Do you have any funny POTS/medical stories?

[roelse]

Humor is a life-saver for me. It helps me out when I've been stuck on the floor for hours unable to get up, or stuck in bed for days. It also helps with all the medical procedures and people I had to endure before finally being diagnosed. I tell my friends I'm not a stand-up comedian; I'm a "lie-down" comedian. Sometimes I think of the most hilarious things when I'm lying there but can't tell anyone because I can't talk then. When I finally get up, I forget all my really good lines. My humor is gravitational. Maybe it's another POTS symptom. : )

Sometimes I just wish doctors could see with what "professional skill" and efficiency I handle my episodes. I've had them my whole life and was a closet episoder so never told anyone or brushed it off until just a few years ago. Because of that I became very good at entertaining myself mentally while I was "stuck" (on the floor, unable to open eyes or talk). If they could only get a mike hooked to my brain at those times, I know I'd become famous. I tell myself some wonderful stories. : )

I like to occasionally imagine doctors bestowing me with a medal for handling my episodes so excellently. I'm convinced if they knew what really went on during my episodes they'd fall back in their chairs from shock or they should. There's nothing like imagining doctors humbly impressed and stupiefied by one's suffering to cheer you up. Nothing like a good ol' self-pat on the back to getting you going again. If you don't cheer yourself on, who else is going to do it?

Well, I apologize for my present warped humor, but, you see, I'm sitting up.

Sarah

[MightyMouse]

One of the medical things that still cracks me up happened during a test at a big-name hospital. I was supposed to stand for an HOUR...off meds. Yeah. Well, about 45 minutes into it, I'm standing, but my body is trembling all over, I'm pale, sweating and my heart rate was through the roof. The nurse was taking my bp periodically, and this time she pumps the cuff up at least 5 times and is mumbling "that can't be right, it only says 30"--she then called in the doctor and told him there was something wrong with her bp cuff. He takes my bp and looks up at me (I'm still standing, wobbling a LOT, but standing). He takes it a couple of more times, and looks confused. He turns to the nurse and says "your cuff is not broken, her blood pressure is 30, but I don't understand how she's still standing up."

Yeah, me either.

The sweet part was that at the end of the test, he sat down and talked to me for a while. I think he was completely shocked that I could be conscious and talking with a bp that low. He asked me how I manage to get out of bed each day and function--and I told him "I don't know, I just do."

When I want to make myself laugh I just think of that nurse's confused face. Nina

[Louby]

MM - I love your story, i have had similar situations in hospital....

I agree the best way to handle this illness is with Laughter, although at times this can be incredibly difficult.

I have a top five of places I have suffered Syncope, or funny situations with POTS

1) Amsterdam

2) A very posh restaurant, with a glass of champagne in hand

3) The coffee machine at work

4) The shower

5) Hospital

All of which can be told with a sense of humour, when I look back at them. I'll tell you about Amsterdam, I am always torn between 1 and 2. I'm still quite embarrassed by the restaurant, (happened a couple of month ago, and invoved getting champagne in my hair) I will include this when I write my story, which I am working on as a form of therapy.

The situation in Amsterdam took place almost two years ago, at this point I had not been fully diagnosed. Lucky for me I was with my then boss, who was fabulous, and two close friends - they all knew of the problems I had been facing and were all very concerned for my health, they had already experienced several episodes of me passing out in odd places.

So we were walking along by the river, and happened to be standing outside the most popular "coffee shop" in Amsterdam, trying to decide what to do next. I remember starting to feel incredibly thirsty and sick, and mentioning it to my colleague who at this point I could hardly hear or see. (it always amasses me quite how clam I remain.) I remember him looking at me rather strangley and in response saying

"are you ok,,,"

"yes I'm fine, I just don't feel too well right now"

apparently I said this with pure conviction. The next thing I know, my colleagues face went a lighter shade of pale and suggested I sit down, I took one look at him

" I think I shall lie down"

Promptly my legs, like jelly by this point had disappeared, and my head was crashing down towards the cold stone floor. I have no recollection of this but this is apparently what happened...

