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My Dr. agreed to start the disability application process...


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My good news from today: I asked at what point does that thought come into mind, and he said that I should start filling out paperwork now. That he would support me in anything that I needed. He said that he didn't think that it was going to be much of an issue given all the problems and considering I am in his office more than I am at work. HE said that there is no guarantee that any of this is EVER going to get better.

Here is my bad news from today: I had my infusion today. She accessed my port, which didn't hurt, but then when she started to run stuff through it, it started to really ache. I made it through my infusion and then...She had to take it out...and I would have sworn that someone stabbed me with an ice pick! The nurse said that she needed to tell my dr about it...I told her that I prefer that she not...I was told that the pain that I am having may be a chronic nerve pain issue (such as my arm, my head, my chest) and that each time they access my port they are hitting nerves which can't take it. If this continues, then they are going to have to take it out. So, if it happens again on Friday, serious thought is going to be given by my dr to take it out. I BEGGED her not to tell him. I said that taking pain meds afterwards would be my preference. She said she still had to tell him. I asked if we could wait until we saw what the treatment on Friday was like, nope...she is telling him. I am TOTALLY afraid that he is going to say "Take it out before it gets worse."

Since I didn't get to bed until 4:30 this morning, partially due to not feeling well, my dr. has told me to up my methadone, since I have been on it so long, he thinks that my body has adjusted to that dose and we need to up it. I am so hoping that it will help with this stabbing pain I have from where I had my treatment today. I had some trigger point injections done today too...only one feels like it worked, which also *****. WE are going to try a new med on Friday...just what I need another med...at least it would replace one!

So...something has to give and at this point it is going to be my sanity! I just sat and cried with the dr today. I think that he has had enough too.

Anyway...just had to update after today.


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wow lisa.. i hope that you can finds some meds to help you.. and things go well with you in terms of disability.. and that that port thing gets taken care of soon.. you dont want it to get infected!

please take care and take it easy..

hang in there


Linda :)

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