update

[sunisshining]

Hi all,

so, here's the news:

my general doctor at the health center talked to BOTH of my parents like forever on the phone. she thinks i was catching something just as i was starting to feel tired from the pots, too. because my red blood cell count went down again. she said this can happen when you are fighting something especially since i don't have iron stores, yet (even tho the cardiologist said i did..i think..but i don't listen to him from last weekend on -this is what i'm saying, not my gen dr...lol). so my dr. also said that i was just hitting a low point and that she did notice i had lost weight. i didn't look horrible, but she could tell. (i actually can't tell and can never tell about my weight..i only acknoweldge it when people tell me ...but i really can't tell maybe because i don't look in the mirror much). so, she also said that she wrote the letter to the disability place and that she called my cardiologist AT HOME to figure out if he'd sent the documentation to the disability center. he said he dictated it to his secretary and it should've been sent. so, she said that she would try to ask the drc why they still needed his (she's the head dr. at the student health center). and she told my parents that when my stomach gets better again (it's there - i'm back to normal food!!!!) i need to take my iron again cause i got anemic again because i don't have iron stores so as soon as my body starts battling something, my blood cell count will get low. sigh. she also said that for me it would be best to restart the lexapro at the low dose once my stomach is better (to see if it is what makes me sick or if it just pushed my nausea over the edge once i had already been catching somethiing). she said that if i take it at a higher dose it can start working pretty quickly, almost immediately since she treats people for depression with it but she says she thinks since i'm probly sensitive to it, we'll start at the low dose again. but that if i ever need anything to ask her and she'll help and, yeah. and that she doesn't like the quarter system cause when kids get sick they really get so behind in school and don't have time to take care of themselves.

so, as far as my sleep study, i'm bummed - i have mild sleep apnea. had to go for their "surgical consult" that they wanted me to go to. apparently normal episodes of stopped breathing is under 5 per hour, and i had 12.5 per hour and mild is 5 to 15. so they want me to try sleeping with this mask that blows air into my nose for two months. and if it helps they can consider nose surgery. but that there doesn't seem to be a problem in my throat except maybe my tongue is big..i dunno. the surgeon came in for two secs, gave me his order, and left. it was raining and cold, my sis got a flat before we left my dorm parking lot so i had to ride my bike and got so even more exhausted to go there and hear the great news. at least i don't have bad sleep apnea, but i DON'T wanna sleep with an air mask....GRRR. but i don't want surgery...especially since i'd have to have this mask 2 months and i get it in july when i have to stay overnight and they "titrate" it to get the right pressure for me.....grrrrrrrrrr. that'd mean that if i have to have surgery then it'd be right around when school's starting. but i could have it over winter break. i mean, they say sleep apnea gets worse with age, but i hope i'll just get better once my pots and anemia get treated and i can forget about the sleep apnea. i mean, it's mild. oh...and i have to sleep on my side..like that's gonna happen - i always fall asleep on my stomach. i can try, but i only fall asleep on my stomach unless i am so tired i can't move and then fall asleep on whatever position.

this is getting long.

i was gonna go to a couple of my friends' softball game. my friend is starting pitching tonight! she is 13-2 and has a really low era (earned run avg). they are so nice and supportive. but i was too tired and it's freezing outside. i was gonna try and go anyhow cause i love them so much, but our other friend convinced me not to and that my friends would rather i rest ( i knew that but wanted to try anyhow). so i'm lying on my bed. i'm going home this weekend! i will miss my friends, here, but i will love the couch at home and my own bed. i guess i also won't be tempted to do stuff that will make me..collapse. i love my friends sooooo much. i went to classes today and got so exhausted but liked it cause i've missed classes. my TA for one of my classes was soooooooooooo nice and my other teachers are cool too. the psych profs are probly the least understanding - go figure...lol

so, anemic again, pots as always, and mild sleep apnea (that maybe i'll just ignore?..i don't wanna have it. i don't wanna have anything, but a mask? surgery? and they might not even work. but i guess i have to try. i'll talk with the 'rents (my parents), tho. they always know the answer...or....well, they know the right gut instinct.

so i'm resting. have decided i'm gonna be behind on work all quarter but oh well. i need to stop telling myself "catch up!" cause it's not gonna happen cause i barely have the energy to not fall more behind. but i am better than i was, so i'll think of the positives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i have a feeling i'm doing much better than lots of you, so i won't complain!

but i've really learned to love life so much. i mean, think about it: there are so many beautiful things full of love - friendship, family, God.... oh some of my friends from my bible study brought me a journal and a card last night! so sweeet!

hugs,

i'm tired and should stop wasting energy typing..i've typed too much, but ur way more than worth it.

i hope u are all well. if u want to update me about how ur doing, please do. u can always send me a personal message, tho, too! i like hearing how everyone is doing and then i can pray for you, too!

sending you love, hugs, prayers,

sun

[Sunfish]

hi sun -

i know you posted more recently about the lexapro rxn, but i couldn't let your post go unanswered!!! i don't have any grand wisdom to offer, but just wanted to send a hug your way & let you know that i "hear" your frustration. and i totally get (and am sure i'm not the only one) the feeling of things just piling up one after another in terms of diagnoses & the fact that one problem can so easily set another off before we can even bat an eye. so...hang in there. i'm glad you at least figured out that the med was part of the problem.

:-)melissa