Sophia3 Posted August 1, 2005 Report Share Posted August 1, 2005 The acute care hospitalist refuse sto tell our mother she has early Alzheimer's dementia. she is very lucid much of the time with a big story or hallucination thrown in once in a while. "hospitalists" says it's the job of her PRIMARY doc to break the news....but she has no primary as she hasn't seen him in over 3 years.so it is up to my two siblings and I to tell her tonight after she gets home.I think this stinks but I have realized we have to be our own advocates as we can ONLY COUNT on the spirit/intelligence/energy/faith or whatever, within us, when the chips are down.I am not a religous person but if you want to send a prayer or positive thoughts from the Lord, from God, from the great Universal Spirit that ties us all together, PLEASE send them to southwest ohio to my mother. Her name is Juanita. Ask her mostly lucid mind to be OPEN TO SEEING A DOCTOR and TAKING MEDS....our BIGGEST challenge as she despises both.But we will tell her we wish her to live in her house as long as possible and not in a nursing home and right now, she has the choice to make that decision and seek advice from her attorney with me to help her.We hope to talk with her 6:30 or 7pm Eastern time.She is with it enough to want to protect her rights, her financial situation and see her attorney about this.As painful as this will be for US to witness, it will be agony for my mother to realize what is happening to her and the pain she will bring her kids, though we all know she doesn't choose this. But it is very tragic.Thanks for listeningSophia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gena Posted August 1, 2005 Report Share Posted August 1, 2005 Your mother and your family will have have my prayers, positive thoughts and best wishes this evening and as you go forward in dealing with this. I am sorry that you and your siblings have to be the bearer of this news. But hopefully it will be a good thing and your mother will realize she's got a loving and supportive family who only wants the best for her.I hope that you can find a specialist in this area to treat her. There are so many new medicines now that can delay the progression of deminitia if caught early on. There are also many natural methods and supplements to help protect the brain and slow memory loss.I wish you all the best in this difficul time.Hugs,Gena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steph37822 Posted August 1, 2005 Report Share Posted August 1, 2005 oops Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaColumbus Posted August 1, 2005 Report Share Posted August 1, 2005 My thoughts and prayers are with youLisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michiganjan Posted August 1, 2005 Report Share Posted August 1, 2005 Sophia,I will be with you in thought and prayer tonight. When the doctor told me that Jeff has stage 4 cancer he simply stated the fact. Looking back on it, I think that was as good a way as any.The person hearing the bad news will first have to get their mind around it. There may have to be some lag time between just getting the fact and then talking about what must be done and why. Just getting the news is a real stunner. I guess I'm saying don't worry about her reaction to the news. Just let her react however she does and then you can have the planning conversation. You will all get through it somehow. I will be with you in spirit.Michigan Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Julia59 Posted August 1, 2005 Report Share Posted August 1, 2005 I'm sorry to hear this news Sophia. My husbands family went through this. They all held on to eachother and got through. I'm sending prayers your way to help you and your family through this.Hang in there and take care of yourself the best you can.Julie :0) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aprilmarie52 Posted August 1, 2005 Report Share Posted August 1, 2005 I am so sorry to hear that. I am sorry that the doctors are putting this on your family to handle. I will be thinking about you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernie Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 Hi,I agree with Michigan Jan that you first start by the fact and let your mother react her own way.I will be praying for all your family.Ernie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightyMouse Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 Sophia, I hope it went well, and was less traumatic than you anticipated. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunfish Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 sophia - i'm sorry you're not getting support from the medical folk but glad that you and your siblings are in it together. i hope this evening went as well as it possibly could for all involved.:-)melissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funnyfrog Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 Sophia - I just logged on now and saw your message - I hope your conversation with your siblings and mother went as good as could be expected. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morgan617 Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 Sophia, my computer was binked out most of the day. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way. You just need to allow your mom to go through the stages of grief we all do at the loss she is going through. At least she has you and that's so much more than many have. I hope it went okay and keep us informed okay? morgan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roselover Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 Sophia,I logged on late tonight and missed reading your post before you talked to your MIL. But I will pray for you tonight when I go to bed (soon). I too have a MIL with early Alzheimers. She doens't know. She knows she has a hard time with memory and she is not taking a "memory pill" and she thinks it is helping. It IS helping. She visited just last week and though I still see the symptoms, they have actually improved since last fall! I pray your MIL will get on meds soon too.Love Roselover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia3 Posted August 2, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 thank you all and I appreciate your response. my mother took the news extremely well as she suspected something wrong for a long time. My siblings said I did a great job leading the family presentation.I spent the night with my mom and she is mostly her old self but she DOES LIE so that is the problem. If we aren't there to witness it, she can lie about taking the dose.She is still self sufficient but I know the hardest news what will hit as she gets stronger is she can no longer drive. that was something she mentioned in the last 6 months, she knew her driving days were numbered and she never LEARNED to drive until my father died in 1990.We are starting meals on wheels wednesday and my sister in law will be ther for that. She has food in the house and plenty to drink. I finished up some laundry and asked she stay out of the basment. She is truly lucid as she has been for months. The pathological lying has always been a problem but much worse now.Last night she promised to do whatever it took to KEEP HER AT HOME AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. Then, today, kept hedging about if she has to take the medicine&^%$#@!I did cut the risperadal in half because she half fell out of bed last night when I woke her up. Orthostatic hypotension is a problem so we cut her back until we find her a PCP. Also holding off on the Aricept because BOTH cause DROWSIENESS and one causes dizzieness?!?!? we want to keep her clear and indepenedent not a zombie! She is most sensitive to meds so we are giving her just the synthroid and risperdal for a week and see how she does. THEN adding the Aricept, and only a partical dose of that to work up to whole pill.So it's all a long journey one step at a time.I have a consultation with an attorney on Wed because my mom's attorney is out of town for another week. I just want some feedback of what is true and what's not true to protect the house, our mother while she is STILL CAPABLE of making and sharing her decisions.Thanks again for your kind words of support.Sophia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunfish Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 sophia-glad to hear that things went as well as they did last night & that you have a plan moving forward. it definitely sounds like getting a PCP involved is essential ASAP, both for general purposes & especially with all the meds involved. (easier said than done i realize...having just moved i'm in the same boat and am NOT looking forward to it!). i hope the meeting with the attorney goes well.keep on keepin on, melissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaneEyre9 Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 Hi Sophia,I'm so sorry to hear you and your family are going though such a rough time. My mother has been the only caregiver for my grandfather with dementia (among other problems), and it is probably one of the hardest jobs physically, not to mention how tough it is emotionally. My prayers are with you as you work with the lawyer and in finding the right doctor.Kristen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernie Posted August 2, 2005 Report Share Posted August 2, 2005 I am glad that everything went reasonably well giving the circumstances. It is wise to get the attorney's opinion about your rights.Ernie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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