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My Life Is Toxic


Racer
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Having hard time dealing with everything... I live with my parents, and our relationship is toxic at best. We live in a toxic house, in a toxic environment, and eat toxic food. My job is stressed to the max, and I just cant handle people anymore. My parents partly support me since I dont make much money, but they have there own problems with alcohol and drug addiction. I eat a horrible diet of junk food, fast food, whatever is cooked or leftover. I dont have many friends, and lately have been spending way to much time in my bedroom feeling depressed.

I imagine this is all making symptoms worse. I have been having tons of trouble sleeping. I tried to get sleeping meds from my doctor, but he was uncomfortable prescribing anything without first seeing the neurologist (I dont blame him). My neurologist visit is a month away, and if they want tests, this will be additional months of waiting. I just have this strong urge to run away from everything and start life over again.

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Sounds like you need to take a shower eat a healthy meal and go for a walk outside and get away from reality for a bit!!! Sometimes when I hyper focas on all the negative things in my life it feels pretty hopeless. But this is a viewpoint and we have the ability to change it!!! Sometimes it helps to make a list and for every bad thing you have to also list 2 good things. Good luck and don't forget to smile ;)

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I'm sorry, I know how you feel. :( I have been spending way too much time sitting on my couch feeling sad lately. I don't know what the weather is like where you live but getting outside in the sun even if I'm just sitting has been helping to get me out of my funk. Also I always feel better when I do something productive, even if I just unload the dishwasher. I'm really sorry your having such a rough time, I hope you feel better soon. You can PM me if you want :).

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Living with addiction is very hard. Even if you have the best of reserves and are in great health it is very hard on you. I am very sorry that things are so toxic. My best advice to you is to look at where you have control and make the best decisions you can in those areas. What you can control are your reactions, your thoughts, what you say, your perceptions. I know that some of that is tough being on the spectrum (I have 3 kiddos on the spectrum and my ex is Aspergers) but really pick one thing each day that you can make a positive choice. One thing we started at our house about 6-7 months ago was going around the dinner table and each saying something that made us happy in the last 24 hours (nothing future like, I'm happy my birthday is next week...) and we do this three times. At first my kids didn't like it, but now they fight over who goes first! It really helps to change a mindset. If all you can do is sit in your room and list out 3 things that made you happy in that day, it might improve your mood. And really it can be as small as, I'm happy I have clean sheets on my bed, I'm happy I took a shower, I'm happy I woke up today, etc. I swear, it works!

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I'm sorry Racer. I often feel like I'm living in a "toxic" environment as well. More negative vibe than toxic but I guess negative = toxic. Take baby steps!!! I'm certain any changes, even small ones, add up and makes improvements and I'm sure they would help with your health as well.

I'm not sure how old you are and I guess that part doesn't matter but if you're able to get a taxi, ride from someone, etc. Go to the store and get you some good, healthy food, instead of the junk. If you're in your room being depressed, write, get it off your chest, no one has to ever see it, just get it out of your head. You could do breathing exercises, stretch, do yoga, any of that. Get your mind in the right place even if others' aren't doing the same, I know it's harder than it sounds.

Sorry your appointment is still far off. Good luck with it when it finally gets here. Keep us informed.

Healthy, happy vibes to you!!!!

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Racer,

I am sorry that you aren't doing so well. I think the advice above is all great. You can also make some slightly healthier food choices even at fast food joints these days. You can choose grilled chicken salad or sandwiches. You can pick a side salad with lite dressing instead of fries, oatmeal with fruit, yogurt with fruit, etc. This is another choice within your control. And, I know it sounds cliche, but it is true that you choose your attitude. This is a skill you can learn. If you aren't good at it, I am sure you can find lectures online that help teach you this skill for free. As sleeping goes there are some over the counter and natural options out there. Have you tried them? Something as easy as taking a bath with Epsom salts (which contain magnesium that absorbs through your skin) can help you fall asleep faster at night.

I don't want you to think I'm being hard on you. I just want you to believe that you can and are allowed to take your power, make specific personal choices, and be kind to yourself. And no one can take those things away from you.

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Some of these things you mention are beyond your control. I would focus on what you CAN control For example, you control to some degree what you eat. So choose foods that are better for you if you think that would help. Junk food may not be as bad as you think for POTS, especially if it is salty.

The stress in your life could greatly be contributing to your POTS. Try to tackle each issue one at a time.

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Thanks everyone for the advice

Part of the problem was not having a car and the temperature being so cold.

The weather warmed up and I have been able to get some much needed exercise and fresh air. I just got a car so I have regained my ability to travel some. Getting a car is a major victory, and has really lifted my mood.

Now, if I could just get routine sleep...

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Racer,

Glad that things are looking up a bit for you since the weather warmed up. I also just want to share this resource - a 24-hr hotline that anyone can call if they are in an emotional crisis and/or feeling suicidal. 1-800-273-TALK(8255). Sometimes it's nice to be able to talk to someone. Also remember that we are always here for you on this forum! We've all had our ups and downs and are here to hold each other up. You are not alone! Take care

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