just don't want to go down that road again, and know its coming. See if I am not busy every min. of the day. I find the thoughts of drinking and using come up, alot when I am depressed. So I am going to try to find things to do. One thing I know I can do is be a better mother. I son for the 1st time is not going to go to day care but stay home with me. I think this is going to be good, but I am worried about the bad days, when I can't get out of bed. My husband family lives in the same town and they are going to help out. Which will be nice. I am also going to try and find a hobby, when I feel up to it I can work on. I think this will also give me time to try to find the right meds, doctors, and hope to later down the line recover or at list find a better quaility of life.

I want to thank you all for all the support over the last few months, its been very hard on me, but one day at a time!

Amy

[Guest Belinda]

I am sorry for you Amy but in the same token..read your quote about one step at a time..I am no longer working either. And have two boys..it is hard some days but we make it through.

This will definitely give you more time with your son which should help with the depression..kids are the reason to go on in my case.

You will find ways to make it through this with others help and on your own.

And good luck on the disablity, that is going to be my next step.

Thinking of you and sending some hugs your way.

Belinda

[Jacquie802]

Hi, I too had to leave my job. It stinks since I am the only 21 year old I know who can't work. I have seen almost every tv show out there since I can't even get out of the house too much. The part I hate the most is borrowing money to pay my bills. I have applied for SSDI but it is a long process.

I am good at art so the other day my sister bought me some acrylic paints and a canvas so I can start painting again. Too bad I can't make money off of that! Anyhow, I think it would be a good idea to find a hobby that you are interested in. Hope you find some stuff to keep you busy!!! Take care

[dizzygirl]

AMy--dear I feel for you.. sending you many hugs and warm wishes... and will be thinking and praying for you on your interview day!!

I know that things are hard for you right now... we are here for you no matter what Ok!!

HUGS

Linda

[baby_boy]

Same here im 21 and found it hard to work, i used to have so much time off.

I took up many hobbies and im often called 'Extremley Talented' by many people. I took up:

web design

Ive been a DJ and music producer since the age off 16. I used to earn ?300 a day from it. I was threatened to death with a knife and was placed on witness protection @ 19 so i lost it all.

Ive hit drink loads of times, but amazing quit smoking at 18.

[Ernie]

Hi,

I remember how hard it was when I had to stop working and apply for my pension. I had no choice because I could not care for myself.

Things will get better.

[Suzanne]

I am sorry to hear of your troubles. Giving up work is so hard, I am on the verge of it and wonder why I am hanging on so hard when it takes so much out of me. I hope that you can really relax and take care of yourself now and your family who sound very supportive. I am sure you will find a new interest, it is amazing what comes up when you have cleared away all the busyness with working etc. I have started doing surveys on the net which are fun and you get points to buy stuff with etc. Faith is also integral. Sending you hugs and warm smiles.

[MightyMouse]

Amy, that had to be so tough. Maybe, though, you can now focus more on stablizing your health? It's a big shift mentally--I've been there. I was able to return to work a little over a year later, but I remember bawling in my doctor's office after he told me he thought I needed to stay home for a while to recover from a series of infections and back problems.

There is life after work, and there is the possibility of working again. There's no crystal ball, but I firmly believe that your mental attitude is a big part of how you make out...working or not working. Glad you felt you could vent here.

Nina

[morgan617]

My last day of work was March 17, 2003. I had worked all my life, so it was like losing a part of my whole identity. Even harder, last year I didn't renew my nursing license. Cried for days.

But the reality is, you grieve at your loss, because it is a loss, then you do all you can to feel better.

It is a struggle to lose that independence, but it does get better and easier. I never thought it would, but it has. Just hang in there. So many of us have been there and are here to tell you, you can get through this..morgan

[AJVDK]

Thank you so much for all the support. I still am trying just to make it though the day ringt now. Wow time goes so slow when you are home. (Or at least for me.) My husbad has been great so far, and somw of are friends stop over last night and brought movies, as they know I can't do alot. It;s nice to be aroung people. Today I am all alone. I been sitting hear trying to plan out the next week so I try to stay busy so I don't get down! I know I can do this. Well I am off to take a nap. I am so tired all the time!

Again thanks for the support!

Amy

[Kitsakatsa]

Hang in there. You are not losing control, you are gaining it and doing a very brave thing.

I think that everyone has the right idea with the hobbies. In my free time, I grab a barstool and cook the kinds of things where you have to chop everything into a million little pieces. It's actually SO therapeutic. I have the TV on, and I'm cookin' and all of my worries just slip away.

Another thing is scrapbooking. It sounds lame-o, but it takes lots of stuff and forever to make a perfect page and I just get lost in it. It's active enough to completely forget about POTS. And-you can make things with scraps so it doesn't take over your medication budget!

Also- have you thought about distance education classes? Everything is done either through the mail or online and you go at any pace as long as you complete the course in 9 or 12 months. Nearly every University has them. There are usually tons of classes like new languages, literature etc. Because you can go at a snails pace- there's very little pressure.

I know you can find loads of things to do to keep your mind busy. Just take a little at a time, and congratulations on your decision. It must have been a hard one. But then, you sound like you are one tough cookie!

[taylortotmom]

My thoughts are with you.

Carmen