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Help4Me

caregiver kicking me out

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I live with my son who has been my caregiver although he has not done anything except let me live in his house and food.....so no real compassion....or caregiving...but housing and food and I am grateful for that....but now he hates me and wants me out of his life forever....and I have no money....SSI has not come through yet....I don't own anything at all...I have NOTHING...and I love my son but he is being horrible to me...screaming at me and telling me to go to h*** and that he hates me etc etc.....it is horrible how he has treated me the past 5 months since I got so sick with dysautonomia....I am bedridden and I know absolutely no one in this whole STATE....I am all alone here....have lost contact with all old friends who are thousands of miles away anyway.....and I can't travel....what will become of me.....can he legally kick me out.....he says he has every legal right to kick me out and that he never agreed to be my caregiver..etc etc in writing....I am shaking and very sick right now with my HYPER POTS symptoms.....my head is killing me and my heart is going bonkers.....what should I do....

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 Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day but you still need to remove yourself from the home; you can't live where you are unwanted because the stress is going to trigger your symptoms all day long--it's always better to do it by your own choice but sometimes life upends us and we must start over.  Please contact these people--someone will listen and hopefully get you emergency housing sooner than later. https://www.womenshelters.org/

Trudi

 

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There should be a system in this country that actually protects and helps people who are sick. But sadly the system is so messed up. I hope your son will change his mind and start being nicer to you. The worse case scenario is he can try and have you evicted and there are ways to fight that for at least a few months. I don't know how you will fight it alone being that someone will have to show up to court to contest the eviction. As long as you have mail coming to that address your son cannot have you kicked out unless you're being violent (he can have the cops remove you for the night) or he has to legally serve you with an eviction notice. You have to make sure you have mail coming to that address though.  I can't even imagine having to go through all of these medical problems and then have no where to turn. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully your son is just going through a rough patch and having a hard time accepting your current health state. Is there any way you can contact a social worker to come in and help you get some services? That is about all of the advice I can give you. Hang in there. 

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I am totally bedridden  ...can't walk....so if they tried to remove me what would they do send an ambulance...and then drop me off on the street somewhere....he did this to me before when I was in the hospital..and social worker came to talk to me and said there was no place of sick people only shelters....and I would have to be out on the street all day..and in shelter at night...I told them I can not walk without passing out.....so what would I do...just lay in the street.....they basically don't care.....they blame me because I have no friends or family to help me....they find that unbelievable...but it is TRUE.....I have been very sick for 4 years and I live in  a STATE where I never met anyone due to being sick since I moved here....this is where my son is ...he was my only friend and family......

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I contacted those shelters and they cannot help me...they are for people with drug or alcohol problems.....I don't have either....and I am BEDRIDDEN they cannot take in a bedridden person...I don't know what to do...I need a miracle to get healed...or for my son to grow a heart

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Can you contact Adult Protective Services in your state? They may be able to provide some assistance. If you have no money or SSDI you may be eleigible for Medicaid in your state as well. The state department of health and human services may have resources for you too. 

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There may be a program like a group home that may help. Or I have heard of programs that pay your rent for a little while. Try your local housing programs as well. Usually if you are disabled in some way they try to help out quicker. I am sorry your life seems to be turned upside down. Hopefully something happens soon that will help. Good luck. 

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I have CALLED EVERY AGENCY NO ONE CAN  HELP ME>...I am  not a drug addict or alcholicl all the programs are for them....I am all alone and have NO ONE now to help me....I am so scared...I have been crying for hours now and it is not helping my HYPER POTS blood pressure is off the charts

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If there is no one to help you then you have to help yourself. Get up, take a shower, get dressed and sit down and make a list of everything you need to change, rewrite it and put it in order, then ask your son if he would be willing to help you achieve your goals on that list. If you stay in that bed sobbing and feeling sorry for yourself then no one will want to help you. Showing an interest in getting better is going to go a long way to keeping you under anyone's roof.  Shower. Dress. Make a list. Talk. It's a good start. 

 

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I hope you can get cared for there. I think most hospitals have a social services representative that can help you get set up with a roof and appropriate aid.

 

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i'd suggest apologizing to him, asking him to let you stAy intel you get ssi and offer him the back pay when it kicks in. Hope you figure something out best of luck. ( how did my reply get edited?)  

