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taylortotmom
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Well, the wheel of fortune has turned and it is my to turn to cry and ask for support. I am usually optimistic and the one to offer encouragement but to be honest I am down- way down right now. My marriage nearly dissolved today. Two weeks short of our eight year anniversary. How much stress is a marriage suppose to take? When are things going to get easier? I feel defeated. Please, please pray for me if you pray- if not, send positive vibes and clarity this way so we can do the right thing and move forward. Thank you all.

Carmen

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Dear Carmen,

I am sorry that you had a marriage crisis. I am sending positive vibes winging your way.

I have been married for 36 years quite happily, and for at least 25 of those years I have had debilitating POTS. Chronic illness can strain a marriage but it does not have to break it. It does not necessarily make a marriage unhappy. My husband would tell you that his marriage to me has been happy for him.

Do you have anyone on this forum that you feel close to that you could send a personal message to and include more details, so you can get some more specific support for yourself?

Hugs,

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Hi, I am going to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You have helped so many of us out of rough times I hope our prayers, etc. help you. Take care and I'm here if you need me...it's your turn!

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Carmen, I am so sorry you and your husband are having such difficulties. You are such a wonderful support to everyone here, I hope we can all do the same for you. You hold on, Carmen. You will get through this. I'm sending you love and good thoughts.... Laura

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I'm sorry to hear you are struggling so much and I will definately pray for you and your husband.

Feel free to email me if you want to talk more.

I wish I had the magic words for you. Do your best to communicate honestly with your spouse and maybe you can both write down what is most important to you and what you each need and then talk about ways to get each others needs met or see if you can find ways to compromise on certain things and agree what you can or can't "settle" for.

Do something extra special for yourself tonight if you can.

(((HUGS)))

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My thoughts are with you also.

I know first hand what a strain POTS and it's symptoms can put onto loved ones. It has been a huge hurdle in my relationship also. And many, many times either myself or my partner have wanted to leave the relationship. We have been together for just over 8 years, and now the relationship is going strong, after a lot of talking, counselling and hard work.

I wish for you that you and your partner can work through this difficult time together, and come out the other end stronger than ever.

Again, my thoughts are with you.

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Thank you everyone. I hate this stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, the sun will rise tomorrow and things will be better. The situation may not be better but maybe with everyone's good thoughts I can think more clearly.

Carmen

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Carmen ..

sending hugs and prayers your way.. I hope that things work out for you.. please know that we are here for you always!

HUGs

Linda

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Hang in there as best you can...and I hope you can see and hear clearly enough to know what path is yours. :wub: Nina

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Carmen, I know how you feel all too well. I was only married 3 months before I got sick. It seems like every time I get in a POTS hole, I go into rages and take it out on my husband. I swear, every other week we are getting divorced!! Somehow things settle down and we are able to get back in the groove again. Things will get better. They HAVE TO, because they sure as **** can't get worse, right!! :wub: Take care and both you and hubby HANG IN THERE!

take care,

bamagirl

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I just wanted to add my good thoughts and prayers your way. My husband and I are just passed our 9 year ann. I know not all that long ago we were just one step away from ending it, but we made it through. Good luck and I hope things work out for you. My prayers are with you.

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Have you thought about marriage counceling? We've been married 10+ years and there have been times when this disorder has overwhelmed both of us but fortunately we seem to take turns and haven't both been down at the same time.

At my worst, I felt like I was missing out on things because of his limitations and then guilty on top of that for being selfish. We were able to come up with some ideas that allow me to be more active but not to his exclusion.

At his worst, he was irritable, frustrated and depressed with this disorder and that would overflow into his dealings with me and also family, friends and co-workers. Fortunately he was able to work with a therapist but what probably helped the most is that his medications eased some of his symptoms and he feels better.

Wishing you both the best of luck as you try and sort things out.

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Hi Carmen,

I am really sorry you are going through such a rough time. It must be a horrible emotional experience. You are right that the sun will rise again tomorrow (i can pretty much guarantee it!). However it still a tough situation for you both. I am sending huge positive vibes your way!

xox

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carmen -

just wanted you to know that i'm sending prayers & support from snowy ohio too.

hang in there,

~melissa

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Guest Julia59

Just wanted to send HUGS and prayers your way. My husband and I have had our ups and downs also----but at some point it passes, and we muddle through. WE have had many good times also----even if it's not the same as before, there are also some positive things that have come out of this illness.

It has actually opened up new avenues for us in the sense that we really learned how to appreciate the simple things in live----the smell of flowers, a slow walk on good days, having more time to watch good movies----more time to enjoy family--ect. I know it is difficult as this disorder can make us feel robbed of the life we once had---and then we have to deal with the day to day struggles of pain---and POTS symptoms jerking our emotions all over the place.

I hope you both are able to get this worked out soon---in the meantime---please take a deep breath and hang in there the best you can.

Another HUG.

Julie :0)

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