My boss, decided that I really shouldn't hit my head on the floor, and he felt the most appropriate action in this case was to adopt a David Beckham style, by turning round to face me, and to treat my head like a football, he caught my head with his foot. My other colleague caught my sunglasses, whilst the other caught my bag... Then I seemed to attract every human being in a ten mile radius, most of whom decided I must have been in the grasshopper and was just another tourist who had taken advantage of the more relaxed local laws....

Camera flashes proceeded

My female friend, tried to place me in the recovery position. several people then decided to call ambulances, and the owner of the grasshopper appeared with a glass of pink fluid, which had about 10 spoonfuls of sugar... I then started to come round, with no idea of what the heck had just happened, a mad panic surrounded me, I was freezing cold, felt sick and so confused yet still managed to mumble "where are my sunglasses, I had them in my hand"

My boss and friends were brilliant, they refused the pink liquid, and gave me water only. Once i felt better they calmly moved me away from all the commotion - it was so embarrassing... not to mention so frightening

My colleagues were fantastic, they didn't moan about the change in plans, we spent the entire trip in the lounge of the hotel, talking and drinking water - they were so sweet and they made me laugh. We often still joke about the different places I have passed out, and about getting little plaques - LJ passed out here.

Unfortunately things have changed within my company, the people have changed, once I was diagnosed they seemed to think I would be cured - I have to hide my condition and pretended I'm ok, I had forgotten how supportive the people I used to work with were.

[MightyMouse]

Hey, I've passed out in Amsterdam too... oh, but that wasn't from POTS I had a VERY good time there for New Year's 1998 turning 1999. We did, in fact, "party like it's 1999."

I have a bad habbit of passing out while mowing the lawn or gardening. I'm sure half the neighbors must think I'm a drunken lush or something!

Nina

[Guest tearose]

A recent story: I was sick for weeks. Naturally, the house was very messy and I wasn't able to cook dinner. Dinner is very important to my family because it is the one time of day we are all together. So I made it a point none-the-less to somehow always have food on the dinner table...chicken take-out one night, pizza take-out another, chinese food another, leftovers, and more fast food take-out and more leftovers. I made sure to always get the paper plates and plastic utensils and paper cups they offer free too! My family appreciated my effort and always would inquire "where I got the food from". Life went on like this for about three weeks. Finally one early afternoon I felt less short of breath and managed to go to the market and shop for groceries! I came home and felt strong enough to toss the beef in the oven, make mashed potatoes and cook a package of frozen string beans . I set the table with real dishes and glasses! I even cleaned up all the cooking pots and pans before my family came to the dinner table! When everyone came to the dinner table I was quietly excited about them tasting my home cooked food. Boy, was I surprised when my family asked "where did this food come from"? My family looked around the tidy kitchen and looked at the tasty meal before them and were in disbelief!!! "Where did this come from?, I replied, I made it myself!" It took them a few minutes to believe; my son even looked into the trash for any signs of take-out containers. We all got a good laugh at this. It took me a good day or two to recover from all my energy expenditure but it was worth the laugh!

[roelse]

One of my recent moments was when I was taken from my home to the ER by the paramedics. After I had recovered and could talk and walk again (listed in order of importance), the nurse who was discharging told me I could remove the hospital gown and leave. . . well, I didn't have a stitch with me! When I told her, she got real quiet and I could see her thinking I was a streaker or worse. (I had collapsed in the bathroom.) I put her mind at rest.

She allowed me to go home in the gown.

[JacobyD]

I just got back from a doctor's visit at the hospital a few minutes ago.

My wife was pushing me down the hall in my wheelchair when a nurse said to me "Wow! It's not even Valentine's Day yet and you are already getting the royal treatment!".

I smiled at her and replied "I know! And I'm not even sick. I work here!".

[MightyMouse]

Okay Dan, what were you doing in the hospital? Huh? Inquiring minds want to know. Okay, Mighty wants to know. Nina

[JacobyD]

OK Mighty. Here's the scoop:

I had an appointment with my neurologist and am trying to get my ongoing throat problems straightened out. I talked to her about Levsin (actually sublingual Nulev) and if its OK with my GI doc I am going to give it a shot.

