Lost My Job, Insurence, And Drivers Licence Today

[Racer]

I have been in horrible pain today, then to make things worse I got fired from my job, meaning I lost my health insurance. Then I open up mail to find that my driving privileges have been revoked. People sure do know how to kick you when your down! I dont see myself recovering from this

[sue1234]

I am so sorry! I know any of those is awful to have happen, but all three at once! Do you have someone that can help figure out where to go from here?

[bebe127]

I'm so sorry Racer

Gentle hugs,

Bebe

[looneymom]

So Sorry Racer. You are in my prayers.

Rachel

[kim5204]

wow thats a bad day. Sorry to hear that.

[YolaInBlue]

I am so sorry. I hope things get better for you.

[corina]

I'm so sorry Racer, that is so awful. I hope you have someone to support you and help you through. Sending good thoughts your way

[MomtoGiuliana]

Racer--I am so sorry to see this. You are in my thoughts.

[KareBear]

I'm so sorry to hear you are going thru all this. When I lost my job a few years ago it was very difficult and depressing to me. I went thru every emotion and it still bothers me some to this day. I worked hard to get a license doing a job I loved and it was taken away from me. Things do seem bad now but it does get better, I found it to be somewhat of a blessing because I knew deep down inside I could not work anymore and trying to make it to work each day was a struggle. I called in sick so many times I ran out of excuses. Maybe this is what your body needs right now, time to focus on getting better.

Have you tried to apply for SSDI? There also should be some local organizations that can help you get by if needed also. I am truly sorry you are dealing with this all at once. I hope you can focus more on your health now, get better, and get everything back.

[Bambamjr2013]

Im sorry to hear this. Keep your head up and God Bless ya.

[angelina]

_{Thinking of you today. Will be sending you positive energy while you go through this hard time.}

_{Many of us have been there, it is humbling and a pain in the *** all at the same time. Seek out some local support so you can keep on your feet. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. Most jobs that offer insurance have to offer you COBRA, so make sure you ask your HR contact about filling out that paperwork. Although this means you have to foot the bill for all of your insurance, at least you won't be without. Apply for unemployment today, if you can. I know this sounds like a lot of hassle, but getting the paperwork started will allow you time to figure out your next move. Unemployment has databases of jobs as well as other resources they can hook you in to so make an appointment to speak with a counselor who can point you in the directions you need assistance. They are motivated to get you back to work. Hang in there!}

[Racer]

Thanks everyone

I am going to try to apply for some sort of assistance.

[Racer]

One thing I keep thinking about is how he told all my (remaining) friends about my medical problems, how I am causing my illness myself, etc. He was also very discriminating and sexual harassing. This guy used to be my friend. Now I so badly want to sue them or something, but I know I would just be making more trouble for myself. I hate having to just accept this and not being able to somehow make them pay

[KareBear]

Racer, I can relate to this. I had an employer that did me very wrong before. The problem is it is nearly impossible to prove your side and an employer can alter their records or say they fired you for any legitimate reason. The law is on their side unfortunately and it is so frustrating.

Right now the best thing to do it try your best to move on and focus on taking care of yourself, dont stress over that jerk, it will only make you worse. Take unemployment for as long as needed, that will hit him where it hurts (financially) and by moving on and not showing you feel hurt (like he wants you to feel) will only bother him more I'm sure.

All of this is unfair and everyone knows it but hopefully you can now take more time to get yourself better and focus on YOU. I hope it gets easier for you, hang in there.

[Jan]

I don't think it would hurt to talk to an attorney, one that specializes in disability. Find one that you don't have to pay unless you win. That way they can help you get SSDI AND sue the jerk who fired you, harassed you and broke confidentiality. . I am not sure from your post if you can still work, but if not, then you should get SSDI, if so, then you should be able to get something from your past employer. Your employer is not allowed to discuss your medical condition with anyone without your permission.

I know this is depressing but try to think that it will get better. I was rejected for disability and SS and had to fight when I was at my sickest and it really is rough, but things did get better.

[Racer]

I have no choice but to accept it all. I am stuck in such a deep hole and dont have the energy or motivation to fight any of it. The problems affecting my life are much more complicated and depressing then I can describe. I have always lived in the grey area of being to disabled to get a decent job, but not disabled enough to not work. All the jobs I have had, they hired me as "that dumb guy we can send out in the rain to dig a ditch". For me, going on disability is sort of like giving in, it is not a option. The people who judge me based on how smart they think I am would win.

What is a person to do when they are to sick to keep a job, but cant accept going on disability?

[Jan]

Maybe you can accept that for now, just for now, your job is to get well. Get disability if you can and then use your time to concentrate on exercise, eliminating stress in your life and being positive. Your goal can be to get back to work but not working a job for awhile may be the only way you can accomplish that. It isn't giving up to ask or need help. Working on your health isn't a bad thing.

[KareBear]

I never wanted to have to stop working either but it got to the point I would run out of excuses for being sick and started moving jobs often to keep from getting fired because of so many hospitalizations and absenses. Eventually i couldn't go a whole week without missing a day of work and I was always late, and the days I did make it I was becoming dangerous behind the wheel driving and blacking out.

