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GardenGal

Why do I feel this way?

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Tonight I feel angry. Not over any particular thing.  Overall I'm quite thankful for a beautiful family and loving friends and today have enjoyed the sun, been blessed with enough umph to take a short walk with my children and resting with a good book. However, I have periods of time when I feel like I can't control my emotions. Like out of nowhere there's a huge amount of anger. I'm lashing out, especially at my husband. And as I pray through it, and search my brain for a reason... I can't find anying particular... There's just this rage.  Frankly, it's not my normal and it scares me.

I'm wondering if it's related to eating beef (does that sound crazy?). It also appears that these bouts do not necessarily coincide with the times when my blacking out/GI issues, etc (you know the normal stuff) are flaring up.  

What happens? Ideas? Do others have this? Have you found any triggers? Any good ideas to changing it's course once it starts? Help!

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My irritability and emotional outbursts correlate with blood pooling and high blood pressure.  I experience the irritability FIRST with upright posture, so it doesn't correlate will with my falls, faints, or GI symptoms.  I suspect I have hyperPOTS and have asked for catecholamine testing during my tilt test next month to find out if I'm having high norepinephrine when I am upright.

I wore compression legging for full day today and only got irritable once!  I was shopping, had already been on my feet too long, was standing still to find products/make decision, and my ADHDer child's medication had worn off and he was interrupting me in a way which put my youngest in danger so I couldn't ignore it, so I was standing longer because I couldn't make a decisions due to interruptions, but the longer I stand the more brain fog I experience so then I REALLY can't make a decision and get extremely pissy.  (If I don't recognize the pattern and put my feet up or start walking, I'll have presyncope or physical symptoms similar to a panic attack).  I told my son I was symptomatic, he quit long enough I could decide what to buy, and I started walking agin which got blood moving again.

Lying done with my feet up, especially in a dark, quiet room, for 20 minutes helps.  If my blood pressure is staying high, laying on my left side helps bring it down.  Taking a hot bath and then lying down for an hour or two seems to "reset" my body when it's stuck with high blood pressure, blood pooling, or the acrocyanosis I get in cold temps.

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Thanks BuffRockChick. I'll start checking my pressure when it's going on. My BP is usually so low, it hadn't crossed my mind to do so, but now I'm curious. I'm happy for you that the leggings were helpful! Ug are they a pain or what! Your situation in the store sounds seriously frustrating (and familiar - shall we laugh or cry :-0). Brain fog leads to longer walking in circles in the store leads to curled up in a ball in the car until one can safely drive home without injuring the bouncing wound up exhausted children in the back seat. 

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Hi! When things triggered your emotions and you are aware of that, make an outlet to ease the tension to prevent the worst! You can go out with friends and family. Or try to cook something that your favorite, that can help.

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I definitely had this before my hyper POTS diagnosis with the catecholamines test.  Being on clonidine first, then methyldopa has mostly eliminated it but I still have a short fuse.  Emotional stuff is extremely difficult for me and one of my worst triggers.  

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@p8d I didn't realize POTS will cause emotional outbursts, is this a normal issue due to POTS. I too on occasion get such a short fuse I can't even believe it, and it is usually over nothing.  I am in my diagnosis process now and have one more test Monday(TTT). Short back story: I was sent to a cardiologist for a heart murmur that my OBGYN found and was diagnosed with tachycardia and a leaky valve. He placed me on meds and after a month I became very sick and started having what I now know are "flares" which my Dr is now feeling like I have POTS due to my medical history and current issues. He took me off the medication immediately and set me up for a TTT Monday. I am learning a lot on this site and think this is going to be an invaluable forum for me. 

I will also say I am quite scared of what the future looks like since I love to ride horses and compete in competitions.

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Farmgirl, my understanding, which may not be correct, is that when we are in sympathetic overdrive emotional reactions can happen more easily.  I'm guessing it has something to neurotransmitters and/or hormones which are all out of whack for us.  I know many of us have emotional triggers.  Perhaps someone who understands it better and isn't as brain fogged as I am today can help.  You could also search the forum for "emotional triggers" or something.

My advice is don't be scared. Find out what is going on, get a good diagnosis and a Dr who understands your condition.  There are lots of ways treat this.  Yes, some of us are seriously impaired but many people do well with treatment.  We are here to help.

 

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Thank you so much for the reply! This forum has helped me a lot already and I have only been on here a few days. Fortunately, my cardiologist is familiar with POTS and I should know next week if this is definitely my diagnosis and if there is anything else going on.

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Thanks for 'hearing me' and offering helpful thoughts all.

I think a lot of what scares me is that it feels SOOOO physical. Just these periods of time (lasting a couple hours or a couple days where I'm strangely hot (may run a fever), and feel this crazy rage... don't know how to sort it out. 

Ashc, thanks for the ideas :-). I often find praying in my flower garden, or when all else fails, locking myself in my room for some mommy time out so as not to lash out at the kids is helpful. 

p8d: May you be strong and courageous :-) - we'll do it together! May Monday be helpful. Don't know what you were seeing a gyn for, but my dysautonomia came to a head after a delivery 6 years ago. And though the symptoms are really hard, it was helpful to know more what was going on and begin to have tools to care for myself. 

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Hi All,

As hard as we all work to understand what is going on with our bodies and why it is happening  and how best to manage things, don't forget how your mind is being affected. Just having these symptoms and the frustration of it all-testing, misdiagnosis, medications, doctors difficult advice-"exercise?? But I am so fatigued!! "  We have a right to be angry about all of this but who has the time.? So we suppress until it builds so high we "POP" and a spurt of rage occurs, or irritability or sadness AND IT IS OKay!!!! Its normal and as long as it is "self limited" it will pass. As long as you are safe and others around you are too, its OK to get emotional...sometimes its cathartic ,too

Just thought I would put that out there

Recently, I was found to have hypomanic bipolar depression-I had NO manic episodes, just anger and irritability  and deep dark depression. After some evaluations the diagnosis was made and I was correctly medicated.I am 62 and have struggled with depression since puberty. Last year for the first time in my life I felt "JOY" and I was happy for no particular reason, just was.  So I wanted you to remember our minds responses to stress, crisis, physical change and acknowledge it

Debbie

 

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I think hormones have a lot to do with the anger issues that you describe.  I've kept a really careful record and notice it always coincides with the end of my cycle.  I know it can be awful.  You said it correlates with eating beef?  Do you buy organic beef?  If it is non-organic, it could be the hormones in it that are affecting you.  There are 6 FDA approved hormones in non-organic beef, including testosterone...  just wanted to mention that since  you thought it could be correlated.  Since I've gotten ill, I'm very sensitive to things I wouldn't have been before.  

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Debbie, thank you. I'm sorry I'm just now seeing your post. Thank you for the reassurance and kind words. Things I need to remember. Thank you for sharing your journey. 

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