Rsvp For Your Kids Party

[bustersacc11]

My daughter is having a birthday soon. My wife and I decided to invite her class for the first time. Half have not responded and it is past the date that we asked to get back with us. I don't know...maybe it is me but I think it is rude not to reply. The courtesy of simply replying to a simple request so we can make sure the place we are having it, we give them a correct head count, enough food, party favors,etc. I never thought of not responding to a RSVP whether it was to inform them of my regrets or I will be attending.

What really burns me is my daughter plays with this one girl everyday and really likes her and tells me everyday that she is coming to her birthday but they have not gotten back with us. The girl is cute and nice. Too bad her parents don't have some of their daughter's attributes. Let me explain from my experience these parents for you. She is a stay at home mom (husband is self employed). Young couple with a lot of assets. Estate home, nice cars, clothes,etc.. So clear to me that what they have was given to them not earned. However, she thinks she is one of the pillars of our school community. The husband never says hello to anyone and appears arrogant. The school is mostly made up of lower to middle income families, with a few well off families (by the way stick together). I don't understand why they don't go somewhere else of more prestige. Anyway, when my daughter started to play with her I got concerned because I could see that these parents really think they are the cats meow. I could sense that my daughter and my wife and I are not good enough for them. Reinforced when my wife took our daughter to her party. She was not good host, rude to my wife, never said thank you for the gift or coming. I think you get with what we are dealing with. Trust me, these parents are not letting me down by not coming but a little girl that doesn't understand why she is not coming. That breaks my heart and makes me angry. I have always smiled and said hello but I don't know if I can hide my true feelings anymore despite having possibly another 8 years with this family.

Another family, I just spoke to a dad from her class and he was saying about how they got the invite. I remember saying just let us know what you decide. Day before that we ran into his wife at the store and she never said anything. Really people. I know we all have the same horrible constraints on our time but some people really come of like the world revolves around them.

I could go on-on with my isolated occurrences with these people. My daughter is just so excited about having a party and I just want it to be everything that she imagines it is going to be.

In conclusion, Any parents out there relate to my RSVP situation or advice on how to keep a smile on my face when I have to see these non-RSVPers?

[MomtoGiuliana]

I think this happens frequently. I have had the same problem with never hearing from some parents--sometimes they show for the party but mostly they don't. Typically most who will attend will call prior to the party, but this might be just the day prior rather than by your requested date. It is annoying and hard to understand but I think some people do not understand what RSVP means, or common courtesy. We have now been at her school long enough that we know most of the families of her friends well enough that I have a ph # for most of them and I call them if I don't hear from them.

It's hard to plan when you do not know how many are coming. I know one year I was so aggravated that I planned to tell kids whose parents had not RSVPed that I am sorry I don't have a gift for you b/c I never heard from your parents and I didn't know you were coming (generally I buy paperback books or some sort of nicer item, instead of a goody bag filled with plastic stuff and candy--that's just me!). I did buy a few extras and as it turned out I had enough to give to everyone who attended. Usually a cake can serve more than attend a party anyway. I generally make cupcakes and have extras. Another inexpensive idea is to make a large sheet cake or two that can serve many. If there is a lot leftover guests can take some home with them.

It is difficult when your child becomes friends with the child of parents you can't relate to. I've experienced this too. I try to remember it is about my child and that child and not about the parent and me. My child was pretty hurt once in a somewhat similar situation, but you can't shield your child from every rude/thoughtless/strange person. Try to make it a positive learning experience. Unfortunately we all will have to deal with difficult people our entire lives. Learning strategies for this is useful.

I hope your daughter has a wonderful party!

[Guest Hanice]

BUSTER

How was the party btw?