So sometimes the choice is made for us and we have to accept we cannot work now. It is hard to accept but we have to. Being on disability doesn't reflect on who you are as a person or how smart you are, it just means your illness makes ot unsafe or impossible to work or keep gainful employment at the time. You can always work part time hours while on disability so if you start to get your health under control you cam attempt easing back into the work place.

It takes so long to get disabilty most of the time, it took me 3yrs, so you dont want to delay applying. You can always change your mind later if your health improves. If anyone judges you based on your illness and doesn't see you for who you are (not what you do) then they aren't worth being around.

It is very hard giving up a career and it took me a long time to accept I couldn't do it anymore but deep down I knew I couldn't and knew I had to rely on help. It has helped my life tremendously because now when I have bad days I can take care of me without the added stress of work or worrying about my job. This may be a blessing in disguise for you. I wish you so much luck amd do hope things start looking up for you.

[Racer]

Jan, MedicGirl, Thanks for the advice

My post and my problem with working has as much to do with having asperger syndrome and learning disabilities as it does being sick from dysautonomia. I might be able to get healthy enough to try to get a new job, but the aspergers and LD have always been the main issues preventing me from getting a good job and keeping them. In the past I went threw vocational rehabilitation twice and received help from a living skills trainer. I exhausted all the help available for these issues. That basically got me dead end jobs from people who were sympathetic only or just wanted dirt cheap labor. I really did have a dead end job digging ditches in the rain! I want a job that makes me feel like I am worth something. My standards are not very high... dignity would be high on my list.

I first learned I was "different" when I entered the first grade and was thrown into the special education system. From that point the focus was on what I couldn't do. The focus of the teachers was to fix me. At some point, the focus of other students was to point out my issues, call me names, typical childhood bullying. At some point around 12 years old I decided I didn't care much about life anymore. Probably the first time I ever became really depressed. I lived in a abusive house, and on a constant bases my dad would call me the "r" word because he knew it hurt me so badly to be called that. As you can imagine I had 0 self esteem.

I was never given any opportunities, couldn't go to college, etc... I graduated high school with no skills to get a job or live life independently. After high school I was in the worst depression ever and it took me awhile to pull myself together and claw myself out of that. I have accomplished many great things since then, but have yet to get a good job.

I am okay with going on disability because of dysautonomia, but I feel like I have failed on the other aspect. If I go on disability or something, I feel like "they" have won. "they" is all the people threwout my life who put me down or didn't believe in me. This job was another failure, and it is extremely hard for me to handle that.

I know I should be thinking about things differently, but when you have grown up thinking about things one way, it is hard to change.

[MomtoGiuliana]

Racer--you express yourself very well in writing so I think you must have more ability than some have given you credit for. I'm sorry so many have doubted you including your own family. That makes things very difficult. Keep in mind many people go on disability for varying periods of time. You need this time to get well. Perhaps it would be helpful to see a therapist who could talk with you about all of these issues.

[Racer]

Racer--you express yourself very well in writing so I think you must have more ability than some have given you credit for. I'm sorry so many have doubted you including your own family. That makes things very difficult. Keep in mind many people go on disability for varying periods of time. You need this time to get well. Perhaps it would be helpful to see a therapist who could talk with you about all of these issues.

I am much better at expressing myself in text then I am verbally. Throw in stress and I totally freeze up verbally. My brain is not wired for conversation. During conversation I tend to freeze up when I need to process and respond to questions or keep the conversation going. I also don't do very well at all with handwriting, spelling, grammar, and math. It seems that these are generally skills required to get a "good" job. Past jobs I believe they made decisions to hire me not knowing anything about my disabilities, with misconceptions I had a intellectual disability or something. Ultimately I was mostly fired for "poor communication", and the other issues just added fuel to the fire.

The communication problems also cause me trouble with doctors visits and getting proper treatment. It all causes it to be harder for me to even go apply for assistance, and the thought of even applying for disability seems like a overwhelming task. I need help to go apply for assistance, and it is one road block I have hit several times in the past.

It is probably a good idea to follow everyone advice and go on disability. I just cant get the feeling of failure out of my head. I should probably see a therapist, but I wont, because it is a slippery slope of them forcing treatments and options on me that I do not want

[KareBear]

I believe you can find help at the social security office and they can help you with the forms and filing. I would give them a call. There are many disabilities that require having an agent, family member or friend fill out the application. It would be worth calling or going to your local social security office to find out.

I am so sorry to hear how difficult things are and have been for you. It sounds like you have been treated unfairly.

[MomtoGiuliana]

Racer--a therapist might not push medications. they are typically not doctors for one thing so cannot diagnose or prescribe meds. There might be a life crisis center type of organization in your community that provides such services on a sliding scale to make it more affordable.

It sounds like you need an advocate who can help you communicate with doctors and other providers right now. Would it help to write out questions and concerns/symptoms in advance of meeting w a doctor?

In the long term, maybe you could look into work you could do that involves more written and less verbal communication. I have a feeling that there are things you would be good at. My daughter's best friend has Asperger's so I am aware in general of the challenges (and the strengths) it presents.

[angelina]

Racer, where do you live? If you don't feel comfortable sharing in this forum, private message me. I have worked in Case Management for social service agencies in the past and may be able to get you plugged into services close where you live.