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Roe.....I am in kentucky.....and I went to the ER.....was even sleeping in the waiting room....was seen and saw psych and social workers and none of them could help me.....they said I can't get into a nursing home...not sure why not....and they said you could try a shelter but they are full and only let you stay at night etc etc...basically no help at all......I feel like I am dying....and no one cares...maybe that is just how this disorder makes you feel.....but I am very weak, sick , scared etc etc etc.....went to ER 4 times in 2 days because I could not get my heart down....they say it is anxiety but refuse to give me any anxiety meds......i do not have anxiety at all....I only get upset because they called me a liar....I told the ER doctor my kidney area was hurting and he said quote " now you are just making things up"  what the heck.//??   I am not making things up...I am not lying....he refused to do some blood tests that I thought would shed light on things...thyroid and cortisol...refused to do them....I am very frustrated..they kicked me out of the ER all 4 times and basically said don't come back.

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I live in Kentucky and when my sister in law lived here she had a hard time. They wouldn't listen to her either. Said she was a hypochondriac. Said it was depression. She moved to Louisiana. And she got diagnosed with MS. 

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Thank you for saying that SAHM.....one doctor kept yelling at me and saying I was lying and making things up....how can they get away with that....on the overhead heart monitor that shows your heart rate, o2 , and bp etc...my heart rate was 120 and I showed it to the EKG worker...and she said....that is not your heart rate that is an artifact ???? what ??? I said THAT is my heart rate..she kept arguing with me...I put on my wrist BP and PUlSE monitor and took it and showed it to her and said THAT is my HEART RATE....she told me she was a highly trained professional.  What a nightmare....then she accused me of taking a photo of her when I was calling a POTS friend with my phone.....they said it was against the law to photograph a health care worker....I told her I did not take a photo of her .

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You might try contacting the Little Sisters of the Poor:

 

St Joseph's Home
15 Audubon Plaza Drive
Louisville, KY 40217-1318
502-636-2300

mslouisville@littlesistersofhtepoor.org

 

They take care of elderly poor people, and you do not have to be Catholic (or even religious at all) in order to qualify for their services.

I do not know for certain that they have open space in their facilities, but surely you lose nothing by calling to ask. 

Also, they might know of other resources in the area that the state agencies don't know about.  For example, perhaps there is a volunteer caregiver program, and someone could come into your home to do what your son does not want to do.

 

Here is a link to their website:  http://www.littlesistersofthepoorlouisville.org/

 

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Lily I see you have HYPER andergenic pots....can you tell me more about that....I think that is what I have...I need info to take to the ER with me...they keep accusing me of FAKING my illness.....

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UPDATE ....my son is NOT kicking me out......but he does want me to leave.....so at least that is an improvement...I think he realizes it will be hard to kick me out....I am still waiting to hear from my SSI decision....

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So all their rooms are filled, but they'll take you when there's a vacancy?  That's great!

I'm glad your son is at least a tiny bit less selfish.  Perhaps he will improve with time.

Hyperandrenergic POTS refers to having blood concentrations of norepinepherine (NE) that are unusually high when you are upright.  Blood samples can be taken during a TTT, or your doctor can take samples without the tilting (if he can spare a room for you to lay down for 30 minutes before the supine sample).  That's what the diagnosis refers to.  There are several mechanisms that can cause that high NE.  Sometimes the body makes all that NE in response to some other thing that is wrong (like blood pooling or nerve damage), but sometimes the brain causes it in the absence of other problems.  

Regardless of the mechanism, the body is always in fight-or-flight mode.  Typical symptoms are about the same as anxiety (plus fatigue), but the emotions/psyche is not the cause of it.  The body goes into emergency mode all on its own, or in response to some trigger.  Unfortunately, this can lead to misdiagnoses of anxiety disorders.

People with hyperPOTS might be given the same treatment as regular POTS if there is also blood pooling or low blood volume.  There are also various options to try to lower heart rate or the hyperactivity of the sympathetic nervous system.

Here is a link that might be helpful.

 

 

 

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The doctor was extremely abusive to me..as was the other doctor....both of these men need to LOSE their medical degree...I hope I can stop them....I will do what I can...but they know I am poor and sickly so they count on me being an easy victim for them to harass and belittle and abuse.......

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1 hour ago, Help4Me said:

but they know I am poor and sickly so they count on me being an easy victim for them to harass and belittle and abuse.......

If you let them they will keep doing it to you. Attitude counts for a lot. I will rapidly and assertively, verbally bite the head off of any doctor who tells me I don't have dysautonomia. I've done it and it's a most satisfying` experience. I went today to a doctor I haven't seen in many months and all the current diagnosis with the diagnosing doctor's name for referral went into their files. There was not a single question about any of it. Dysautonomia and wonky symptoms accepted. It was a good visit.

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