Daughter wins county competition

[EarthMother]

It's one of those mixed blessings ... my wonderful teenage daughter (isn't that an oxymoron?) won the county division for her "history day" project. I am a very proud Mom indeed.

The next level competition is in Sacramento ... plane ride away ... and I don't really travel much these days. It was hard telling her that I couldn't go. I would have loved to make that trip with her and watch her compete.

It's sad what we give up in our lives with POTS.

My saving grace is that I REMEMBER what it was like to be 16 .... and truth be told I would have LOVED to go away for the weekend without my mother! So yes, I'm sure she'll be fine with her other friends who are going .... and the teachers who will accompany ... and the other parents who WILL be traveling with their kids. She'll have a blast.

And I'll do my best not to feel guilty.

Keeping the faith,

EM

[Merrill]

Sigh. I feel your melancholy, EM.

Congratulations to your daughter--what a wonderful accomplishment! You're rightly proud...I'm sorry you won't be able to travel with her, but I love how you're thinking about things--from her point of view. (You sound like an outstanding mom... compassionate and understanding.) Maybe you could send her off with a long distance phone card in her pocket and a promise to share the highlights each day?

Take care,

m

[hilfgirl33]

(( HUGS ))

Sometimes I think about the things I miss being able to do with my daughter and it breaks my heart (she is also a wonderful teenager), but then I think that if I didn't have POTS I would probalby definitely be working so I'd be missing stuff for that, and at least now I am always home for her. Small consolation I know but I guess life is not perfect, but you gotta get the good where you can!!!

[ethansmom]

Well congrats to your daughter! That is great...it sounds like she is doing something great for herself =) I agree that from reading your posts you sound like a WONDERFUL mom and I wouldn't be to hard on yourself, especially if she seems not to mind going by herself. I also understand what it's like when you want to be active inyour childrens lives but you can't...on a smaller scale, since Ethan is only a toddler, but still things come up and I wonder what the future will be like, and how me having this illness will change his life as he grows. Last week I ran into a friend in the grocery store who was telling me about some playgroups in our area, and I was very interested in doing something like this with Ethan so he gets around other kids more and outside in the lovely weather that'll be here soon. Then she tells me they do field trips every Friday, to the zoo, or on a hiking trip, etc...and of course my first thought is oh I can't do that!! Hiking? Zoo? Hmmpphhhh. It's so hard. But I'm sure our children have something to learn from these experiences, and all we can do is be there for them unconditionally.

Jessica

P.S. I agree with the previous post that one blessing is being able to be a stay-at-home mom- if I didn't have POTS I'd be working full time and would miss out on on these wonderful changes taking place in my son every day- and I'm thankful for that!

[geneva]

What an honor for your daughter! I hope that one of the other parents will have their video camera and agree to film her presentation (I am assuming there will be one) and give to you. Watching it at home with your daughter may not be exactly the same as being there but I imagine at 16 she might enjoy narrating the video and telling you exactly what she was thinking and doing each frame....a behind the scenes look, if you will.

Sounds like you have raised a wonderful daughter and if so, she will understand and appreciate your not being able to go. But, I can relate to the desire to be there with her. POTS *****, that is all there is to it!

HAve a relaxing day and go easy on yourself.

[Guest tearose]

How are you em? Raising children as you have is something to feel great joy over. Thank you for talking about your daughters success and the way you enjoy her as a person! You should feel deep pride. As a mom, I too understand the mixed feelings that come from their growth away from us and our desire to "be there" for them. I believe it is a far greater gift you gave her by not going. Without realizing it or maybe you do...she will grow much more without you there and she will have a real opportunity to use all those skills you have taught and demonstrated to her over the years. She will come home to you and share the experience with you through her eyes! (It was hard for me to let my son go to something very similar) I think as I tried to explain to my son my thoughts and put what I was feeling into words it was something like..."When you were a baby, you experienced the world through my eyes because you relied on me to take you everywhere. Now that you are out in the world without me, I will be relying on you to come home and share that beautiful new world of experiences with me."

Wasn't it just yesterday that they were little?

With warm mothering thoughts and a hug, tearose

[goldicedance]

Congrats to your daughter for her achievement. I know exactly how you feel and know that it is not good.

My daughter is a competitive iceskater--synchronized skating. Two times I could not go to competitions because I was in the hospital with POTs. The first time, it was going to an Eastern Sectional Competition and the second time to a National Competition.

I also missed out on all the college exploratory trips because I knew that I couldn't keep up and would be totally exhausted.

I know that your daughter understands. I always felt bad for my daughter because she was much younger.

Oh well, we can't do everything and unfortunately must pass on important events.

What a wonderful situation we are in....but we know where we can go for support and encouragement.

Thanks to all the "penners" on this site. It's a shame that we can't get our internists up to snuff on POTS.