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Freaked

Feeling Very Low

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Every time I get a flare, it seems like me and those around me are handling it worse. I feel like a huge burden to those around me. My mind is cracking from feeling so sick and the panic. My degree that I worked so hard for is falling apart at the last minute cos in spite of all the extra time I'm just not up to it right now. When I get quite ill, everything that I normally enjoy just makes me feel sicker. I have no POTS doctor atm and getting psychological help is being a very slow process. My parents despise me and I feel like my mind is beyond saving at this point. I just...I don't know. I went to hospital last night again to say all these things but nobody cares. They're going to leave me until I can't get any lower. I just want to go to sleep for a while. Life is very difficult right now.

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When you go to the hospital, is any blood work being done? Are they checking for viruses, infections, or anything? If everything is showing up normal than more than likely you are dealing with a flare. Flares are no fun.

Do you have a blood pressure cuff to take blood pressures? Anxiety can cause high blood pressues but not low ones. Do you have low blood pressure? If so, it might be time to start monitoring this and increase fluids and salt.

I can understand why your life might be complicated. Your parents want the best for you and it's not easy to understand POTS. As a parent it's a rollar coaster seeing your kid go through this.

Keep trying to find a POTS doctor, even a cardiologist will work if he is willing to learn. However, it will help him understand your condition a little more if you could possibly monitor blood pressures and the activities that you are trying to do. It's like keeping a full time medical diary. When I did this for my son, I made it my daily job. I wrote down daily symptoms. I did this for several months and our cardiologist knew my son's condition was really bad with this type of documentation.

Hang in there. It will get better.

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I'm sure your parents love you. They just don't know what to do. The people who don't really know this illness have a hard time handling it sometimes...and sometimes the people who have the most trouble understanding it are close family. You are in the UK? Can you try to at least get a phone consult with a POTS doc in the U.S.? Hang in there. The flares come and go. You're not a burden to anyone although it's a natural thing to think. Things will get better!

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Thanks for the replies. I seem to very much have hyperpots and lately the adrenaline is driving me pure bananas. My heart was 140-160 for hours today even after the hospital gave me a bunch of valium; I'm pretty sure it was more POTS attack than panic attack but I feel like a whimp. I know my POTS is quite severe as it goes, but it doesn't seem to drive anyone else this crazy. Then again, it didn't drive me this crazy until recently. I just don't know what's going on and I can't figure out how much of these feelings are chemical and how much psychological.

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