I am also set up for another modified barium swallow (yuck) and and EMG on the nerves in my throat (ouch).

My neuro also found an EKG that was given to me 2 months after I crashed that showed that I had a small heart attack! None of the docs ever mentioned that to me! Fortunately all of my subsequent EKGs, ECHOs, and a stress test all show my heart to be in great shape.

I also discussed with her my possible participation in a Clinical Study and/or Trial on Dysphagia at NIH.

All in all a really fun day! Hope that answers your question ! See ya at the pond Nina!

-Dan

[MightyMouse]

Ribbit...

trying to break into the top ten...only at 11 (for those who aren't getting what I'm talking about, it's ToadGames, of which Dan is a prince among toads)

Nina

[Dawg Tired]

Well, I was working for an insurance company - yes - it was medical insurance - and I had not been diagnosed but it was common knlwledge through the company that I was having real problems. People had found me lying in stairwells, bathrooms, hallways, and sometimes dozing over my computer. It had been deemed okay for me to go lie down in a secluded spot of the department where I could elevate my feet. They even had a phone installed in this out-of-the-way area. One day the President (yes, of the United States) was visiting town and was going to tour several small businesses. As I was lying in my "cubbyhole" a Secret Service agent popped around the corner and stopped short; then SLOWLY backed out. I guess they were just doing a "previsit" or something. I hope I wasn't the reason the President didn't come see the company. I wondered if they wrote a report or if they were talking to their wrist radios - "Don't come here - employees are laying down on the job! Not much productivity here!"

[denabob]

I'm really glad to see that I'm not the only one who is "entertaining" the public with my lack of control over which floor I happen to land on! I was (pre-pots) a letter carrier for the usps , you have no idea how many yards and porches I have woken up on. The most interesting was when I finally learned my warning signs and decided to take myself back to the post office so that I wouldn't scare any more of my customers. Well ,I made it to the office but only to the loading dock. Due to "hightened security" we cant get in without ringing the bell to get the doors unlocked first. I rang the bell and the next thing I know was surrounded by my co-workers and ems (the fire dept. happened to be next door) They couldn't read my bp it was so low and my heart rate wouldn't pick a number and stay with it. They wanted me in the hospital but I knew it wouldn't help (been there...done that!) I was tickled that I wasnt bleeding and could speak. The "sympathy" look on everyones face is priceless! I cant get them to realize I'm not some super human just this has become a way of life for me and as long as I dont get hurt with the fall I can handle it. I do like your idea of "lay down" comedian though my friends dont seem to find it humorous when I make fun of them for freaking out on me. We have to stay light hearted or we'd go crazy!!Thanks for keeping us reminded how good it feels to smile!!!!!!

[divine spark]

Here's a site you might enjoy as it relates to the brain fog so many of us experience:

http://www.geocities.com/cfsdays/follies.htm

I stumbled across a chat room in December just before Christmas with a lot of very nice and witty people. It's addictive. I have laughed more in the last month than I have in years. On three nights in one week I was still laughing after I went to bed. It has really helped me through a very difficult time.

[roelse]

I like to joke that I'm a carpet and tile inspector. I've inspected flooring all around the world, in Holland too, actually but in the extreme southwest.

[Guest tearose]

After a spell of being in the house and unable to do much of anything...last saturday I felt like getting out. I knew it was not safe for me to drive cause I still felt weak, but I wanted to "go out and get my haircut". I called the local hair salon and made an appointment for several hours later. There was no one around to help me get out so called the local taxi company and ordered a cab. The taxi came on time and five miles and ten dollars later I got to the salon. It felt so good to get out and do this for myself! Once again though self guilt came creeping back because I spent so much on a taxi to go such a short distance...I felt increasingly terrible that I spent that money on a taxi. Afterall, I can't work and now I would need to spend another ten bucks to get home! Trying to figure out a way to work through this bad feeling I came up with an idea! When I was done at the salon, I walked to the pizza place just next door and asked if they did local delivery? When they said "yes" I then asked "if I order a pizza would you deliver it and me to my home?" They said "sure" and I felt so much better! Now I would get home and have dinner all for a reasonable cost! I am aware still have issues to work on about not working and money but the good part is that I managed to be creative in spite of these funky challenges! tearose

[Dawg Tired]

Now THAT was a smart solution!

