Chrissy Posted January 6, 2006 Report Share Posted January 6, 2006 Hi everyone, I have had POTS and some soon to be discovered other stuff for at least a year. I have handled it pretty well living my life and pausing when needed to take a breath, but now I'm stuggling. Just recently I started dating a really nice guy and his 15 month old son (package deal). He's very great about my condition and very loving. I've fallen in love with him in every sense of the word, but I'm finding it harder to get through my life. I don't know if its just bad timing and my condition finally wore me out or if we're over doing it, which we really don't do much of anything. My numbers have been out of wack and my meds no longer seem to work. I feel like my heart is pulling me in one direction and my body in the other. I'm tired of having to cancel on him or have him watch me struggling to feel normal...I've read that POTS puts a strain on relationships, but I never understood til now. I love him so much that I'm starting to doubt whether I should be holding me back (I hope this is just cause I'm tired), but I also don't want to lose the best thing to happen to me in my life. Help please!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernie Posted January 6, 2006 Report Share Posted January 6, 2006 Hi,I think that if your boyfriend really loves you, cares for you and accepts you the way you are you have found a precious man. Better keep him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted January 6, 2006 Report Share Posted January 6, 2006 Hi Chrissy,I'm so sorry you're having a diificult time. I think that if your boyfriend can see beyond any physical limitations you may have and loves you for who you are, you should hang on to him. You might have to slow down your level of activity and see if he can accept that. It sounds like you're concerned with the energy it is taking to have this relationship affecting your health. Is that right?Are you worried that you'll end up holding him back? If you don't percieve yourself as doing so, than he probably won't think that your holding him back with any limitations you might need to maintain to stay healthy. He probably just wants what's best for you!All the best,Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Belinda Posted January 6, 2006 Report Share Posted January 6, 2006 I can understand your frustration, I keep wondering why my boyfriend is still with me after a year of getting sick. In some ways I find myself pushing him away because of my illness.It is very hard but honest ly if your boyfriend can see past the POTS and loves you anyways I wouldn't push him away. Not that we aren't human just that nowadays it is rare to find this at least that is what I see.Just slow down your activities a bit and see how he responds, ya know?You cannot help that you have POTS but that doesn't mwan you have to let go of the good things in your life.Which is some advice I need to follow,eh.It is very frustrating I am sure not to be able to do everything that you want to, all of the time.Take it easy on yourself...and good luck with your situation. It is what is on the inside that matters with those of us with POTS.Take care,Belinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunsetParadise49 Posted January 6, 2006 Report Share Posted January 6, 2006 If he really loves and care about you then he will stay by yourside! I wonder how the heck my boyfriend has stayed by me while being sick. He's seen me at my worst, but he's always there to help me. If he is over at my house and I all of a sudden feel sick he takes care of me and gets me anything I want. You sound like you are in love with this man so stay with him, take care of yourself too though. Your heart will tell you what do (both in relationship ways and in your health) Good luck! If you would want to PM me you could!Gwen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyP Posted January 7, 2006 Report Share Posted January 7, 2006 Hi Chrissy;I haven't been here is some time, but, your thread caught my eye coming back here. In my opinion, I think you should talk to your boyfriend openly and honestly. Tell him the same way you said it here. If he loves you he will be understanding. With you having POTS, being open with him is so much better that just pretending you feel good when in reality you are miserable. Just explain it to him and tell him how you really feel and see what happens. Don't be negative about the relationship. Be positive and point out the fun things you can do together, especially all 3 of you. Think positive and speak positively.I think it is great that you have found someone that you are very fond of and think as wonderful. But, remember, he is getting a wonderful person too. Just because you have POTS doesn't mean you are less of a woman. He will see that through your openness and honesty. Good Luck.KathyP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evie Posted January 8, 2006 Report Share Posted January 8, 2006 Oh hun, Im sorry to hear your health is playing up at such a vital time in your relationship. Have you shared your thoughts with your guy? I know in the past i have been paranoid that partners will leave me or i am too boring for them and its a horrible feeling. I found the best way to deal with it is to be open and honest about how you are feeling and make it clear that you dont want them to say "its ok" just to be nice... if they are struggiling with it then it may help for him to be able to voice his emotions without having to bring it up himself (as he may fear that it would come across as an attack).You say you are not doing much so im not sure if cutting down on activiites would help but maybe you could change activities. I am a huge fan of the movies heh. I get to go out but i get to sit down. Have you factored in that a child may take extra energy? I know when i am around children i get zapped so quickly even though i enjoy being around them. Good luck with it. I hope it works out for you. Congratulations on finding a sweet guy who you love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenn202 Posted January 8, 2006 Report Share Posted January 8, 2006 I have to quote what my mother always says: " Life is not a dress rehearsal"If you have truly found love and a wonderful man, you have every right to be happy and live your life. Dont let a physical problem get in the way if your happiness......Good Luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morgan617 Posted January 8, 2006 Report Share Posted January 8, 2006 I'd just slow it down to where you really are and see where it goes from there. Just explain it and keep those communication lines open.I know many of us here are blessed to have very understanding partners and many aren't. You just won't know till he sees the real you.I wish you the best, grab that brass ring and go for it. It's like the song "the Dance" Sometimes the pain is worth it if it doesn't work out. Don't know if you know that song.Quotes here I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance....morgan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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