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joshrandall

Severely Depressed.

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I went round a friends house for a birthday tonight and I found myself really there the whole time just in agony psychologically about the situation, I feel emasculated, many of my friends were congregating in the kitchen and I just realized the limitation's in it all, nor can I really drink as it makes me get dizzy, they all were going out to a night club and I was the only one who chose not to go simply because, I may not get a seat and standing makes me lightheaded, any time I'd of been there, I'd of enjoyed it and got drunk. I'm overwhelmed by the issue, and the fact that no one understands, I really just dont know how to live with it, I have alot of other issues aswell very serious ones, which add to the issue.

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I bet it was frustrating and upsetting. It was good that you did go for a little while. There may be other gatherings where they just play video games or hang out and talk that you can participate in.

Unfortunately, many people don't understand and it is hard, but people on this site, do understand the limitations and frustrations.

My saying is tomorrow is a new day and there's a chance it can be better.

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Of the many challenges with POTS....the one that now says if there is no place to sit have to pass..really stinks missing out on a few drinks and fun...I really miss dancing....maybe you can find a club where you can rent a spot for 8 to 10 ppl and ensure you can sit. At least once in a while...I am missing out, but been lucky with every once in a while getting a reserved sitting. Going out means for me, that day I have to spend a good part resting, if I want a drink, it means water chasers... And next day all day bed and pedalyte...but at least every once in a while can go...

I can not do my hikes which I use to do every weekend either...so I understand the challenge of fun stuff use to do...but I am lucky to have a few buddies are willing to find ways to include me from time to time.m

I hope you can find ppl that you are friends with or can befriend. Sometimes family and friends think I look fine and can't always understand why I have a long list of cants or am way too tired or not feeling well...

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I'm really sorry josh, and like others I can relate. Perhaps, if friends gather in the kitchen you could sit on the sink? It's what I do. It looks quite casual and makes me feel I belong. Not that everybody wants his/her sink to be seated on of course :lol:. I try to think in solutions, which isn't always easy and can't always be done but I like to challenge myself in my desire to "belong"

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Im right with you Josh....and its been really bad lately. When I torture myself, I rehash all the things I used to do....or I look at my 85 year old grandfather do yard work on a 90 degree day...

What helps me is some good indoor easy fun like a pool hall or swimming...usually we can tolerate those things...pool hall....sit down between shots....

Hang in there Josh and come vent whenever you need to!

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Hey Josh, definately can relate to how you feel, I remember when I first got sick going back to college the following year being completely changed internally, and not being able to go drink, stay out late, be with friends as much as I was before, it was very much an uprooting of what my life used to be and a very distinct change in my identity.

I've found I really have to pick and choose who I spend time with and what the occasion is, just because there are so many things I cannot do. I was asked to go snowboarding yesterday by a friend, definately had no ability to keep up with that physically, have also had to turn down going to concerts, golfing, even just going out a second night in a row.

I began just spending time with fewer friends who gave my life more value.

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Thanks for the replies, honestly i just feel, I mean, it's a bit surreal, I just erm, I guess I'm not the strong silent type. People really don't understand this condition and that hurts, they just see you and think you are fine. I guess I just as well feel that my family have sort of let me down, they just don't really care. This is hard, really hard. Thanks for the support and encouragement guys.

:/

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If you feel depressed, maybe it would be helpful to see a therapist? These issues are really complicated and personal to you - and a professional can really help.

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