[geneva]

Tearose, I am just trying to imagine the look on the delivery person face when he hears there is a large pepperoni AND a small WOMAN to go!!! Good for you for getting out. There is nothing like a good haircut to make you feel alive again.

[goldicedance]

All these posts really help boost my spirits as I sit at home in a potshole (I like that expression).

I particularly liked Tearose's creativity. Perhaps next time you can try ordering a pizza and then when the pizza arrives you can conjole the driver into taking you back to the pizza place and then you can get your hair cut. (no taxi expense). You can also reverse the trip and get another pizza or subs to take home.

I have 2 experiences--many, many years ago I was a bridesmaid. I was about to faint and was holding on to the bow of the bridesmaid in front of me. Finally, the father of the bride noticed that I was about to keel over. He gave up his front row seat. Someone had smelling salts and that helped. Who would carry smelling salts with them? Another experience was fainting through a glass door in a hotel in southern Spain. You can't imagine the sound of the glass breaking. I didn't realize what had happened. Fortunately another diner at the hotel was a doctor from Austria who came to my assistance. I had really broken up my chin when I landed on the glass. He put my face back together with butterfly bandages as there was not a hospital in the vicinity. The whole week we were touring around people seemed to stare at my husband thinking perhaps he had socked me in the chin. That was not the case. He is a very caring, loving and supportive spouse of 33 years.

Moving on, perhaps all of us can contribute stories. That would help eliminate some of the loneliness we may feel, give us a laugh, and assure us that we are not alone in our trials and tribulations.

By the way, Nina...I refused the hour standing test. If I could stand for an hour, I wouldn't need the test. The doctor was really upset with me!

[corina]

Nina and Louby,

It's so strange to me you both have been to Amsterdam. Well I think strange is not the word I'm looking for but I can't find another word for it. I live a 15 minutes drive from there. It made me think that if anyone of you guys come to Amsterdam I would come to Schiphol (Amsterdam Airport) and welcome you! So, who's next?

Corina

[morgan617]

this is not about me really, but it was pretty funny. i was doing the usual couch spud thing when my son walked in from school. he has juvenile arthritis, crohn's and hyperparathyroidism. he was wandering down the hall towards the bathroom and i asked how he was doing. in a very languid voice he replied, the fiery flames of perdition are resting in the chamber of my anus, and proceeded into the bathroom. it kind of puts things in perspective i guess. he can croack me up more than anyone. morgan

[Guest tearose]

Laugh at this seven second experience!...

I hate feeling cold. So for a recent visit to the doctor I remembered to bring socks so when I took off my low compression support hose, and put on the paper gown, I could at least keep my feet warm.

Things proceeded quickly and when done, the doctor said to go to the office for discussion after I changed back into my clothes. I put myself together as quick as I could and went to the office trying to remember all those important things like take notes, ask questions, listen to answers. After we were done talking we said good-bye and I went on my way.

After walking for a bit down the office hallway I noticed a funny feeling at my right foot. I looked down to see one foot of my pantyhose!!!

In my haste to dress quickly, I forgot to remove my socks! I had scrunched down the pantyhose and left them in my jeans! I hopped back into my jeans pulling them up and on and leaving the pantyhose inside the legs!

I quickly reached down and pulled on the foot and lo and behold the darn thing was one end of the loooong whole pair of pantyhose that I had to pull and pull and pull and pull until finally the other side came out! It seemed like I pulled for minutes, it was probably all of seven seconds.

It was the looongest seven seconds of my life!

I felt so embarrassed yet I laughed so hard. My heart remained calm enough to get me to the comfort of my car where I sat in disbelief laughing till tears streamed down my cheeks and my heartrate monitor beeping at 143!

That is the last time I will "step out" of my hose that way! take care all, tearose

[morgan617]

A long time ago before I was diagnosed, I had a real problem tolerating drugs, I still do. I got a drug that caused seizures and a hospital stay. When I got released I was still a fuzz ball, so the doctor told my hubby to give me the meds and how much. My poor hubby gave me twice the dose he was told to. When I went in for a recheck, I walked under my own steam, but while sitting there waiting, it just hit me, as it had a cumulative effect. When they called me back, I was walking, or floating down the hall, I remember my doctor was standing at the desk and I turned my head to look at him, he was looking at me with this weird expression and then BAM, total face plant, couldn't even get my arms up. They drug me/carried me into a room where there was a wheel chair and it got stuck in the door and my doctor was cussing and I was laying across my hubby's lap. I do not remember this, but my hub said when my doctor bent down to try and talk to me I told him he was the most beautiful man in the world! While my head is in my husband's lap. I've always had a crush on him, so it doesn't surprise me, but talk about mortification when I found out. Fortunately, my hubs was great about it. morgan

[StaceyYount]

You guys have made me smile and I needed it. Sad that we have to laugh at this but glad we can anyway...

I have 2 stories

I was in a hospital in Orlando and getting a colonoscopy. I guess when I came out of the anesthesia I started telling all these jokes. I guess I cracked the nurses up because later they came in and asked me if I remembered and I said no. Still don't remember the jokes but I guess they were funny. Maybe I am a closet or floor comedienne too! LOL

The second is that once I went to my doctor for a demerol/phenergan injection for a headache and we got this brilliant idea that when I got home before I went to sleep I would take a shower. Well all I remember is saying to my husband I am going to faint. Faint I did , ambulances came ... Anyway the funny part is that every time we go to the doctor now and he is going to give me a injection he says ?now no showers now, it is bad form for a patient to leave your office and faint!?

Stacey :-)

[ginger]

Here's one from last week at Mayo...

I was all hooked up for pelvic floor biofeedback. Electrodes on either side of the anal opening and one up on my sacrum. The idea is watch the EMG monitor and get your number as close to zero as possible. Then learn... The pelvic floor is relaxed when you feel like you're gently passing gas. Mind you both the phys therapist and a student are working with me and I'm completely naked under a sheet.

Well, I rolled on my side to work on some moves in that position and sure enough, the real thing started rumbling below... the real gas. I looked at the monitor and my numbers soared from the pressure. There was no hiding it from the therapists, so I had to fess up. They laughed and said, "just let it blow." Thank goodness for the sheet draped over my backside!

Ginger

[avais1]

My gosh, you people! I am laughing so hard right now, I have tears coming down my face!

I'll share one that involves my late beloved cat. We had just come back from a week long vacation, and my mother had accidentally locked my cat away from his litter box. However, my cat was truly exceptional, and he went in the bathtub. What a good boy! My mother cleaned up the mess, and praised the cat.

Later that evening, I was passing out on the bathroom floor. I woke up on the floor, but was too nauseated to move. My cat came in to check on me, blessed beast that he was, and then went into my mom's room and "yowled" loudly to get her out of bed, as the cat knew the bathroom floor was an unusual place for me to be in the middle of the night.

Anyway, I was parked for the night on the bathroom floor. During moments of lucidity, I thought I could smell a faint glimpse of cat dung (NOT FUN when you are already nauseated!) I looked around, but didn't find anything. At any rate, I was camped out on the bathroom floor for another 6 days, and my mother COULD NOT find where the smell was coming from. On day 7, I attempted to get up, but fainted again, and landed on my little brothers cap that had been laying on the floor for a week. I then flipped the cap OVER, and there was the culprit! My cat had always hated my little brother, as the cat was there first before the brat was born. The cat went to the bathroom in the bathtub, wiped his butt on my brothers cap, AND THEN FLIPPED IT OVER HOPING NICK WOULD PUT IT ON HIS HEAD!!!!!

Now that's a smart cat He stayed with me for all 27 days I lived on the bathroom floor, and was with me for 20 years.